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RPM Mobil Softball, Hudson, NH (2026)

09/02/2026

📣 THE MEN ARE HOME. THE WOMEN ARE STILL FIGHTING. 🥎

Mobil Women Storm Into Championship After Playoff Rampage

There is still championship softball left to be played in Hudson.

It just won’t be the men playing it.

While the Mobil men have officially traded their cleats for ice packs, beer cans and unsolicited analysis of their championship-series loss, the Mobil Women are still very much alive — and playing for a title tonight.

And they didn’t exactly sneak into the championship.

They kicked the door down.

Mobil has ripped through three playoff games in eight days, beating the Witches 11-10, absolutely dismantling the Saints 16-0, and then knocking off the #1-seeded Bears, 9-7, in Monday night’s semifinal.

That’s a 3-0 playoff run.

That’s 36 runs scored.

And that’s one Mobil team left standing.

ROUND ONE: EVERYBODY HITS

The postseason began against the Witches with Mobil apparently deciding that defense was optional as long as they simply hit everything in sight.

They pounded out 19 hits in an 11-10 win, with Becky going a perfect 4-for-4 and Angela, Becky and Andrea all homering in the first two innings.

Mobil built a 10-1 lead, watched the Witches claw all the way back to tie it — because apparently winning comfortably would have violated team policy — and then survived.

Megan handled the pitching duties, the defense committed zero errors, and Mobil escaped with its postseason life intact.

ROUND TWO: NEVER MIND, DEFENSE IS NOT OPTIONAL

Two nights later, the Saints arrived.

Technically.

Mobil beat them 16-0.

There really isn't much more diplomatic wording available.

Kayli went 3-for-3. Megan, Becky and Angela each drove in three. Becky launched another home run. Megan threw five shutout innings while allowing just two hits.

The Saints' offense produced approximately the same amount of resistance as the folding chairs along the first-base fence.

Mobil was moving on.

THEN CAME THE #1 SEED

Monday brought the Bears — the top seed and the team that was supposed to end this little run.

Instead, Mobil jumped out to an 8-0 lead.

Andrea, who apparently had other plans for everyone's September, drove in five runs, including a three-run homer in the fifth. Angela went 4-for-4. Kayli, Becky, Katie and Sammie all had multiple hits.

Then the Bears finally woke up.

They cut the lead to 8-4. Then 8-6. Then 9-7.

And suddenly the team that had spent most of the night cruising was hanging onto a championship berth while the #1 seed came charging back.

But Megan and the Mobil defense held.

Two double plays.

Seven innings.

9-7. Ballgame.

The #1 seed was done.

Mobil was going to the championship.

THIS OFFENSE IS A PROBLEM

The playoff surge isn't coming completely out of nowhere.

Andrea enters the championship hitting .583 with six home runs and 35 RBI. Angela is batting .596 with three homers and 18 RBI. Michelle is at .551, Becky at .545 with three homers, Kayli at .500, and Megan at .456.

Yes, you read that correctly.

There are five regular Mobil hitters batting .500 or better.

Apparently nobody told the women that slowpitch softball statistics are supposed to at least pretend to look reasonable.

Andrea has also been perfect defensively this season and has been involved in 14 double plays, while Megan has quietly been the steady hand in the circle throughout this playoff run — winning all three games, including the shutout and Monday's upset of the Bears.

And somehow, they're getting hotter.

ONE MORE.

So tonight, the Mobil Women play for a championship.

The men's season is over. Their championship dream ended last week after five games, several injuries, approximately 4,000 text messages and one afterparty that lasted until the lights went out.

Their work here is done.

Now it's the women's turn.

Three playoff games.

Three wins.

The Witches survived the first punch but couldn't survive the game.

The Saints got flattened.

The #1 seed got sent home.

And now there's only one team left between Mobil and a championship.

The men are home.

The women are still fighting.

One more.

08/28/2026

🚨 BUD & CHAZ BREAKING NEWS 🚨

D&R Takes the Crown in Five — But Mobil Goes Down Swinging

HUDSON — Friday morning.

