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The LPH Jaffa's, Lambton (2026)

17/06/2023

WE’RE STILL ALIVE BUT BARELY BREATHING 😮‍💨

The LPH Jaffas are on tour and we beg you to kiss us politely on the forehead if you see us in Gresford later today.

Have fun, go hard but most of all - be yourself.

03/06/2023

WHATS THIS? THE LPH JAFFAS PAGE IS BACK AGAIN?
Yeah I was in prison but Constable Delore helped me escape.
So what's happened since the Gresford game on round 1? Honestly can't remember so let's not worry about it. HOWEVER after a Big W last weekend against Toronto, the boys were looking for some dessert, and that dessert came in the form of the bottom of the ladder vs the top of the ladder-the cryptid giants kings of Charlestown AA team.
We had no expectations, but all to play for. I'm actually pretty tired from how much effort the Jaffas put in today now that I'm writing this so I'll keep it short.
0-1 Loss but a game that could have been anyones. It was a loss that resulted in us all coming off the field after the full time whistle and actually feel positive and proud of every single player and every single thing we did on that field (mainly trying to avoid the obsidian mine in the middle of the pitch).
MOTM votes were being thrown out left and right but it ultimately fell into the hands of the Big Man himself, and well deserved.

P.S Abby's on at the LPH at 8 or something, gonna have a shower and get changed see you there hehe

24/04/2023

2-3 GRESFORD
You wouldn’t believe it, but our first game of the regular season didn’t go to plan. From the get-go, we had a few unfortunate pullouts and once again played with the bare minimum numbers, but hey it’s not like we weren’t prepared for it. Our trial with no subs the week before stepped us up to be able to play the full 80+ minutes without resting, and we almost delivered.

Starting out, Tyler Haffner and Nate Delizzotti put the pressure on the opposition’s kick off, stressing them out enough to earn an early goal, adding it to the long list of achievements for the House of Haffner. It wasn’t long until Gresford returned the favour, and for the rest of the time it was anyones game. Things were looking positive for about 10 minutes until two more goals found the back of our net after they peppered us with some incredible shooting skills.

But the Jaffas were still hungry and refused to go down like that. After an (almost) glorious bicycle kick that may have splintered the spine of Ethan Meredith, it was the veteran defender, Michael Saxby who decided to take it upon himself to go score at the end of the game from a perfect corner curled in by Dylan Jackson, leaving it at 2-3 by the final whistle. Our now equal leading goal scorer also took man of the match on his debut of the 2023 season, and gosh is he getting more and more handsome with age? Maybe scoring agrees with him.

There was a lot to learn from this game that we will be taking into account for next week. Look out for the big W on this page.

16/04/2023

Ahhh the old stomping grounds of Harry Edwards Oval
It’s been awhile since we have graced the fake grass of the cricket pitch with the blood of our knees, but we wouldn’t have it any other way.
Today we had our one and only trial match before the season starts against our sibling team, a group of young and fit guns who were more than willing to step up to All Age from the junior leagues and give us a piece of their mind.
It would be a lie if I didn’t say we weren’t all feeling nervous beforehand.
Picture this: we have injuries, no subs, and lungs full of blueberry v**e but sometimes experience balances out fitness and skill, and after having rings ran around us and multiple fresh and skilful subs being used against us for the first 20 minutes, we still stepped up showed the heart that we always play with.
Our defence was tested for the first half of the overly long game, which resulted in the opposing force finally putting one past our stalwart man between the sticks James Walker and it seemed like this was an early look into what we were to expect for the rest of the game.
However adrenaline trumped our cramping legs and unwell lungs, and we showed them that we know how to play football, ending the game with a 1-1 draw. One of our new fierce signings Dylan Jackson must have watched Minority Report because that man preemptively had a perfect vision of the ball hitting the back of the net thanks to an accidental assist from Nate Delizzotti who considered an ambulance after his legs cramped up so bad that he became pigeon toed.
The new additions to the team, Wonder-Twins Tyler and Conner Turnbull shared the MOTM free beers at the Lambton Park Hotel after a spectacular presentation of energy and heart.
This season is going to be one to watch for both All Age teams, and if anyone has any contacts with the heads of Paramount+, let us know so we can both show some real interesting football. Sorry Arthur Papas.

22/10/2022

Coming at you from bed with a sore head. We have our official award recipients for the 2022 season.

Congratulations to Jackson Haffner for taking out the ‘DeLore Medal’ as the teams best player.

Plenty of fun was had and congratulations to everyone for another fun season.

