Coach Perse

22/04/2026

World's Greatest Shave - MeTaBoLiC P***E https://share.google/Juuv5k82d9jxsMHdB

21/04/2026

I’m completing The Push-Up Challenge to level-up mental health in Australia and would love your support. Will you donate?

Help raise funds for much-needed mental health services and initiatives by donating to my page. I’m completing The Push-Up Challenge to support this great cause and would love your help to reach my fundraising target.

16/04/2026

Rito, im back. Look out!!!

16/04/2026

14/04/2026

🚨 LUNGES 4 LEUKEMIA 🚨

We have reviewed CCTV footage from site and can confirm: Percy has taken “call handling” to a completely new level.

Evidence shows him:
📞 Wearing full PPE
📞 Smiling suspiciously like he’s closing a crane deal AND a phone contract at the same time
📞 Holding a phone like it’s 1997 and he’s about to order dial-up internet

We’re not saying he’s distracting……but we ARE saying no actual lunges were completed during this call.

💥 THIS SATURDAY 💥
We fix that.

LUNGES 4 LEUKEMIA
💪 60 minutes of pure quad regret
💪 Maximum effort, minimum dignity
💪 Fundraising so good it hurts (literally your legs)

📍 Edge Hill – Red Arrow Carpark Entrance
⏰ 6:45AM sharp (late arrivals will be assigned extra lunges as punishment)

Percy has promised:

No more “important calls” during lunges
No more suspicious smiling
And absolutely no negotiating mid-burn

👉 Donate here: https://fundraise.childrens.org.au/fundraisers/metabolicperse/umifit-lunges-4-leukemia

Remember:
If Percy can answer calls in a hard hat like he’s running NASA…you can do a few lunges for a bloody good cause.

See you there. Bring legs. Leave excuses.

08/02/2026

COACH P***E 🧠🔥

Mix it up… or your body will get comfy.

Alright crew listen up…
If you keep doing the same routine, same weights, same machines, same tempo, same everything…
your body goes:

“Sweet. I know this. Minimal effort required.” 😴
And that’s when progress slows down.
Not because you’re lazy… but because your body is too smart.

So today I pulled up to ETS – Eat Train Succeed and decided to shake the whole system up 💥
Different machines.
Different angles.
Different movements.
Legs, glutes, and yes… the full rear-end department 🍑😂

And honestly… it felt unreal.
Sometimes the best thing you can do is stop chasing the perfect program and start chasing new stimulus.

Your body adapts.
So you adapt harder.
Tomorrow I’ll probably be walking like a newborn giraffe 🦒…

but that’s the price of progress.
Trick the body. Shock the system. Earn the gains. 💪🔥

***e ***E

08/02/2026

Coach P***e 😈💪

Routine. Habit. Consistency.

People reckon they “fall off” when their options get restricted…
Food changes. Sleep changes. No gym access. No supplements. Different environment.
Nah mate… that’s when the real discipline gets tested. 😤

I’m away from my usual environment right now, so I’ve had to make the new one comfortable… otherwise I know exactly what happens…
It starts with:

😴 sleeping in because it’s a different bed
Then ☕ coffee turns into coffee x 4
Then “I’ll eat later”
Then no protein
Then no creatine
Then no hydra lights

Then suddenly I’m living off vibes and willpower.
So instead… I’m building the routine like a weapon.
Wake up.
Coffee.
Protein.
Creatine + Hydra Lights.
Apple.
Walk.
Jog.
Sunlight.
Shoes off for grounding 🌍 (yes I’m that guy now).
Coffee again… obviously.
Protein again… obviously.
Then pack a small snoko because preparation is the difference between winning and ending up at a servo eating regret.

Tuna. Rice. Fruit.
Eat when peckish. Stay ready.
No gym? Cool.
Looks like it’s a bodyweight workout.
Burpees are the ultimate “shut up and work” exercise.

No excuses. No equipment. No membership.
Just you… and your poor life choices.
Burpees can be done anywhere, anytime… and you’ll feel like you’ve done a full day’s work in 7 minutes. 😂🔥

The goal isn’t perfection.
The goal is staying consistent when everything changes.
Make what you’ve got in front of you work.
That’s real routine. That’s real discipline.
Now excuse me while I go argue with gravity.

***e 💪😤🔥

05/02/2026

02/02/2026

☕️ Walked into UmiFit UmiFit yesterday with a coffee and an attitude…

Thought I was gonna be babysat for the next 60 minutes.

Mid-week. Bit dusty. Strength-focused lately. You know the story.

WRONG.

Stoviesy hit me with discipline and technique from minute one.

No easing in. No fluff. No ego strokes.
Straight-up coaching. 🧠🔥
And it clicked…

I haven’t been showing up to CrossFit as much because I’ve been chasing strength.
What I didn’t realise is I’d lost technique, lost mobility, and started forgetting why I go to CrossFit in the first place.

I don’t go there to be babysat.
I go there to be coached.
I go there to learn.
I go there to be exposed. 😮‍💨

Yesterday?
I fkn smashed the workout.
Scaled the absolute s**t out of it.
Felt good. Moved better. Learned heaps.

Found out later in the arvo I actually did the ladies’ workout because my wife told me…
👀

We’re not telling anyone that though.
(Except Facebook apparently.)

If you’re looking for a gym where:
Coaching > ego
Technique matters
You actually get better, not just sweat
Umifit is where it’s at.

Shoutout to the crew:
Coach Tamara
Coach Gaz
Coach Matt
Coach Stoviesy
This place keeps me honest.
Keeps me moving.
Keeps me learning.
I’m back, baby.
I’m back 2026. 💪🔥

01/02/2026

Alright… Coach P***e – PT Weekly Confessions time 😅👇

(no filters, just facts… and sore feet)

PT WEEKLY CONFESSIONS 📝
This week I slowed right down on purpose. As I. Missing 2 teeth...

Recovery week activated 🧠💪
Limited walking thanks to sore feet from the 100,000 red arrows 🏹 I stacked up recently.
Turns out even engines need a service.

The wins 👇
👫 Training & community
Partnered with my wife for a CrossFit session at UmiFit ❤️

Assisted Coach Tamara with the Kids Crew CrossFit at UmiFit
(10/10 energy, 11/10 chaos, 12/10 heart)

📉 Body comp results
–0.5 kg bodyweight
0 muscle mass lost ❌
–0.5% body fat 🔥

Recovery works… who knew 😉

📊 Daily averages
3035 cals
333g carbs
251g protein
70g fats

🚦 1 red arrow
Not perfect… but not spiralling either 👀

🏋️ Training
3 x strength classes 💪
1 x HIIT – 14 mins sprint 75m / walk back
(lungs left the chat)
1 x 45-min incline treadmill
(quiet cardio, loud calves)
🚶 Movement

14k average daily steps
Rest every second day like an adult who’s finally learning

🍽️ Nutrition & recovery
Nutrition-first week
Minimal cardio, max recovery
1 cheat: frozen yoghurt + dinner out 🍦🍽️
1 tequila shot 🌵
(measured. controlled. professional.)
😴 Recovery status

I feel recovered
1 BIG sleep-in: 10+ hours 😴
Back paid off. CNS sent a thank-you email.

🧠 Headspace Feeling in control.
No chaos. No panic cardio.
No “I’ll fix it Monday” energy
Sometimes progress isn’t louder…
It’s calmer. Controlled. Recovered.
Back to work.









***e 💪