Power Up Coach

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Power Up Coach Published Author | Self-Leadership & Relationship Coach | Most people don’t need better communication, they need clarity. Text: (509) 800-7264

I am a self-leadership and relationship coach specializing in coaching individuals who are feeling stuck, misunderstood, or disconnected in their relationships—whether with themselves, a partner, family, or at work—helping them lead with clarity, confidence, and emotional strength from the inside out. If you’re ready to feel more grounded, connected, and in charge of your next chapter, let’s work together.

Have you ever looked back at something and thought:“How did I not see it?”Maybe it was a relationship you stayed in too ...
05/09/2026

Have you ever looked back at something and thought:
“How did I not see it?”

Maybe it was a relationship you stayed in too long. A job you wish you'd left sooner. Someone you trusted. A decision you would never make today.

From where you're standing now, the answer can seem obvious.

Except you're not standing where you were then.

You have information now that you didn't have. You've seen what happened next. You've experienced the consequences. You may understand yourself or the other person differently.

And without realizing it, you can take everything you know today and place it into the hands of the person you were back then.

Then judge that person for not knowing it.

This isn't about pretending you made perfect choices. Maybe there were things you ignored. Maybe fear influenced you. Maybe you genuinely made a poor decision.

There's still something to learn from that.

The question is simply more accurate:
What did I actually know then?

You can learn from who you were without requiring that person to have known everything you know today.

Have you ever researched something until you realized you weren’t learning anything new anymore?Maybe it was a decision....
03/09/2026

Have you ever researched something until you realized you weren’t learning anything new anymore?

Maybe it was a decision.
A relationship.
Something someone said.
An upcoming conversation.

At first, the thinking was useful.
You were gathering information and considering what you knew.

Then something changed.

You already had the available information, yet you kept going back.

One more search.
One more opinion.
One more replay.
One more scenario.

At that point, you may no longer be looking for information.
You may be trying to reach a place where nothing is unknown.

That’s an impossible standard for most of life.

There’s a big difference between
“I need more information before I decide”
and
“I need to know how this will turn out before I decide.”

The first can often be solved.

The second asks today to provide information that may not exist until tomorrow.

There are problems we can think our way through.We can gather information, consider consequences, compare options, ask q...
02/09/2026

There are problems we can think our way through.

We can gather information, consider consequences, compare options, ask questions, and make a thoughtful decision.

Then there are moments when we've already done all of that... and we're still thinking.

Another conversation.
Another opinion.
Another Google search.
Another replay of what happened.
Another imaginary version of what might happen.

That's when I become curious about what we're actually asking all that thinking to do.

Maybe we're no longer looking for information.

Maybe we're hoping we'll eventually think enough to feel completely certain, completely confident, or completely safe about what happens next.

And sometimes that guarantee simply isn't available yet.

A useful question in those moments:
What are you hoping all this thinking will give you?

The answer can tell you a lot about why the thinking hasn't stopped.

Have you ever thought about something for so long that you eventually realized you weren't getting any closer to an answ...
01/09/2026

Have you ever thought about something for so long that you eventually realized you weren't getting any closer to an answer?

That's worth noticing.

Sometimes we keep thinking because there really is something left to figure out.

Other times, we've quietly changed the assignment.

We're no longer asking thought to help us make a decision.
We're asking it to make us certain the decision will work out.
We're not trying to understand a conversation anymore.
We're trying to know exactly what another person meant.
We're not preparing for what could happen.
We're trying to know what will happen.

That's when thinking can become a loop.
The mind keeps working because we've given it a problem with no definitive answer.

The question I like here isn't: How do I stop overthinking?

It's: What are you hoping all this thinking will give you?

The answer may tell you far more than another hour of thinking about the original problem.

Have you ever reached the end of dinner, a conversation, a drive, or even an entire evening and realized you weren't rea...
31/08/2026

Have you ever reached the end of dinner, a conversation, a drive, or even an entire evening and realized you weren't really there for much of it?

