PLEDGEtalk

10/24/2026

👂 Mark tells about a listening exercise in a counseling course. Five minutes in, he was in tears — not because of what he said, but because of how the other person listened. Her eyes, her posture, her questions all said: you matter.

He still remembers it ten years later.

That's the part most of us miss. Listening well isn't a technique you run. It's one of the most direct ways a person ever feels loved.

Read the full post: https://pledgetalk.com/connecting-with-others/

Free 6-step roadmap for your next hard conversation → https://roadmap.pledgetalk.com

10/21/2026

🔬 Couples argue. That by itself predicts almost nothing.

What Gottman's four decades of research found is that the strongest single predictor of divorce is contempt — eye-rolling, mockery, the tone that says "I'm above you." Criticism attacks the problem. Contempt attacks the person.

And the antidote isn't better arguing. It's rebuilding fondness and respect on the ordinary days, so respect is already in the room before the hard talk starts.

Source: The Gottman Institute, on contempt and the Four Horsemen.

The full Roadmap video course walks through all six steps — $47 at https://go.pledgetalk.com

10/17/2026

🧠 Mark lists five ways we quit listening early: jumping to conclusions, getting defensive, assuming we know where it's going, interrupting with our own idea, or simply being more interested in what we want to say.

Read that list again and one of them will feel a little too familiar.

Which one is yours? Tell us in the comments — naming it is most of the work.

10/14/2026

🗒️ "Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry." (James 1:19)

It's quoted often and practiced rarely, because in a tense moment the reply is already loaded before the other person finishes.

The first step of PLEDGEtalk is simply Pause. Not go quiet, not swallow it — pause long enough that what comes out next is a choice instead of a reflex.

One action step: the next time your chest tightens mid-conversation, count to three before you answer. That's it. Three seconds is usually the whole difference between a conversation and a fight.

Free 6-step roadmap for your next hard conversation → https://roadmap.pledgetalk.com

10/09/2026

Tonight. Doors open at 5:30, we start promptly at 6:00.

Bring your spouse, something to write with, and one conversation you wish had gone differently. We'll take it from there.

Not registered yet? Walk-ins are welcome — just come. Or register ahead: https://welcome2hope.churchcenter.com/registrations/events/3813377

10/09/2026

Tomorrow night. Marriage Matters Weekend · Fri Oct 9, doors 5:30pm, we start promptly at 6:00 · Sat Oct 10, doors 8:30am, start 9:00am · The Barn, Hope Community Church, 1831 E. 21st St, Andover.

$50 per person. Register tonight so we can set the room — and walk-ins are welcome too: https://welcome2hope.churchcenter.com/registrations/events/3813377

10/08/2026

Two days out. "I help you know what to say when communication really matters."

Friday evening and Saturday morning at The Barn in Andover. Refreshments, real practice, and something you'll take home and use.

$50 per person · childcare free, a few spots left · https://welcome2hope.churchcenter.com/registrations/events/3813377

10/07/2026

Three days. If you're anywhere near Andover or Wichita, this is the one to bring your spouse to.

And if the weekend leaves you wanting more, small group book studies at Hope will be launching soon.

Fri Oct 9 + Sat Oct 10 · $50 per person · https://welcome2hope.churchcenter.com/registrations/events/3813377

10/06/2026

Four days out. When voices rise, you need a gameplan that keeps you on the same team.

Mark will coach you through it in person, October 9–10 in Andover.

$50 per person · free childcare, limited spots · https://welcome2hope.churchcenter.com/registrations/events/3813377

10/04/2026