01/26/2022
After a spectacular season, my Buffalo Bills fell short of their Championship goal. So many amazing moments and accomplishments throughout the season and in the playoffs, it is not a complete failure. But as an athlete, how do you handle such a devastating loss?
I imagine the players and coaches in Buffalo will do something like this and S.E.E. their way through it.
S - Separate from the emotion and not act out in anger, sadness, or frustration. Emotions after a mistake or when the season abruptly ends are going to be high and irrational, as they should be. When we are in this emotional state we are not capable of making good decisions about the future (or even the present moment). Be mindful and observe what is as it is: your feelings, the thoughts you are having, your urges. Be sure you are connected but distant from them. Observing them and not acting from them. Then …
E - Embrace them. This is the opposite of what we often try to do, which is to push them aside, stuff them and quickly move on with false acceptance like “well it is what it is, you gotta move on.” Yes, eventually, but not right away. Embrace the emotions and make space for the reality of your disappointment. Your pain is the other side of the love and care you have for the game, your teammates and the outcome. This should hurt. Your pain respects the work you put in and it is valid. Only then can you …
E - Evaluate what to do next. The season is done and after you have allowed yourself to process it by Separation and then Embracing, you will find a space will open up inside you where your values are clear. Self-compassion for your pain will provide comfort and clear thinking for you to decide what to do next based on your goals and what is important to you. You will be able to do this with a clear mind and positive motivation for the future.
It is through acceptance of the failure that you can learn from it, move through it, and be better because of it.
And this is what I expect the Bills will do over the next few weeks. Feel the pain of the disappointment. Recognize the growth and improvements they had this season as individuals and a team. Identify where they can be better to move them closer to a Super Bowl Championship and work diligently at that.
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