Bayside Tummy-Stix

19/07/2020

The real cowes YMCA mvp was always the umpires

FRANKIE DeGROOT | News | CONTACT In an unusual move, no players in the Betoota Bandicoots Under 12s soccer team were awarded MVP on Saturday morning; the coveted plastic trophy and McDonalds Happy Meal voucher instead being handed to a player’s father who made the volunteer umpire burst into tea...

19/08/2018

Q

31/01/2018

Sad day to be a stickler...

22/11/2017

Warning Stix subscribers... if your about to have dinner with your inlaws, I would hold off and read the highlight of your week when you get home because this write up could bring on hormones that'll make you more h***y then a rooster in the hen house...

The clinic was scheduled at 7:45 but with both referees napping in the corner it was delayed, none the less there was one man ready for tip off, with the glove johnston opening the night with 4 steals resulting in a huge start for the Stix. All 16 members of the line up were back and firing on all cylinders which was good because with the temp rising and fitness levels still low, the bulk rotations was much needed. Some opposition fight back came in the second half but the likes of sauce, prawn and duyker held firm to give the Stix another big W.. go Stix

15/11/2017

The Heat was turned up at the local squash / basketball court tonight with the Stix coming up against a fierce competitor in their mid week local average highly competitive but severely unfit basket comp. the stars aligned in a once in a blue moon type event with a near on full squad available for the Stix ! Car pooling and shuttle busses had to be used just to get the squads of both teams to the court... it was a German BBQ with a lot of hot and sweaty bratwurst running around and the steam wasn't only coming out off the players, with even eddy having a fluttering moment when looking at the boys getting changed into their kits...

now generally this write will mention high and low lights from each player but with too many to mention I will be un biased and only pick a couple. In a career first, boofington was sent to the bench to start on the pine, much to the disgust of the sell out crowd who clearly had paid there money to see the stars of the competition only to be disappointed with Al duyker and his terrible excuse for a mo. Anyway it wasn't long before the Veteran Johnston came on the court and ran the offence, helping the boys get off to a great start which would lead the them holding onto a big W!.. a high intensity game right up until the end with both teams regularly trading baskets.
It was a mathematically equation to try figure out how to run the bench with the idea of changing 3 blokes every 3-4 minutes clearly being too hard for the likes of bison and hubba. Who were obviously confused and it showed in their play, with hubba thinking he was Russell Westbrook and trying to go all the way with circus shots coming out his rear. But the old firm of Kinghorn, W-B and Kracken held firm and a big W for the Stix !

08/11/2017

Tonight the Bayside Stickler’s overcame the mid week shock that showers cannot be trusted to take on the finest moulders of young minds the country has to offer... and stuffed them!

The Stix had a rarity with an 18 man squad named at 6:00pm and by 6:03pm a mere 4 blokes could be mustered which meant the manager had to make the big call and interrupt a man and a very important Skype call on his rest week, thus making the 5.
With fitness levels at an all time low and no bench rotations the lads were blowing so hard that Sandy had to step up the spin class next next door!
With big Butch Duyker back in the colours from his time away gathering research for his mardi gra blog the lads got off to a great start. Aided by the lid that new found tradie Matthew ‘brick’ Jackson had earlier screwed to the basket, Jummy ‘raindrop’ Insall got to work finding out that the bank was still left open from Beefy’s last visit.
The half was well and truly welcomed by the boys as they took a 10 point lead into the break.
After a good ol razzing from the coach Boofington came out of the break like a bull in a china shop, kicking and slapping the pumpkin out of bounds at every opportunity.
Bison and the Hoss controlled the paint as per usual and with perimeter passing the key to find our “shooters” the tight knit group finished off the teachers, Chalking Up the Win!!

18/10/2017

A famous former coach of the P.I.F.C once said, that we have a great group of players but a s**t house committee... well here at Stix HQ a similar situation is taking place. A changing of the guard is underway and some former members that were once thought of as giants amongst men are now more like tiny p***y cats in the jungle. With loyalty thrown out the window, and priorities flushed down the s**tter, it was left to just 4 players tonight to get the job done with several ( former ) members of the Stix choosing to strip down to nothing but their birthday suits, oil themselves up and massage each other's egos and not rock up to the courts. Not naming names but they know who they are, will no doubt be feeling the shame of letting the franchise down while they eat their 4th frozen pizza in as many nights. So with all this happening just minutes from tip off the boys were rattled but not broken. The new BIG 4 in Johnston, insall, Officer and Taylor proved that 5's a crowd and that they only needed the bare minimum to get the 4 points. Johnston put the glove away this week in favour for the touch down with him scoring numbers only Dreamt of as kids growing up. Running at 96% from the field and notching up a top speeds of a full grown cheetah 110-120kmph, the chalkies had no match for his raw athleticism.. ably assisted by big bustling who steamed rolled his way to basket on numerous times, to miss most but get to Big G officer who mopped up the left overs and put it back in. But the player who really came out of his sub continent skin was Blake 'Hubba' Jum who was tear dropping them from the roof of the arena, he used his skinny frame to slide his way past the D and drain many a baskets... he even stopped a 5 man fast break when the other boys had already left to hit the beach! The man was possessed with rumours his booked out an entire top floor of Crown this weekend to attend and hopefully break the Dumpling eating record of 145. Look out Liv.. he could be blasting out soy sauce at the end of the night... even saltier then the other stuff I've heard 🤔..

