04/19/2026
Something from my softer side that I wanted to share with you.
I’ve spent the last 10 years of my life taking care of two other adults. Two of the most important adults in my life.
It’s normal for parents to age and die before you do. But no one prepares you for how difficult that physical and emotional roller coaster will be between denial that there’s a problem, and choosing a final resting place.
Similarly, when you meet someone, fall in love, move in together and plan a life together, both of you following your dreams and supporting each other, making each other stronger - no one prepares you for what it’s like to let all those dreams go and become a caregiver instead.
Over the past decade, I’ve let all my athletes go except for one or two resilient and faithful ones that I’ve stuck with me accepting what I’m able to give them.
I also let go most of my own fitness, I couldn’t bear riding a bike when my partner would’ve given anything in the world to be able to ride a bike again and he couldn’t.
But since January, I have felt this fog and uncertainty lifting. I’ve be begun, Coaching and Ernest again and enjoying it. I become training again and have my own coach.
The unexpected part was how suddenly effortlessly I was able to begin cleaning up my home and creating peaceful spaces that work for me.
Instead of the medication corner, why I would refill Michael’s heart, disease, and cancer medicines every week, I now have a coffee nook where I can perform my morning ritual of 3 tablespoons of coffee, beans, freshly ground to sip on while I work.
It became effortless to clean the rest of the counter so that when I think of fixing a snack, I actually have space to make things like avocado toast with chili lime sprinkles, and everything but the bagel seasoning.
And the most surprising thing is how this has changed the inner dialogue that I didn’t even realize what was going on in my mind.
It’s OK to take care of myself. I deserve to have clean and calming spaces. I deserve to be able to fix nutritious food to support my thinking, my work and my training.
You deserve it too. What have you learned as a result of going through a hardship?