The sun came up over an empty softball field.

The bases were put away. The dugouts were quiet. The championship had been decided.

And somewhere, presumably, several members of Mobil Softball were just going to bed.

Bud and Chaz returned to the field Friday morning for one final report on a championship series that featured five games, dramatic comebacks, multiple injured Mobil players, a first-class airline negotiation, and a third-base coach managing remotely from somewhere off the coast of Alaska.

D&R won the championship, three games to two.

They earned it.

But preliminary reports indicate Mobil absolutely demolished them in the afterparty.

“Wasn’t particularly close, Bud.”

“No. Mobil remains the class of the league in events beginning after the final out.”

---

GAME 1: WE DON'T NEED TO TALK ABOUT THIS

D&R won 23–5.

“They had 30 hits, Chaz.”

“Thirty?”

“Thirty.”

“Can we move on?”

“Yes.”

Excellent.

---

GAME 2: THE BEARD GAME

Mobil returned four days later apparently having become an entirely different softball team, pounding out 24 hits in a 21–6 win.

Beard went 3-for-3 with four runs, seven RBI, a triple and two home runs.

“Bud, I believe our previous reporting may have upset him.”

“Good.”

Jeremy and Colby added three hits apiece, Justin and Marshall homered, and John held the same D&R lineup that had collected 30 hits in Game 1 to just 10.

Series tied, 1–1.

Sonic, meanwhile, had played Game 1 and would not appear again.

The Mobil Championship Series Attrition Department was officially open for business.

---

GAME 3: THE ONE THEY'LL REMEMBER

D&R took a 12–4 lead in the fourth inning.

Championship series. Eight runs down.

Most recreational softball teams would begin discussing where they were going afterward.

Mobil scored five immediately.

They kept coming.

And in the seventh, Ryan doubled home the tying run before John put the ball in play to bring home the winner.

Mobil 14, D&R 13.

Walk-off.

Series lead, 2–1.

One minor problem:

John got injured on the game-winning play.

“So Mobil won the game and lost its starting pitcher?”

“Yes.”

“That feels on-brand.”

He wouldn't play again.

---

GAME 4: THE ROSTER BEGINS PHYSICALLY DISINTEGRATING

With John sidelined, Justin took the mound.

Then Beard — the second Mobil batter of the game — fractured his left heel.

The second batter.

Most reasonable adults would stop playing.

Beard finished the game.

The Mobil medical staff, believed to consist primarily of somebody asking “you good?”, was unavailable for comment.

Justin went 3-for-3 with two homers and four RBI while pitching all six innings, but D&R won 10–6.

Series tied, 2–2.

One game for everything.

---

GAME 5: WHO'S LEFT?

By Thursday, Mobil was without Sonic, John and Beard.

Then there was Colby.

Colby had to travel with his girlfriend for a wedding. Justin reportedly offered to buy BOTH OF THEM first-class tickets if he'd change his flight and play Game 5.

Colby declined.

He chose his girlfriend.

His relationship remains strong.

His commitment to Mobil Softball is under congressional review.

Meanwhile, Pete was on an Alaskan cruise, livestreaming the championship series from his balcony.

We can only assume several whales learned some colorful terminology regarding baserunning.

And then Mobil went out and fought anyway.

D&R led 4–0.

Mobil came back and led 5–4.

D&R retook the lead.

Keith homered.

7–6 Mobil.

Then D&R exploded for eight runs in the fifth.

14–7.

That should have ended it.

Mobil responded with five runs of its own.

Brock hit his second three-run homer of the game. Evan followed with a two-run shot.

14–12.

Here they came again.

Eventually, D&R finally put them away, 18–12, to win the championship.

Brock finished Game 5 with two homers and six RBI, while Justin pitched all seven innings after pitching all of Game 4 the night before.

---

THE MORNING AFTER

Bud and Chaz stood quietly near third base.

Mobil could have folded after losing Game 1 by 18.

