08/21/2026
When the gulf between you and someone you love feels impossibly wide, how do you stay in relationship with them?
I hold my hand flat, palm facing up.
This is how I think about relationships. Open. Not gripping. Not closed.
If someone wants to leave, my hand doesn't close around them to keep them. And if they want to stay, my hand is right here.
The open hand isn't weakness. It's the only position that leaves room for both of you to choose freely.
Because gripping looks like checking their Facebook. Posting things you hope they'll see. Rehearsing arguments at two in the morning that you're finally winning in your head.
All of that is a closed fist. And a closed fist around someone who isn't there exhausts you without moving anything forward.
Watch the full episode: https://youtu.be/E0_xFwOlgPY
Listen on your favorite podcast app: https://grapevinewellnessshow.transistor.fm/episodes/between-sessions-when-the-person-youre-grieving-is-still-alive