Any way great win for the Stix against the white board markers of Cowes P.S who may need to get the VHS out at lunch time and go over some of the basic rules with their new players...

11/10/2017

A New season is upon us, and the Dynasty that is the Tunmy Stix continue to dominate local average men's basketball.. With majority of Members still on their winter vacation, the depth of the Stix roster was tested. We had to load up from our D league team who have been stuck in the bleachers with a VB tinnie in each hand for far too long now. So it was the ever reliable Jum who clearly missed the memo when we said the only reason we pick you is so his better half will come and score, the raging Bull Kirton who had lead poisoning warming the pine crunching numbers, Big G officer who was Xtremely light on his feet after his recent quest for love took him to the sunny dirt patch part of the world called Numerkah where he blew the dust up one their local heffers. Rumour is he might've also pre heated the oven if ya get my drift..👨‍👧‍👦👨‍👧‍👦?
Big bad Bustling Bison Taylor who has threatened to pull the kit on for years but couldn't fit time in around walking his misses dog up the block. Captain Dimes himself slick back Boof DiCaprio who is looking at improving on his 2nd most improved award from last season annnddddddd last but not least out of retirement and fresh from his sebaticle at water pistol patrol in Melbourne, the milky bar kid himself, off the snowy river and supporting a new Do, Locho Cleeland made his come back into the lineup showing that grinding on that big stiff hard pole all day has done wonders for his mid range shot...!

So with this new look team full of youth and pace, we took on a new team in the competition but with some familiar faces. They boys played like the well oil machine they are swinging the ball around and using as much clock as possible. It's a mind game it really is and after we held onto the ball for an average of 3 min per dribble the court really opened up for Boof Dimes to find bustling Bison who was powering up the guts and into open goals.. Boof beat his own record for assists with Beef the stats man Kirton stopping counting after Dime number 23. Snowy Cleeland was everywhere both Defensively and offensivel, Bison Taylor was a steam train coming into the lane taking 15 steps with dribbling before putting in the basket and the back court of Jum and Big G were equally as good. Question is now, With some of the Veterans of the squad coming back over the next few weeks, will there be room on the court for everyone.?

14/09/2017

It was finals fever on Wednesday night and it was great too see the YMCA turned the dial on freeze for the StIX who were coming in hot hot form, the thousand strong crowd were rugged up more than that bloke who you gave your change too last satdy night buying a kebab on little Collins street at 4 am... clearly having the stadium at a brisk -3 degrees affected the rampant Stix team narrowly losing their final and therefore bow out of the competition..

With a record 47 players pulling the Guernsey on this season, it came as a surprise when told that only 4 players had actually qualified to take the court, but after King prawn put his foot down and questioned the decision, knowing he has the people behind the decision wrapped around his little finger the correction was made and we welcomed in jake 'circus shot ' smith in... apprently all we had to do was ask the other team if he could play and after finding out who it was they were fine with him playing.. even happy about it ? Maybe he's shooting percentage of 12% could be a reason for that... circus shot smith was told that he had to drop 30 points to justify the misunderstanding, unfortunately the only thing he dropped was the ball when it was thrown to him.. so an undermanned, undersized, under paid Stix team took the court and despite the prawn battling in the post like he was on the front line fighting for his life, the rest of the team ( Jummy, boot and Kracken) were well under par!

On a brighter note, we know it's a team game but individual awards mean everything here at Stix HQ, and we are lucky to have some champions walking amongst us. Mitch 'king Henry the 8th ) took time to thank all 8 of his girl friends for the unconditional love and support they give him each week and to also mention that if he didn't venture over seas he would've won the MVP unanimously..
but the big winner of the night was boot johnston who took out the coveted award of ' 2nd most improved player'.. he will be proud to put the pair of socks he won up in his trophy cabinet next to the back to back coaches awards he has won during the summer cricket season!

