Coaching Through Cancer (2026)

Over 4 years ago, cancer graced my life. It was a bone cancer, Stage IV in my lower left mandible. The tumor was removed along with teeth and tissue. 3 weeks after surgery I underwent Radiation and Chemo treatments together. The harshest thing I have done to myself, my body. Baseball was my saving grace through the recovery process. I was a small town Varsity baseball coach and coaching is a pass

ion. 3 months after treatments ended, my jaw bone broke. No matter what we did, the bone would not heal. Eating was something that I did very carefully for almost 2 years hoping the bone would heal. I ended up in the hospital almost 2 years ago with my face swelling and had to get IV antibiotics for 60 days straight in a pic line. At that time, I jumped at the chance to do hyperbaric dives to help my body heal. I did 45 dives total. After all was said and done, the infection came back. I then ended up from a referral from a great doctor to another facility. They found the bone had broke apart and punctured the gum tissue. On March 23rd of 2021, I had the fibula/flap procedure done to rebuild my jaw. This was a surgery that was very intense and the recovery process was lengthy. I recovered, not as fast as I would of liked, but again was on the field for my final season as a coach. The boys I coached I had to see through and were my inspiration of working to get better and be there on the field with them. All went well, until last Thanksgiving. A biopsy of gum tissue showed invasive squamous cell carcinoma. The surgeon removed more teeth with tissue. We thought all was well until 6 weeks ago when more biopsies showed more cancer and it had metastasized, moving to my lymph nodes (5 total) a spot on my right lung and an open cancer wound in my mouth. I was told to get my affairs in order....a very hard phone call to receive. With that, Stacey and myself reached out to my Oncologist from my first go around and ended up at Mayo.....Now we are fighting, but have an incredible team up there. We are currently doing immunotherapy and we qualified for an experimental trial that we just underwent the first round of. This is our journey as we go through this, the good, the bad, the ups, the downs, the tears, the laughs.

02/03/2025

Apparently I’m the only one amused with my picture taking abilities! But…I’m choosing to see our current situation with a lense of lightness instead of the alternative.

It’s been a challenging few months for Tony and we acknowledge that we’ve not been super transparent with everyone since we started this leg of our journey back in December. We know you all have been thinking about Tony and sending all the love and prayers. Which we are incredibly thankful for.

So, let me take you back to December when things took a turn for Tony. He hadn’t been feeling great for a while , lack of appetite, low energy, poor sleep and gradual weight loss.

We had made a trip to Mayo at the end of October to see if there was anything we could do about the trach at any point - which we cannot and the trach is permanent. And while there, they found that he had an infection in and around his trach and sent a sample off to the lab for further testing.

They promptly put him on an antibiotic, which seemed to help. Later, at his oncology appt we shared with them the test results from the culture they took at Mayo and sent us to infectious disease for further evaluation. It took a week to get into see that doctor and Tony progressively got worse. More mucus, continued lack of appetite, nausea, etc. it wasn’t pretty.

Come to find out, the ID Doc explained that he had pneumonia. We were grateful that it wasn’t something worse and was treatable. Then we start round #2 of antibiotics.

He gets better-ish. By this time the holidays are creeping up on us, he’s still not feeling awesome and decides to take the remaining month of December off to rest. We again, were grateful for his work being so understanding and for the time to stay home and recover. In December he did have scans and thankfully 🙏 everything was stable.

Now, I wish I could tell you that rest in December did the trick but he continued to decline, eat less and have more and more mucus.

At his regular scheduled treatment appointment on Jan 2nd, they immediately sent us to the ER with elevated white blood cell counts, extreme drop in weight and very low potassium. It was here that they determined it was still the pneumonia and very serious.

He spent 6 days on heavy IV antibiotics, fluids and was eating regular food. His energy was better and the color back in his face. We also determined that the pneumonia was caused by food/fluid getting into his lungs - not from being exposed to someone that was sick.

He was able to pass the solid food part of his swallow test but liquids from that point on, needed to be thickened to keep them from going down “the wrong way”.

Again…I wish I had good news at this point but there was another trip to the ER and we are now on our 3rd hospital stay since the beginning of the year. Nothing we were doing was helping, he wasn’t getting better and the extreme weight loss was frightening to watch.

After losing 12 lbs in 2 weeks (with a total of 70 lbs lost since Oct 😳🥺) with no improvement in symptoms even on an oral antibiotic, his oncologist said enough is enough. It’s time for a feeding tube to get him well. And we agreed. The up and down of this journey has been heart wrenching. 😞😞

On Friday morning, he had a feeding tube placed and finally started to get some solid nutrition that afternoon. He has successfully completed 2 full “meals” through the tube that they’ve given him slowly over the last 2 days.

On Monday, he will do another swallow test to determine if he can “eat” real food in addition to the feeding tube. We are pretty certain it’s liquids that are the culprit causing the pneumonia and not solids, but we will know tomorrow.

Whew. Ok. That was a lot. But the takeaway for everyone is that:

1. The pneumonia was from fluid/food getting into his lungs. All due to the damage and trauma to his neck and throat over the 7 year’s.