JAFFAS award winners:

Most likely to turn up hungover : Vince Moody

Best goal : James Nolland

Most improved : Michael Saxby

Best supporter : Abby Saxby

Coaches award : Myles Willoughby

Most assists : Tyler Haffner

Top goal scorer : Ethan Meredith

Best goalkeeper : James Walker

Attacker of the year : Tyler Haffner

Midfielder of the year : James Paras

Defender of the year : Seb Hayter

Player of the year : Jackson Haffner

Life time achievement award : James Nolland

22/10/2022

What a night! Awards set to be announced.

Thank you to everyone who supported us this year!

See you in 2023 👀

22/10/2022

We are getting the sesh started at the Lambton Park Hotel!

21/10/2022

Well, hello there 👀

Long time no social media post! After the crushing defeat our season ended with, the boys have taken some much needed time away from the round ball and local watering hole. But that all ends TONIGHT!

The annual Jaffas presentation is tonight and all the Jaffas and Jafflet's set to descend upon the Lambton Park Hotel for the sport's night of nights.

Awards will be given, beers will be sipped and pokie machines will be gently but efficiently slapped. Who will take home the coveted 'DeLore Medal' for the sides best player?

Come on down to the LPH tonight for obnoxious screaming and frivolity to celebrate another storied year in the LPH Jaffa's history. GOD BLESS!

28/08/2022

This is it.

To keep the season alive the boys need a result today. Someone will be a hero today, who will it be? The Theatre of Dreams awaits us at 3:30pm this afternoon and we will be drawing on all our energy to get the job done.

After initially struggling for numbers, we see the return of our captain James Nolland and also constable DeLore who will be the first player in the history of the game to play with a stun-gun on his hip.

Praise be to sesh mascot Matt Mudd, we could use some of his stamina and determination today.

There's not much else say! The boys have always wanted to play in a grand final and this is pretty damn close to one. SO FIRE UP!

UP THE JAFFAS!

GAME @ 3:30pm - Harry Edwards Oval
Carry On @ if you're brave.

27/08/2022

It all comes down to the last game of the season tomorrow.

You could write a book about it.

Win or draw = finals
Lose = the dream is dead

See you tomorrow at Harry Edwards Oval.

P.s: here's a fun photo of James Walker to cheer us all up.

26/08/2022

IT'S GAMEDAY!

It's another double header this weekend! So brush off your favourite LPH Jaffas jersey and get down to a game you salty dogs! Massive game against Mayfield today, we almost had the result in the bag in torrential rain when we last faced, two late goals saw them steal the result so we will be fired up for today!

📣 PREDICTED LINEUP 📣

I don't actually know what the lineup is today, so i've gotten the crystal ball out. We have a few stallions out today who are giving themselves a cheeky freshen up before the finals campaign but the boys are not home and hosed yet! We need to get some points in our final two games and the boys are chomping at the bit after narrowly going down last weekend. James 'Yoga Instructor' Walker will be between the sticks for us today and Seb Hayter and David Goode form the brick wall in front of him. The telepathic abilities of the Sharp brothers will be on show for another week and we see the 'People's Slug' Ethan Meredith looking to keep his goal tally ticking over. Speedy sideman Tyler Haffner will also be looking to make it three consecutive goal scoring games today, what a weapon.

Couple of outs today but we feel we can make a good account of ourselves. Finals are just around the corner and we know on our day we can carry on with the best of them!

UP THE JAFFAS!

GAME @ Maryland 1pm
CARRY ON @ Yes please.

19/08/2022

IT'S GAMEDAY 👊🏼

What a lovely day we are waking up to this morning and the boys are fired up to take on South Cardiff! When we last faced these guys the less said the better... But after a bloody fantastic double header last weekend, the LPH JAFFAS are ready to carry on!

🔥 WARNING! this lineup is STACKED 🔥

As we approach our finals campaign, we start to see some familiarly handsome faces return to the lineup and there is none more-so than captain James Nolland who returns to the midfield. Experienced campaigner and former diseased L***r Mitch Sharp returns to the team which is also massive. Ever-reliable Tyler Haffner and Lewis Sharp occupy our flanks today, looking to channel their inner Ronaldo and snap some ankles. The versatile Myles Willoughby will head the operation , hungrier than ever to hear that sweet sound of the ball hitting the back of the net. Finally, our defensive line is sturdier than ever with father of the year Jackson Haffner and the beautiful Michael Saxby locking it down.

Nice early game today and with a finals berth seemingly locked in, the boys can improve their chances by collecting a big W to move higher up the table.

UP THE JAFFAS !!!!

GAME @ Jack Neaves Oval 1 12pm
CARRY ON @ Lambton Park Hotel & wherever we damn well please.

The LPH Jaffa's

17/06/2023

03/06/2023

24/04/2023

16/04/2023

22/10/2022

22/10/2022

22/10/2022

21/10/2022

28/08/2022

27/08/2022

26/08/2022

19/08/2022

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