They didn't.

They could have folded down 12–4 in Game 3.

They didn't.

They could have folded when John went down, when Beard fractured his heel, or when they entered Game 5 without several key players and watched D&R put up eight runs in an inning.

They didn't.

And maybe that's what this series ultimately showed about this group.

These guys genuinely like each other.

They want to hang around after games. They pick each other up. They relentlessly give each other a hard time. And when somebody goes down, the next guy wants to fight a little harder for him.

They've spent years busting each other's balls.

And, in at least one well-documented incident, literally busting each other's balls.

That's family.

A deeply dysfunctional family with questionable medical judgment, but family nonetheless.

“D&R gets the trophy, Chaz.”

“They earned it.”

“They did.”

“But Mobil gave them everything they had.”

“Everything they had left, anyway.”

Fair distinction.

Because by Thursday, a pitcher was hurt. An outfielder had a fractured heel. A middle infielder was somewhere near an airport being an annoyingly excellent boyfriend. Their third-base coach was watching from an Alaskan cruise ship. On top of the rest of the lingering injuries from a hard fought season.

And still...

they fought.

All the way to Game 5.

All the way to the final out.

And when that final out came, they walked off the field together.

They just didn't actually leave.

The lights eventually shut off.

Mobil remained.

D&R may have won the championship, but sometime after the scoreboard went dark, the competition shifted to an event in which Mobil has considerably more postseason experience.

And they won that one.

FINAL: D&R defeats Mobil, 3–2.

Congratulations to D&R on a well-earned championship.

Bud & Chaz, signing off from the field.

For now...

08/20/2026

🚨 BUD & CHAZ BREAKING NEWS: THE CHAMPIONSHIP SERIES IS HERE 🚨

BUD: Good evening. We interrupt our regularly scheduled programming because, against the advice of orthopedic surgeons everywhere, Mobil Softball is playing for a championship.

CHAZ: Twenty-five games, 399 runs, 61 home runs, one regular-season title, one playoff series victory, several questionable hamstrings, and God only knows how much ibuprofen later...

BUD: ...it comes down to Mobil and D&R.

CHAZ: And Bud, Mobil isn't limping into this championship series.

BUD: Figuratively.

CHAZ: Correct. Physically, several of them are absolutely limping.

But as a team?

Mobil is HOT.

---

🔥 PEAKING AT EXACTLY THE RIGHT TIME

BUD: Let's look at how Mobil got here.

They finished the regular season in first place, earning a first-round bye. Their final regular-season game?

A 20-10 demolition of the very D&R team they'll see in the championship.

Then came the semifinals.

Mobil dropped Game 1 to Vulc Tech by one run, came back to take Game 2, and finished the job in Game 3 to punch its ticket to the finals.

CHAZ: So they've won three of their last four games, including their last meeting with D&R and two straight elimination-round playoff games.

BUD: That's what those of us in the business call...

CHAZ: Hot.

BUD: I was going to say "momentum."

CHAZ: Same thing, but mine required fewer syllables.

And the season numbers back it up. Mobil enters the finals hitting .519 as a team, with 509 hits, 61 home runs and 382 RBI.

BUD: And leading the offense is Justin, who is having an absolutely absurd season:
675 average. 54 hits. 18 home runs. 65 RBI.

CHAZ: Eighteen home runs in 80 at-bats.

BUD: Seems excessive.

CHAZ: Greg Ford raised him wrong.

Brock is hitting .660 with 10 homers and 33 RBI, Marshall is at .588, Sonic .567, Colby .566, Beard .554 with 7 homers and 45 RBI, and Alex is hitting .526 with 9 homers and 46 RBI.

BUD: Seven regulars hitting over .500.

CHAZ: Becky has apparently spent the summer recording hits in GameChanger like Oprah giving away cars.

"YOU get a hit! YOU get a hit! EVERYBODY GETS A HIT!"

BUD: Although Ryan learned earlier this season that questioning the official scorer is a dangerous game.

