Karis Coaching & Counseling Center

05/22/2014

Fowlers Moving to North Central Long Island! PLEASE SHARE WITH “FRIENDS":

Raised Ranch for Sale in Ridge (South Lake Panamoka area), NY
3 Bedroom, 3 Bath, Office, 2.5 Car Garage, Finished Basement, a 30’x50’ footprint on ¼ acre. Every room is large. Eat in Kitchen, fireplace, Attic, Private lake rights (1 block away). Washer/dryer, brand new boiler and chimney liner, new oven. Call our agent Richard Fox at 631-275-1385. Listed 5/20/2014. $315,000.

01/24/2014

The Lament Psalms - Breakfast for the Brokenhearted

I think sometimes the issue of God's sovereignty becomes an emotional one as well as an intellectual one. Once we experience deep devastation, such as divorce, r**e, the death of one of our children, etc., it feels like God doesn't care and/or is not sovereign.

In these cases, the Lament Psalms of David provide a guide. In them, you will not find a "fast food faith," but instead the cathartic cry of one who does not have any answers and is struggling to trust God. In fact, when Jesus was on the cross, he quoted Psalm 22:1 as he cried out, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?"

If you are deeply struggling with God's goodness or sovereignty due to a crisis, review David's Lament Psalms. Sometimes David cries out, "How long, O LORD? Will you forget me forever?" (Ps 6 & 13). Sometimes he accuses God of forsaking him (Ps 22). Sometimes David feels like he's drowning (Ps 18 & 69), being pierced by an arrow (Ps 38), or being eaten by ravenous beasts (Ps 57). Sometimes he is suffering the betrayal of a close friend (Ps 41 & 55) and sometimes he argues with his soul to continue trusting God (Ps 42-43). Finally, sometimes faith comes a little bit easier for him (Ps 62), but once in a great while, David writes the entire Psalm without finding faith at all (Ps 88, "The Dark Night of the Soul").

Why not read these Lament Psalms? Maybe even try writing one of your own. They can be like a "Breakfast for the Brokenhearted."

01/18/2014

Had eye appointment yesterday and the bottom line is the eye surgeon cannot do anything for me. The double vision (past 10 feet) was supposed to go away on its own. I am now in the 1% where that does not happen.

I have to start driving and get back to work on-site. I am giving it 4 more weeks, then I have to return to the Optometrist. They will fit me with glasses that have a "prism" which will correct the double vision. The only problem is that my eyes will get used to the contacts and will not improve, making me permanently dependent upon glasses. I will not be able to wear contacts (without seeing double), and this will definitely impact my martial arts, etc.

Appreciate your prayers in these next 4 weeks. Of course, I will be very disappointed if my eyes don't self correct, but will remain trustful in my God who has blessed me in other ways far more than I deserve. 2 Corinthians 1:3-5.

01/13/2014

Randy's eye update: The 3 month point (Jan 11) has come and gone and I still have double vision past about 10 feet. Today it was as bad as it has ever been. I have a doctor's appointment this Friday and will post another update then. Appreciate your thoughts and prayers. While I am feeling tired of not driving, seeing double, I do continue to be reminded of all the ways I am blessed.

01/10/2014

Check out my website for additional resources

Visit: www.DrRandyFowler.org

01/05/2014

In my counseling ministry, I've often found that an APOLOGY is not that same for a husband as it is for the wife. The guy code is you once the other admits he is wrong, it's over. Thus, when a woman wants more, it feels to him like he's getting "his nose rubbed in the p**p."

However, for the wife to feel secure that you won't make the same mistake again, you need to understand how her feelings were hurt and you won't understand that unless you listen for awhile.

Conversely, when she is apologizing, she goes on explaining WHY she did it, both so you don't think she's a total jerk and also because she's trying to let you know she "gets it." However, a husband just wants to hear "I was wrong." Anything else sounds like an excuse.

This is where I find a lot of tension in conflict in relationships. Husbands, if you want to know how to apologize to your wives thoroughly for big mistakes, see my Power Apology download on this website.

11/30/2013

There are 3 processes after being wounded in a relationship:
Forgiveness: Seen by "remembering the past without anger."
Healing: Seen by "remembering the past without (emotional) pain."
Trust: "The appropriate reliance on the mature love of another."

Trust is earned; forgiveness is not. Forgiveness not only frees the other but frees yourself from bo***ge to resentment, anger, etc. You CAN forgive someone, but choose not to trust them because they don't know how to be "emotionally safe"; in other words, they are abusive. You are not required (but can choose to be) around abusive people, even if it is family (though I am fortunate not to have this in my extended family).

11/30/2013

I am still recovering from double retina surgery. While the recovery is going well, I currently have double vision past about 10 feet. Though the doctors say this is not uncommon, I can't drive for awhile (another 6 weeks?).

09/18/2013

09/18/2013

Put your nose into the Bible everyday. It is your spiritual food. And then share it. Make a vow not to be a lukewarm Christian. -Kirk Cameron

09/18/2013

When people get married because they think it's a long-time love affair, they'll be divorced very soon, because all love affairs end in disappointment. But marriage is a recognition of a spiritual identity. -Joseph Campbell