01/01/2020
2020 and my Feelings
Leaving 2019 with a ♡ of Thanksgiving. Walking into 2020 with the same ♡.
Trusting God with wherever he takes me down the road towards 2021. I cannot say I enjoyed every part of 2019. But I am THANKFUL for EVERY part of 2019 because I convinced that God is real, he loves me, he's always with me and has my best interest at ♡. I may not enjoy certain foods, but I eat them because I know they are good for my health. I do not expect 2020 to be all mac & cheese. At a buffet most people fill their plate with comfort, fun and unhealthy foods. We tend to do life the same expecting every day to lead us to feeling HAPPY. BREAKING NEWS!!!!! Just like 2019 and EVERY year preceeding it, 2020 will not be a year of ALL MAC & CHEESE. There will be Veggies as well. There will be days you will feel happy, sad, hopeful, angry, confident, defeated, stressed, excited, strong, weak, adequate, inadequate, loved, unloved and SO Much more! God created us with the capacity to feel all of these emotions. We need to feel, identify and process the negative emotions as well as the positive ones to function as an emotionally healthy person. My personal goal for 2020 and for my life is not to pursue soley happiness ; but to feel, identify and process ALL OF MY EMOTIONS (including the negative ones with the associated pain) without slipping into trauma; and learning to safely navigate my way back to Joy. Pursuing happiness alone is shortsighted and will consistently keep you emotionally unsettled.
Unfortunately, when those negative emotions show up, most of us don't know what to do with them. So we disassociate ourselves from them and seek and artificial way to make ourselves happy (medicating our emotions). The danger in this is...we tend to choose unhealthy and non-relational ways to regulate these unwanted feelings. Medicating negative emotions leads to creating unhealthy attachments/behavior patterns/addictions in our lives which negatively impacts our freedom and our ability to give and receive love. In closing, I pray that 2020 be a year of self reflection, healing, learning and growing so that you will be healthiest you (Spiritually, Emotionally & Physically) from the inside out. God loves you and is committed to your success from the inside out. Ask him to give you the grace and courage to not avoid and artificially medicate your negative emotions, but to feel them, identify them and process them by talking to him about them and even sharing them with an emotionally safe friend or community. God bless!