2. The feeding tube will help his lungs heal, get the needed nutrients that he’s been lacking for months and help him gain some much needed weight back.

We do not know if the feeding tube will be permanent but we are grateful he has it so he can recover.

Through all of this, he’s had only a few treatments so we pray that his cancer continues to stay stable. We will have scans some time this month.

You all know Tony is not a quitter and the last few months he has proven that this is not the end of this journey. We simply have too much life left to live together. ❤️🙏

So. I choose to see the light on this journey as it would be too easy for us both to fall too far into the dark if we chose to. Every day we have a choice to live, to be grateful, to be kind, forgiving and lead with love and gratitude. Today, I’m grateful he humors me with goofy pictures even if he doesn’t smile….because he’s still here with me to take them. 🙏❤️

Much love to you all! We are still here and we are still fighting this ugly battle with each other at our sides. ❤️🙏

23/12/2024

It’s this fellas birthday today!!! 🙌🥳🎄💚

It’s been a bit since we shared so I will give you all a quick update. It’s been a challenging fall for Tony’s health but we are finally on a path to healing.

Around October he picked up some kind of bug and was out for about a week. We thought he was doing better but after a routine trip to Mayo at the beginning of Nov they found that he had an infection around his trach that had settled in his lungs.

Two antibiotics later he was still not feeling awesome. We received test results from Mayo that suggested he had a fungal infection, black yeast, which was treated with an antifungal and an appt with the infectious disease doctor was set up.

For two weeks he struggled to breathe, couldn’t eat, was exhausted, night sweats and all we could think was that he had this awful fungal infection that was slowly growing in his lungs! Ugh. 😣 He simply wasn’t getting better.

Finally….we made it to the infectious disease doctor on Wed this week, praying for answers and direction. And come to find out, the “black yeast” was a non issue and would have already been cleared up after a week of the anti fungal meds.

So…what was the issue? Pneumonia. 🥺 We were relieved to hear that it was all fixable! 🙏🙏 The same day we met with his ENT and she said his trach looked good and we needed to continue his normal trach hygiene routine.

And to add to our good news, we received scan results the next day and everything is STABLE! No new growth. No new spots. No changes.

He’s been on medication for the pneumonia and is finally starting to feel like himself. Today was the first day in weeks that I’ve seen him eat an entire day of food that wasn’t a protein shake. Actual real food. 💚🙏

To say that we are grateful, is a complete understatement. The anxiety leading up to his appointments this last week was at an all time high, not fully understanding what was happening we were so relieved to hear good news two days in a row.

This holiday season we decided that we did not want to get each other gifts and asked that all we get from our kids was time with them. Togetherness and the continued opportunity to make memories and enjoy time with them was and is all we want. Not just during the holidays, but every day.

Today is more than just Tony’s birthday but another day we get to be together. Which means every day is a day to celebrate.

He will continue his biweekly immunotherapy treatments and scan again in 2-3 months. Our journey the next few months is to get him healthy so we can get back to living.

If you haven’t already, be sure to send him a birthday shout out! He loves hearing from all of you. 🙏

🤟🏻 Stacey and Tony

06/10/2024

This morning was the Especially for you 1 mile and 5k fundraiser that I had the privilege of participating in again thanks to my amazing, long time friend Tina Puetz and her workplace for sponsoring a team as they have in the past.

It was humbling to say the least the amount of people that showed up, donated, walked, ran, volunteered, cheered or simply just showed up to soak up some of the morning’s energy. This year the numbers registered were greater then last year creeping close to 17,000…YES…1.7.0.0.0 people that have either had breast cancer and are survivors, families and friends of those this terrible disease took from them, those still fighting it today and anyone who knows/knew someone with breast cancer or any cancer. 17,000.

I would love to say that this number decreases every year, however it continues to grow. My hope is that the number of survivors is great then the numbers that aren’t. I don’t have those statistics but I fear that is not the case.

However, what I saw today wasn’t disparity or sadness but I saw a sea of hope.

Hope that science can figure this out.
Hope that treatments will evolve and we WILL have more survivors.
Hope for continued early diagnosis.
Hope that there is a tomorrow to keep fighting. Beautiful, simple, hope.

As I lined up and found my bubble in the group of runners, my heart was overwhelmed by gratitude and pain all wrapped into one overflowing heart. I fought back tears as I was humbled by the bravery of anyone who has walked a mile or longer in cancers shoes. If you look around, some you can tell they’ve been fighting and others you may not even know. But they all showed up today in lilac and pink printed everything fighting their battles side by side. And for those that couldn’t be there, there stood families, friends, and coworkers fighting for them.

Today, I ran. I haven’t ran consistently for a long time. Mostly just walk runs but this morning felt different. I felt propelled by the breath of those not with us and those who are on this journey. And when my hip hurt or I was out of breath, I dug deep because if you have cancer you don’t get to stop and breathe. You are engulfed in it day in and day out. Even as a survivor, you still worry, what if it comes back.

