07/16/2026
It’s been 3 days since I said goodbye to my best friend.
Ed has been my closest confidant and most beloved companion for over 17 years.
I’ve stewarded many beloved furbabies in my life, but only one dog ~ turned velveteen rabbit ~ who I was fully responsible for.
I grew up with just cats and I thought I was a cat person, and if you know me, I am.
But Ed, he changed me.
I always wanted to be a mom, since I was old enough to say it. I deeply, truly, madly desired to birth children (I have yet to).
Though, never before I fully could stand inside myself as a whole being, one that didn’t seek to fill holes inside myself through another.
Ed burrowed into that space and birthed the version of me who would selflessly caretake another for the sheer love and joy of it.
We chose each other…..
He taught me to trust myself. To tune out to tune in.
He reminded me of play and movement and the simplicity of just being without agenda.
He taught me sooooo much about clear communication and boundaries.
I feel so very sad and life is very different than it was just a few days ago.
And I feel so very blessed for our time together and that he trusted me to walk him Home when the time came.
I prayed that he would go in his sleep as Luna held vigil over him, purring the pain into the background.
There are not words to adequately express all that I’m feeling, but this touches on it.
Rest easy, sweet baby bear.
I love you to eternity and feel you even more now as we find this new rhythm together, you guiding me now.
RIP Edward 3/29/2009 to 7/13/2026 ❤️