01/17/2025
When our ability to defend, escape, deactivate, freeze, or process through our experience is thwarted it can get lodged in the Soma. Our brilliant systems will continue to attempt to bring us through to completion so we can rest and digest/metabolize/recover.
However, that repetition can create patterns sub or unconsciously that continue to run long after the (real or perceived) threat/challenge/activation/overwhelm is gone. It doesn’t see similar, only same. On repeat.
Some common patterns/symptoms/side-effects are difficulty with trust, hyper vigilance, perfectionism, hyper independence, anxiety, depression, numbness or frozen-ness, shame, busyness, difficulty with boundaries, codependency, helplessness, reacting instead of responding, etc.
The body knows what to do, it is typically our environment, beliefs, societal standards, comparison and lack of modeling that can get in our way. But it’s never too late. Body awareness and relationship building begin to allow us to uncover what has been stored. With that access we can begin to use soma-centered (includes mind) techniques to disrupt the pattern, process what was left incomplete, and heal.
Relational wounds cannot be healed alone. They must be approached and held interdependently.
None of your responses are defective. They may not seem very mature or feel helpful especially if these strategies were deployed as children, but they are not defective. Most of our responses are completely appropriate in the moment and context of the experience, particularly uncontained experience and trauma. We can help these strategies develop and mature into competencies though, with effort, intention, commitment, and practice.
I’m here to help. 🙏 Go gently. 💛