You were physically there.
Your attention wasn't.

Maybe you were replaying something someone said earlier.
Thinking about what needs to happen tomorrow.
Rehearsing a conversation that hasn't happened.
Trying to figure out something you simply don't have enough information to know yet.

There's nothing unusual about the mind wandering.
The interesting part is noticing where it keeps taking us.

Because sometimes we're waiting for life to become calmer so we can finally enjoy it, while overlooking moments that were already okay.

You don't have to force yourself back into the present every time your mind wanders.

Start by noticing:
What keeps pulling you away from what's happening right now?

Have you ever kept thinking about something because you were convinced there had to be an answer if you thought about it...
30/08/2026

Have you ever kept thinking about something because you were convinced there had to be an answer if you thought about it long enough?

Sometimes there is.

You remember something you overlooked.
You gather more facts.
You have a conversation.
You realize there’s an action you can take.

Other times, you’ve reached the edge of the information currently available.

You don’t know how someone will respond because you haven’t talked to them yet.

You don’t know how the decision will turn out because you haven’t made it yet.

You don’t know what will happen next month because next month hasn’t happened.

And thinking harder can’t produce information that only time, action, or another person can provide.

That’s when these two questions become useful:
What do you actually know right now?
What are you trying to know that you can’t know yet?

There’s a big difference between needing more information and demanding information that isn’t available yet.

What if being hard on yourself isn’t actually helping you learn?Sometimes we replay a mistake because we believe the pai...
30/08/2026

What if being hard on yourself isn’t actually helping you learn?

Sometimes we replay a mistake because we believe the pain will keep us from making it again.

But think about touching a hot stove.

You don’t need to burn your hand every morning to remember that it’s hot.

The lesson stayed.

Maybe the same is true of something you’ve been carrying.

You Don’t Have to Keep Punishing Yourself to Prove You Learned the Lesson

My newest blog explores the difference between accountability and self-punishment, and what it means to keep the wisdom without continuing the hurt.

Sometimes we become so good at explaining ourselves that we stop noticing we're also repeating ourselves.We know why we ...
29/08/2026

Sometimes we become so good at explaining ourselves that we stop noticing we're also repeating ourselves.

We know why we don't trust.
Why we avoid certain conversations.
Why we second-guess ourselves.
Why we react the way we do.

And those explanations may be completely legitimate.

The interesting question is what we're doing with that information.

There is a difference between understanding how the past shaped a pattern and allowing that pattern to keep choosing our direction.

You don't need to rewrite your history to choose differently today.

Your past gets to be part of your story.
It doesn't automatically get the steering wheel.

One of the hardest things about communication is that we rarely enter a conversation with a completely blank slate.We br...
28/08/2026

One of the hardest things about communication is that we rarely enter a conversation with a completely blank slate.

We bring history.

Past arguments.
Old disappointments.
Expectations.
Assumptions.
Conclusions we’ve already formed about who the other person is and what they probably mean.

Then they say something simple... and we hear it through all of that.

Sometimes we aren’t responding to what was actually said.
We’re responding to what our mind believes the words mean based on everything that came before.

That doesn’t mean history should be ignored, or condoned..

It means history and the present conversation aren’t always the same thing.

Before reacting, it can help to separate two things:
What did they actually say?
What did I hear because of what I already believe about them?

That little bit of space can change an entire conversation.

Your mind repeats what it fears, values, or hasn’t resolved.That explains why certain thoughts keep returning. It doesn’...
27/08/2026

Your mind repeats what it fears, values, or hasn’t resolved.

That explains why certain thoughts keep returning. It doesn’t mean every returning thought deserves your attention.

We often assume:
If I keep thinking about it, it must mean something.

Maybe.

Or maybe your mind has simply become very practiced at returning there.

A thought can be repetitive without being true.
Persistent without being important.
Familiar without being useful.

You don’t have to solve every thought your mind repeats. Sometimes noticing the repetition is enough to stop automatically following it.

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