Conundrum Horse Handling

25/08/2026

25/08/2026

Thank you Shelley Appleton for the newest Peter podcast. Peter credits survivalist Cody Lundin with the term "part science, part art & part humility" - it fits so well with horse handling!

https://open.spotify.com/episode/2JT87A68MpcjkUtluWF2O2

Canter Therapy · Episode

28/07/2026

We were lucky enough to have double Cowell-boy power on Thursday morning. Megan Taylor's horses have settled in well

27/04/2026

Welcome to the Conundrum family 'Chocolate Mulesli Bar' This could be an interesting journey!
His ears don't even look that long in this photo 😁

29/03/2026

LESSON DAYS !!!! I'm happy to announce I'll be starting regular lesson days in Victoria, Australia. Starting Saturday, 4 April from 9am, I'll be at Peninsula Park Equestrian Centre in Moorooduc. Individual hour lessons, with all booking information here tomorrow. This will be a great opportunity to brush up on things to strengthen your relationship with your horse and your horsemanship.

29/03/2026

A late post, but thank you so much Mark Campbell & Spinifex Welding for replacing the jockey wheel on the float. It's life changing! Note the solar panel for the breakaway brake unit by Jeremy from Blue Tongue Auto Electrical. Happily we've not needed to use it, but it certainly looks pretty!

24/02/2026

I know that it's not about me, but there is something to be grateful for in having a mob of horses head your way! Note Ginny at the front, Cheeky ( Brooke French ) & Tiberius next ( Nony Baldwin ) then Peter's chaff converters Zebarry & Banga

14/02/2026

Can you guys just follow this page, cause I don't have time to share them all!! Again, you hit another mark Shelley Appleton

Stop Shrinking. Your Horse Notices.

There is a quiet habit many women perfect long before they ever own a horse. It is the habit of becoming smaller. Do not inconvenience anyone. Do not impose. Do not be too much. Be agreeable. Be easy.

It works in human society. You are rewarded for it. You are described as kind and low maintenance. Shrinking keeps things smooth.

Then you buy a horse.

And the strategy falls apart.

Because horses do not interpret shrinking as kindness. They interpret it as irrelevance.

When you hesitate because you do not want to upset your horse, when you soften your request halfway through, when you step back the moment you feel uncertain or judged, your horse does not admire your sensitivity. Your horse simply concludes, “I’ll organise this.”

So it scans the environment. It drifts. It disconnects. Not because it is dominant or damaged, but because you diluted your own significance.

This is the part people romanticise as connection. They imagine something mystical has happened when a horse is “with you.”

It is not mystical.

When a horse is with you, it is oriented toward you because you make sense. Because following you reduces uncertainty. Because you feel organised and predictable. Attention is not magic. It is learned relevance.

And relevance requires you to occupy space.

You cannot guide a horse while apologising for existing. You cannot ask for attention while quietly believing you should not have it.

This is not about dominance or force. It is about tolerating being significant. Staying present. Allowing yourself to matter in the interaction.

And here is the beautiful part.

Horses have a way of teaching you that you do matter. They need you to be heard. They need you to be important, not for ego, but for security.

You are already that person.

Your horse simply needs you to believe it too.❤

Now share this far and wide.🙏
Somewhere out there is a woman rehearsing how to be smaller tomorrow. She needs this interruption. ❤
Collectable Advice 156/365. Save it. Share it. But please do not copy and paste.I have retired from shrinking. Including around my own writing.😜

14/02/2026

Thank you for writing this Dr Shelley Appleton
Yes

Breaking News: The Horse Has Voted. It Does Not Care About Your Moral Label.🤯

Apparently the horse world is now a spaghetti western.

On one side, the Gentle and Kind.🫶
On the other, The Villains. Twirling moustaches. Plotting cruelty before breakfast.🤠

It is a great story.

It is also nonsense.🙄

Most horse people are gentle and kind. Especially women. Socially conditioned to care. Biologically wired for it. Many of you apologise to inanimate objects when you bump into them .😆

But horses do not sort humans into moral categories.

They sort us into predictable or unpredictable. Clear or confusing. Secure or unsafe. Non-threatening or threatening.

That is it.

You can be deeply kind and profoundly confusing.😕
You can mean well and still create insecurity.😕
The horse will not think, “She means well.”
The horse will think, “I do not understand this person and I feel threatened.”

Here is the real spectrum of "gentle and kind people"...

At one end - Gentle, kind people without skill hesitate, second guess, apply pressure accidentally, release it too late, panic, then feel guilty. Conflict grows.

At the other end - Gentle, kind people with skill are clear, timely, and deliberate. The horse feels secure because the communication makes sense.

Same kindness. Different competence.😎

Horses do not prefer “gentle people.”
They prefer skilled ones.

Gentleness without skill is not ethical. It is good intentions colliding with reality.💥

Ethics is not a label. It shows up in ex*****on and outcomes. Being ethical is an argument, not a statement of fact based on some ideological belief.

So ask yourself one honest question.
Has your quest to be gentle and kind resulted in your horse being calm, willing and confident to handle and ride? Or are you struggling?🤔

If you are struggling, you are probably not unkind but you are likely under-skilled.

And if the path you tried kept you stuck, maybe you do not need more gentleness.

Maybe you need a better teacher (we are out there!).

Hit save. Share wisely. No moral capes required.

Collectable Advice 157/365. Please no copy and pasting, hit the share button instead.

05/02/2026

Nice Shelley Appleton . I may find myself sharing many posts if yours (when I have time!)
https://www.facebook.com/share/p/1AK6ryLtKH/