Fitting Right In

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Fitting Right In Helping you reclaim your self-worth
set healthy boundaries & assert yourself
by reframing normal yet unhealthy family dynamics
Free Boundary Scripts ↓
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If you look closely, none of these:- accuse (“you never…”)- mind-read (“you don’t care…”)- or demandThey invite. And tha...
23/05/2026

If you look closely, none of these:

- accuse (“you never…”)
- mind-read (“you don’t care…”)
- or demand

They invite. And that’s the whole point of sharing your needs; it's not a demand, it's a way to invite your partner to meet you.

If you didn't grow up in an environment where this language was modeled, it's important to learn how to communicate with your partner so it's safe for them to move toward you rather than defend themselves.

21/05/2026

Who are you meant to be?

I recently thought about this, and if you struggle with setting boundaries this for you:

when we struggle to set boundaries healing often means becoming the person we needed in the past.

Someone who sees you, who hears you, and has your back.

Drop a ♥️ if this resonated with you

20/05/2026

Does this make sense to you? Drop a ❤️ if it does.

19/05/2026

Believe me I’m holding your hand while saying this 👭

19/05/2026

How did hearing this make you feel?

Setting boundaries when done right feels liberating. There might be guilt that comes up (it surely did for me), but with...
18/05/2026

Setting boundaries when done right feels liberating. There might be guilt that comes up (it surely did for me), but with the right community and the right people in your corner, it's nothing you can't handle.

Let's come together here and share boundaries we've set that help our emotional health as people who are sensitive and tend to please others while abandoning ourselves.

What boundaries can you share with us to empower and inspire others to do the same? Comment below.

And if you feel stuck in a situation or relationship and don't know what boundaries to set, or worry that you're too much. Know you can have me in your corner, helping you with your exact situation. Head to the link in my bio and see if my custom boundary scripts are still available (limited quantity).

There is no universal boundary rulebook.I know that is not what most people want to hear. We want someone to just tell u...
15/05/2026

There is no universal boundary rulebook.

I know that is not what most people want to hear. We want someone to just tell us what to say, where our limits should be, what is okay and what is not. And honestly I get that. When you are just starting out the uncertainty of figuring it out yourself feels overwhelming.

But the boundaries that actually stick, the ones that do not leave you second guessing yourself for days, are the ones you built yourself. From your own values. Your own needs. Your own sense of the kind of person you want to be and the kind of relationships you actually want to have.

Something shifts when you start setting boundaries from a place of compassion and love rather than frustration and resentment. When you are genuinely trying to create something sustainable and healthy rather than just protecting yourself from being hurt again. You stop needing the other person's reaction to tell you whether you did the right thing. You already know why you set it. You set it because it was true and because it was necessary and because it was the kind thing to do for both of you.

That is when you can sit in the uncertainty of not knowing how the next interaction will go. Not because you do not care. But because you trust yourself enough to handle whatever comes.

We are not all there yet. I am not always there either. But it is possible and I want you to know that.

Where are you in this right now? Tell me in the comments.

Want 77 free boundary scripts for free, or work with me and others toward better boundaries? Head to the link in my bio to find both :)

I don't know why we're often told to make an exception for family. It's confusing because, in my mind, shouldn't we keep...
05/05/2026

I don't know why we're often told to make an exception for family. It's confusing because, in my mind, shouldn't we keep a higher standard with family? Shouldn't our family be our safest place, where we can unapologetically be ourselves and feel supported?

Sadly, our culture and society often don't support this view. Instead, they send us messages like "You only have one family," which may be accurate but is usually used to get someone to ignore dysfunction and hurtful behavior.

Drop a ❤️ if you grew up having to:
- Move on and pretend like nothing happened
- Stay silent when things need to be addressed
- Always be the bigger person
- Walk on eggshells because someone couldn't manage their emotions
- Please the person with the most dysfunction to keep the peace

If, for whatever reason, you can't have contact with your family or can only see them for short periods of time, know that you are not alone. There is no shame in protecting your well-being, even with family. 🧡

I hope this post reminds you that you are allowed to take care of yourself, no matter what that looks like, and not to judge others who have to distance themselves from their family. They have enough pain through that already. 🤍

If this resonated, comment SCRIPTS below, and I will send you 77 free boundary scripts straight to your DMs — for every moment you know what you need to say and the words just disappear. 🤍

If I had to rank the skills that made the biggest impact in my recovery from people-pleasing, this one would make the to...
25/04/2026

If I had to rank the skills that made the biggest impact in my recovery from people-pleasing, this one would make the top three for sure! You may underestimate it or not believe me, but I'd be shocked to learn that other recovering people-pleasers don't feel the same (let me know in the caption if you do).

