My journey started about 2 in a half years ago. I had always lived an active lifestyle while competing in dance and gymnastics, and sports. I had a boyfriend in high school. We were comfortable with each other and didn't feel we needed to look any better than we looked at that time. We ate whatever we wanted, and didn't exercise outside of sports. But It was when I hit college that I went wild wit
h eating and drinking, I thought my body was Invincible. I broke it off with my boyfriend. And I became the "party girl" everyone knew. If anyone wanted to go out and party and drink they knew they could call me. I would find an excuse to drink and party with friends just about every day. partying would then provoke binge eating in the middle of the night. The next morning I felt awful, and would then go eat an unhealthy meal to feel better. I wouldn't actually feel better it would just make me feel better for that moment and then I would be useless and lazy all day. I would waste an entire day because I had no Drive to do anything else but sleep a hangover off. I would eventually feel better at the end of night but only just to start round two and go to another party with friends. I would do this every chance I got because to me "I was living the college life" everyone does it, it's the normal thing to do, right? If I said no to a party, friends would think something was wrong or i was mad at them. As I look back now being looked at as "the party girl" was not a very uplifting feeling. I had lots of friends yes but none of them took me seriously. I had wasted so many hours, days, weeks, and months of opportunities that I could have been taking advantage of to better myself. I don't want others to have to look back and have the regret that I did. It wasn't necessarily the regret of not being 100% into fitness that I regretted the most, it was the fact that I had been putting my body through such unhealthy habits, friendships, filtered through relationships. I was tired of thinking I had to starve myself to not "feel fat" or that I could just go run 5 miles and then that would make it ok to go out and party that night. I would eat these terrible foods while partying and then be so negative on myself the next day. I would stand in front of the mirror every morning after a night of drinking and pick apart my body and would always pick the negatives out. I could never find anything positive to say about my appearance. I was tired of feeling this way. I knew this was not a healthy mindset to have. I had probably only gained about 10-12 pounds but It felt like 50. I would weigh myself every chance I saw a scale. I would try crash diets. Some worked as it appeared but I was only harming my body even more. I decided I was tired of feeling this way. I didn't want to be the party girl anymore. I wanted to feel comfortable in my own skin, I wanted to be productive throughout my days, I wanted to feel healthy and live a healthy lifestyle. I decided it was time for a change. I told myself it was time to start fulfilling my full potential. I wanted something to be proud of. This is when I found weightlifting. I made exercising a priority. I began to try new things in the gym, research proper diet and nutrition, asked questions. I was so determined in that very moment to stop partying, late night eating, filling my body with toxins, etc. that it didn't matter how long it was going to take I was going to be better. I was going to change. Throughout my journey my most powerful transformation would have to be my mindset. I can now look in a mirror and feel comfortable in my own skin, I can stand there with confidence and be proud of the person I have transformed to be: mentally and physically.
