01/29/2026
Someone somewhere needs to read this... and probably read it again!
12u and 14u is intense! The talent gets better, the competition is real, and it's where many girls start really standing out and their love of the game grows.
This is also when parents get sort of crazy. They start focusing on the future and run their daughter's softball career like a recruiter. The grass is greener and better mentality gets rooted by a lot of people telling you what you NEED to do now so your daughter can be the next starting shortstop at LSU. Things get expensive, parents start side stepping their commitments all in what is in the 'best interest' of their superstar daughter:
They turn their noses down at the local team they're played on for years and are sucked into big promises that come with hefty price tags so their daughter can be one of 18 girls on an organizational team.
Bridges get burned. New ones built, and there is literally always someone in your ear about what your daughter needs to do, etc.
Here's the important part. And this comes from real life experience. About 85% of these 12 and 14u studs don't even finish playing through their 18u eligibility. And of thr 5-10-% that get a jersey to play at the college level - many will not even play. A lot quit after they graduate high school and decide they don't want to play in college. And another large percentage will quit the first year of college..:
Your daughter will change a lot between 12 and 18. Yes, it's understandable to want the best for them and to situate them for the best outcomes. But largely this is mitigated by parents who become so ultra focused that the kids don't feel safe expressing when they change their mind. The love of the game often fades because it's replaced with pressure and stress and massive emotional investments from their loved ones. Meanwhile they are team
Hopping, and spending every free moment of their time preparing my for a future they may not even really want.
Parents have invested a crap ton of money, and many kids feel an obligation that saddles them with a lot of anxiety. The family gets so caught up in the end goal that there is a loss of fulfilling presence during the journey.
And the thing is, once you are in the midst of all that and you've done all the things to get there it's hard to find the courage to admit that it isn't what your daughter wants. After so much grind and burnt bridges how do you admit that maybe it wasn't the right thing?
It's unbelievable how many young players and parents just work to get that 'recruited' status - only to quit after they graduate. Like they just had to prove they could get there. And while the parents are often shocked and in awe- the kid knew all along that they weren't gonna do it.
This happens time and time again. And even more common is girls quitting within the first season at college:
So do what you're gonna do - but PLEASE do your very best to enjoy the journey, and as parents, take the time to take personal inventory or whether you are acting in her best interest or yours.
It's not embarrassing to have an athlete that doesn't want to play at an elite level.
These years don't come back, and far too many young kids in all sports are being put under an immense amount of pressure unwittingly by the people that love them the most!
So let them enjoy the sport & have fun. Don't be the one that steals the smiles away from these girls! Be the one that has their back & the one they can rant to on the way home!
