11/17/2025
I remember sitting with a coach one day who was helping me through a challenge. I started to explore this whole situation and asked myself, “Why is this so hard for me?” The coach asked me, “What kind of answer do you think you’ll get with that type of question?”
I paused for a second and realized what I was doing. The focus of my question was giving power to the challenge, not me. Even if I answered the question, I was giving up control.
Instead, she said, ask yourself a question that empowers you. I couldn’t think of one so she presented this, “What’s actually in your control right now?”
That day I learned two things:
1. Focusing on what I have control over gives me back my power over the challenge. If it’s out of my control, it’s out of my concern.
2. The only things I have control over is the way I THINK, TALK, and ACT.
So moving forward, I reminded myself of these two things. Every time I’d start to ask myself unhelpful questions, I’d stop and reframe them.
My “Why is this so hard for me?” became “What do I have control over?”
“What’s wrong with me?” became “What perspective am I telling myself here?”
These questions change your entire internal environment. They expand you instead of shrinking you. And they move you forward instead of keeping you in loops.
Take note of the types of perspectives and questions you’re giving power to this week.
