05/21/2026
This experience has been one of the most emotional and vulnerable seasons of my life.
There have been a lot of tears.
A lot of fear.
A lot of unknowns.
And yet… underneath all of it, I’m noticing something unexpected happening within me too.
I’m realizing how much of my life I spent believing my needs were “too much.”
Believing I had to hold everything together myself.
Believing support was temporary or conditional.
But this experience is showing me something different.
My husband has been loving me through this in ways my nervous system is still learning how to fully receive.
He’s helping.
Supporting.
Showing up.
Planning to spend as much time at the hospital with me as possible when I’m admitted.
And while that may sound normal to some people… for others, healing and reprogramming old beliefs is learning that safe love actually exists.
But it hasn’t just been him.
Our friends and family have been showing up for us without hesitation.
Checking in.
Offering help.
Making sure we’re okay.
Helping us prepare.
Making us meals.
Loving us in ways that honestly make me emotional to even think about. (Lots of tears have been shed over the love and support when I think about it in my own private moments.)
And maybe one of the biggest lessons in all of this has been allowing myself to receive it.
Not rushing to “pay it back.”
Not immediately feeling responsible for earning it.
Not feeling guilty for needing support.
Just… receiving love. It’s not something I’ve been great at in my past because I often believed my needs didn’t matter growing up. It’s something I work on daily.
This whole experience has felt like one giant lesson in surrender.
Not just surrendering to the situation itself…
but surrendering to being cared for.
It’s still scary.
There are still risks.
There are still moments where my mind spirals into fear and uncertainty.
But I’m also seeing beauty in the middle of it.
I’m seeing healing happen in real time.
And honestly… my CALM subliminal has been such an anchor for me through all of this. Especially during the moments my mind starts spiraling into fear or overwhelm.
If you want it too, comment CALM and I’ll send it to you for free. 🤍