Learning that two things can be true at the same time changed me. It changed the way I think, it changed the way I feel, and it lifted a huge burden off me I didn't even know I was carrying.

My world prior to my recovery journey from people-pleasing was pretty black and white, and I didn't even realize it. I thought I always had to help, I always had to be available, and that declining an invitation or a request for help would make me a bad friend, colleague, or family member. And in the eyes of many of my family members and friends, this was true.

And while we can't change what other people think or the standards they judge us by, we can decide what we believe is true and act accordingly, dampening the effect of others' judgments.

And that's what happened for me when I realized: two things can be true at once. The world isn't divided into black and white.

Not attending one of your family's dinners doesn't make you a bad family member. You can be a loving, supportive, and genuinely kind family member without attending all of their events. Because you have your own life, your own goals, and unfortunately (as every human) a limited reserve of time, energy, and money.

Not watching your friend's dog doesn't make you a bad friend. Again, you can be generous, loving, supportive, and kind, and still not want to take on that responsibility. It's okay to say no, and to not beat yourself up about it. It's okay to say no and not paint yourself the villain.

I invite you to think about situations in your life, where you're quick to condemn yourself (or others) because you let one situation, one moment, define you. Take a moment to reflect, and see what else might be true in that moment, and watch that guilt, shame, and hardship melt away. I highly recommend it.

Repeat after me: Just because I feel their pain doesn't mean I'll be the one carrying it.I am a deeply feeling person. I...
23/04/2026

Repeat after me: Just because I feel their pain doesn't mean I'll be the one carrying it.

I am a deeply feeling person. I've always been on the more sensitive side. I love being someone with emotional depth. I see beauty in the most mundane things. Sometimes just seeing a beautiful landscape makes me tear up. If you're like me, then you feel A LOT.

What this also means is that I'm quick to absorb someone else's pain, and before I build up a tolerance for the discomfort that brings, I was always quick to step in. I was quick to soothe, help, fix, and take over. Because I wanted that pain to stop.

What I didn't realize is that I was overstepping. I was ignoring someone else's independence and autonomy, and took over.

Some people (the more emotionally immature ones) expect us to do this; they believe it's our job to help them no matter what. Even when they repeatedly put themselves in the same situation, even when it's clear that continuously saving them is draining us (emotionally, mentally, physically, financially).

And then there are the more emotionally mature ones, to whom my need to fix the situation, my inability to sit with them in their pain, made them feel more alone. Because they don't need me to take over, to fix, and to abandon myself to put out all their fires. They want me to sit with them, hold their hand, and be their crutch as they rise to the challenge and overcome their situation on their own (with us by their side).

As deeply feeling people-pleasers, we believe it's our job to save people from their pain, but what we don't realize is that it's not healthy; it's enabling dysfunction. If you're a deeply feeling people-pleaser like me, take a moment to recognize how important it is to learn two important skills: 1: not letting other people's pain become our own, but creating emotional distance between what's ours and what's theirs, and 2: knowing the difference between lending support and enabling someone's emotional dependence on us.

I feel like I just wrote my heart out. Let me know if this landed with you, if this caption reached you, and what it brought up for you, if anything.

Being nice, always available, and quick to say yes even when you want to say no didn't work out for me. I actually have ...
21/04/2026

Being nice, always available, and quick to say yes even when you want to say no didn't work out for me. I actually have yet to meet someone for whom this strategy doesn't lead to exhaustion, resentment, gossip, and lying to get out of things.

In an ideal world, I would agree that always making the time and effort to help, support, and be there for others, but that's not how real life is. We don't have unlimited energy, time, money, or capacity. Everyone needs time to recharge, to rest, and to create the life they want to live. Because there is only one life each of us gets, it's up to us how we want to live it.

I, for one, don't want to always be exhausted, to dread upcoming events I didn't want to attend in the first place, and to constantly live in fear that someone will ask me to do something I don't want to do (but am too afraid to decline). I don't want to spend all my energy on others; I want to reserve some for myself, for my dreams, for my goals, and for my pleasure.

I know I am a generous, kind, loving, fun, and gentle friend, and yet I won't always be available, I will ask things of you, I will disappoint you at times, but that's ok. That's life. I offer the same to others; it's ok for me to get disappointed from time to time, to be let down, to have to wait, or find another solution. That's what a relationship is (for me). And you can build this too.

I'm curious: Can you relate to what I'm saying? Where are you in your journey of taking up space and building more balanced relationships rather than always people-pleasing? Let me know in the comments below. I would love to know. I read every comment, genuinely.

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