Till next Season go Stix !

07/09/2017

The final round of the home & away season started with a bang, that being the calf of star opposition player Brett Robinson. Claiming it felt like he'd been shot, but realistically it was just Stix small man, housemate and workmate Jason (Beers soon?) McCraken head-butting him. In his post game press conference Brett stated that he is still 'unsure on whether he will take legal action' against McCraken as this could effect Metta World Peace and their finals run.
After that emotional roller coaster first minute, the Stix started where they left off from the previous week, moving the pumpkin with more precision than a Churchill Island farmers market!
Jake (J's on my feet) Smith got the run started going 5/5 in the opening minutes and this was just the beginning, as the floodgates opened!
Cracken continued the run dropping not one, not two, but thrice 3 balls. However the workplace/household rivalry continued with multiple spectators claiming to see him spit towards the opposition bench made up of Brett attending to his potentially snapped calf.
The run continued with the Stix getting out to a 25-6 lead midway through the first half with Prawn making the most of the oppositions lack of height controlling the paint like Jummy & Big Al do on the daily.
The Stix closed out the half with a healthy 20 point lead.

The second half started slow for the Stix with MWP going on a run, knocking down multiple 3's and cutting the lead to 10.
Now this is no spelling error, I can confirm I am not in anyway being paid to write this, nor am I at gun point. But..
Blake (The bank is open late on Wednesdays) Insall took it upon himself and took over the game opening multiple accounts and making numerous deposits. Totalling 15 second half points and confirming the Stix go into the finals on a two game winning streak!
Special mention goes out to Brodie (boofington express) who filled the stat sheet including the little known stat of 'missed lay-up assists', which Prawn got on he end of.
Go Stix!

31/08/2017

Round 17 Saw the Stix welcome back IGA cult figure Mitch 'Prawn' Kinghorn from his 4 weeks scouting abroad with original member and well missed Zachariah 'B.Bear' Brown.
Sadly Prawns return wasn't enough to rally the troops as Alex 'Woolies Nightfill' Duyker continued to put his trip to Athens above the Stix, much to the disappointment of all players, staff and supporters. In addition much loved small man Jason 'Beers soon?' McCraken was a late exclusion with man flu, along with Simon 'Beef' Kirton who failed to get up after a finger injury last week which he has self diagnosed as 'Filangyitis'.

Despite the exclusions the Stix scrambled and pulled together a starting line up.
In the end that's all the Stix required, putting on a clinic on both ends of the floor, playing true unselfish Stix ball. At one stage being compared to the modern day San Antonio Spurs. Prawn made his presence felt in the paint early protecting the rim and being the beneficiary of great ball movement dropping 15 in the first half.
Starting the second half with an 8 point lead, the Stix picked up where they left off with everyone getting involved thanks to Brodie 'postman' Johnston piercing gaps that some claimed daylight couldn't even get through. Jake 'circus shot' Smith attacked the rim with multiple athletic layup attempts with only a small few finding the bottom of the net. Although these attempts seemed high percentage in comparison to Jummys running tear drop attempts. As the lead blew out to 18 points the Stix took the foot off the pedal coming out 10 point victors with all players managing to hit the scoreboard. This victory hopefully building some much needed momentum as the finals are fast approaching.
Go Stix!

09/08/2017

After last weeks close heartbreaking loss, Stix HQ had a crisis meeting where some vital points were made... the decision was that they would stop trying to recruit good basketballers and resort back to what the dynasty was formed off all those years ago (74 to be exact ). They first tried 'Top Knot' Tom officer. Unavailable due to another extended hair cut, next up was Pete and / or Felicity, but Pete didn't want to miss the finale of the bachelorette... so we were left with Big G Al officer... now according to some ( jarrod black ) Big G doesn't fall into the good bloke category either but we were desperate.. lucky for us he definitely is a poor baller... fresh of a dominant performance manning the back pocket in the local oval ball team, Al came in with a blaze of glory getting the first 14 rebounds of the game, locking down the paint, just like he does between 9 - 5 Mon-Fri. Unfortunately our ok rebounding didn't lead to anything up the court and the boys fell well short of the other teams score.

Without Prawn and his entourage of 6 young drooling fans, the atmosphere was a bit dull but never fear, it is a temporary lapse in form, a cunning plan from the coaching staff because we all know its way better winning from the underdog position then going through undeafeated throughout the whole season. Plus it's a good chance to gain some revenue by betting large amounts of money on us to lose.. this game plan has paid for our last 5 end of season trips to the P.I RSL