Cancer does not pause when you feel like s**t and your body aches for balance.
Cancer does not care how you feel. It feeds on negativity that you may give in.

But don’t.
You can’t.
You must keep going.
Even when it hurts.
Even when you feel like death is just around the corner.
Hold onto hope.
Hope…will give you strength to keep putting one foot in front of the other.
Simple. Beautiful. Hope. 💗

As I neared the finish line and I took only a few walking breaks I felt the energy of those in my life that are fighting or lost their fight. Not just breast cancer but cancer in general.

My husband.
My dad.
My mom. Not once but 3x.
My sister.
My sister in law.
My husband’s best friend.
My friend’s mom and dad.
There are so many.

I ran today and paused when I needed to but kept putting one foot in front of the other.

I did it for my people.
I did it for your people.
I did it for hope.

Cancer. You think it won’t happen to you or someone close to you. But it will and it does. And when that day comes, remember to keep fighting even when it’s scary and hard and horrible.

Pause.
Take a breath.
Keep fighting.
And hold onto hope.
Simple. Beautiful. Hope.

This morning was a good morning. Let’s remember to always keep fighting for hope together. 💗👊🏻✌🏻💗

~Stacey

12/06/2024

Hello everyone! Yep, Tony here! I need to reach out and let everyone know a couple things from this past week and my life the past 6 years….

In my past, before Stacey, my kids were my rocks, my anchor point. That hasn’t really changed but life or our vision of life changes. My 2 oldest flew the nest to pursue their lives and are doing incredibly well! Wyatt in Chicago working at Rose Mary’s a very up scale restaurant, which I highly recommend. He is chasing his dreams and I couldn’t be prouder of him for that. My daughter, Olivia is a manager at the new Single Speed in Des Moines. This is a brewery which again she busts her butt and does very well managing at least 20 people and keeping the place together with events and the like! For being as young as she is and managing, that’s a special person. Stop in if you are ever there, food and beer are amazing!! And my youngest, Gabe. He is out on his own, taking the route I pursued back in the day and is in his second year as an electrical apprentice with Local 405 in Cedar Rapids. Again, proud to see him striving out on his own. His relationship with me is so different than my other 2, but he is my mini me. All 3 of my kiddos are special and I miss times we shared years ago. When my first cancer go around hit with treatments, my kids and my mom were my anchor, my rocks, my help. Wyatt and Liv were already out pursuing there dreams and college, mom accompanied me to each treatment and Gabe, well that kid watched over me like a hawk when things got harsh from the treatments. He definitely grew up in a hurry from that. Everyone likes to see their kids do well in life but I have to brag, even being from a divorced situation, we, the kids’ mom and I, worked together to raise and teach all the core values of being great individuals! My kids are my life, my everything! Didn’t know that love can be so grand and to say I am proud of each of them is an understatement. Words cannot express my feelings!

Now jump ahead to my jaw reconstruction and this woman from my past enters my life, again. I never knew that you can love someone like I do her….my kids I love unconditionally but her, it is a love that has no definition. I’m here today because of her. Looking back to last week, I just kept trudging forward but she put her foot down last Thursday. I cannot say thank you enough for her knowing I was in trouble, because I just thought it was part of the process of the chemo from my past experience. That day was one of my best friends funeral’s and I really, truly feel everything happened on that day because of his guidance and Stacey loving me and understanding me.

Love has sooo many different definitions, and I thought I understood and knew that definition but…..then Stacey. Again, I cannot put into words my feelings for her. She has stood by me from day one. Even before she moved back, I had that difficult conversation once we knew the cancer was back and told her she didn’t have to be with me, she didn’t have to move back. She never batted an eye or hesitated. If I remember right, she got mad and was upset that we were even having that conversation. Again, part of love that has no words.

People, I have learned in my short life that things in life change, switch, stop, grow, continue and progress whether you want them to or not. The things I do know…..my rocks. They may have changed or evolved, grown or been replaced, but they are my foundation. My family, Vic and his wife, my parents, my kids, and Stacey. My foundation that is a base for growth and development. I’m not going anywhere and will fight for everything until my last breath, you can believe that. I’m not incredible, just a man that is trying to live his life, even through these imperfections. My base helps me with those imperfections.

Moral of my story……build your foundation and keep it solid. Even if something happens to one of those “rocks”, either fix the issue or replace it. Nothing is forever. Live now, don’t wait….let those know your feelings and talk to them regularly. This “I don’t have time”……well we all are on these phones and can take 20 seconds to send a message. Like Stacey said, tomorrow is not a guarantee, ever!

All my friends that have followed us, the prayers, thoughts, all of that feed the universe and we gladly take them. I’m hopeful we have great messages moving forward and not scary ones. I love each and everyone but most importantly…..my rocks I love so much. If you are married, give your significant other a squeeze. Stacey, can’t imagine my life right now without you….. I. Love. You. Wife!

Address

52236

Website

facebook.com

Alerts

Be the first to know and let us send you an email when Coaching Through Cancer posts news and promotions. Your email address will not be used for any other purpose, and you can unsubscribe at any time.

Coaching Through Cancer