11/19/2021
Trigger⚠️
I’ve tried countless times, each time it backfired
It’s like putting gasoline on a wild fire
It grows out of control
The issues I had always went under the table because I wore them well mainly because I was putting on a front as a Coach and Athlete
Deep down I was suffering
🚩I turned to physical exercise and/or any physical challenge and “watching what I ate” to “cure” my issues
🚩Feeling bad about indulging in food I would eat less the days after
🚩Feeling insecure about losing a starting position, I turned to doing “extra” workouts
🚩Feeling insecure about being left in a relationship, I turned to staying at the gym for hours & hours
🚩Feeling insecure about my physical appearance, I turned to dieting & over exercising
🚩Feeling insecure about my body & confidence after retiring from college ball, I turned to CrossFit & eventually competing
🚩Feeling insecure of my body getting to its heaviest after recovering Post shoulder surgery, I turned to signing up for a Half Ironman
For years there was an image I was chasing
But this “image” was from a place of shame, guilt, & disgust
So I continued to chase until I became exhausted, unhappy, burnt out, injured, & resentful
Little did I know then how I was “coping” (using exercise or dieting) with my insecurities was sending my body into a complete nervous system spiral
And because our bodies keep score, certain types of exercise sends my body into a trauma response
Since giving up the chase I’ve learned two things
1️⃣ You can’t shame, guilt or hate yourself into achieving ANY goal
2️⃣ You can’t change any struggle/problem without getting to the root and the root of every cause is what’s going on between the ears
If you do have physical goals, I encourage you to get more curious about them, are they coming from a place of love or shame/guilt/hate?
This is my Platform - My mission is to empower more women like me to finally find a place of harmony with theirselves & their bodies ❤️