11/13/2023
For the longest time, I didn't quite grasp what trauma really is. What helped my understanding was realizing that it's not about what happens to you; rather, it's about how you personally experience those events.
Trauma can be defined as an experience that is too overwhelming for our nervous systems to cope with. This could be anything that is too fast, too much, or even too little (when we talk about neglect and not enough love, safety, or support).
When we are overwhelmed, our nervous system can get stuck in survival states of fight, flight, or freeze, even after the initial threat has passed. And this overwhelm creates disconnection - from our authentic selves, our bodies, and the present moment.
Trauma can stem from a diverse range of stressors, including accidents, emotional abuse, invasive surgeries, sexual or physical assault, neglect, loss, or ongoing conflict. Sometimes, we distinguish between two forms of trauma. We talk about trauma with a capital "T" and trauma with a lowercase "t." Trauma with a capital "T" is one that most people would consider traumatic, such as a plane crash or sexual abuse. Trauma with a lowercase "t" is something that everyone can experience at some point in life and is perceived as traumatic on a more personal level, which could include a relationship breakup, unexpectedly losing a job, or facing a threat. Again, the events themselves are not the trauma per se; rather, trauma is the internal injury that arises as a result of what happened.
Some people doubt if they have unresolved trauma, thinking it must be something catastrophic or in other words capital "T" trauma. But remember, trauma is what felt traumatic to you. It could be childhood bullying, feeling unseen or uncared for by a parent, or constant criticism from a partner.
No matter how small or insignificant it may seem to someone else, every trauma is valid, and everyone deserves healing.
Trauma imposes constraints and disconnects us, while, in the words of Mate, healing is the journey to reconnect with our true, authentic selves. Feel like you could use a more personalized conversation about your journey with trauma? Drop a comment ⬇ or send a DM! 💜