CHAZ: His .444 average indicates relations with the scoring department have at least partially normalized.

---

👀 BUT THERE IS ONE PROBLEM...

BUD: D&R.

CHAZ: Yeah. Them.

The season series belongs to D&R, three games to one.

They beat Mobil 11-10 in extra innings in May, 14-5 in June, and 15-7 later that month.

BUD: Which sounds bad.

CHAZ: It is bad.

BUD: Thank you for the analysis.

But those games also tell an interesting story.

In Game 1, Mobil erased an eight-run deficit, scored seven runs in the sixth and pushed D&R all the way to extra innings before falling 11-10.

Then came two ugly losses.

And then came August 6.

Mobil 20. D&R 10.

Twenty-four Mobil hits.

Justin: two homers, seven RBI.

Marshall and Alex: four hits apiece.

Brock homered.

Jeremy, Keith, Beard and Evan all had multiple hits.

CHAZ: So yes, D&R owns the season series.

But the last time these teams stood on the same field, Mobil beat them by ten runs.

BUD: And now Mobil gets them with a championship on the line.

---

🧤 THE DEFENSE HAS ARRIVED

CHAZ: There's another reason Mobil should feel good right now, Bud.

The defense.

BUD: Something we haven't always been able to say without our attorneys present.

Mobil's defense has quietly become one of the stabilizing forces behind this run. The team carries a .958 fielding percentage into the championship and has turned 38 double plays this season.

And perhaps nobody represents that improvement better than the man currently vacuuming up everything at third base:

Alex.

CHAZ: Fifty-seven chances this season.

Twenty-eight assists.

Twenty-nine putouts.

Zero errors.

1.000 fielding percentage.

BUD: At third base.

CHAZ: Otherwise known as the position where a slowpitch softball arrives approximately six milliseconds after somebody hits it.

Alex has been dominating the left side of the infield, turning hard-hit balls into routine outs and generally giving opposing hitters the impression that perhaps they should try somewhere else.

BUD: Unfortunately for them, Jeremy has also been perfect defensively this season — 68 chances, zero errors — and Colby has been involved in 10 double plays.

CHAZ: Pick your poison.

BUD: And please stop hitting it at Alex.

---

📢 THE MOST IMPORTANT MAN ON THE FIELD WHO ISN'T ACTUALLY PLAYING

BUD: But numbers don't tell the whole story.

Because perhaps the most important figure in this championship series will never step into the batter's box.

CHAZ: Pete.

Injured?

Yes.

Unavailable?

Absolutely not.

Pete remains firmly planted in the third-base coaching box, providing decades of softball knowledge, situational awareness, veteran stability and approximately 14 unsolicited pieces of advice per inning.

BUD: And Mobil needs every single one.

When chaos erupts — and let's be perfectly clear, with this team chaos WILL erupt — Pete is there.

Should you tag?

Pete knows.

Should you run?

Pete knows.

Where should the cutoff go?

Pete knows.

What did you do wrong three innings ago?

Pete DEFINITELY knows.

CHAZ: Medical experts confirm that while Pete's body may be injured, his ability to tell everybody else what they should be doing remains at 100 percent.

And in a championship series, that matters.

Mobil has plenty of bats.

It has plenty of personalities.

What Pete gives them is something different:

calm, knowledge and stability.

BUD: Well... knowledge and stability.

CHAZ: Fair.

---

🎙️ JUSTIN CAUGHT ON A HOT MIC

BUD: And we have late-breaking audio tonight.

Following Mobil's semifinal victory, Justin was apparently caught on a hot mic addressing his teammates.

CHAZ: We cannot independently verify every word because several players were talking, somebody was opening a beer, and Greg Ford may have been yelling something in the distance.

But sources say the message went something like this:

«"Listen. They're younger than us. We know it, they know it. They've been gunning for us all year. Let 'em. They might have younger legs, but we've got heart. We've been doing this together too long. We've taken punches all year and we're still here. Nobody gave us anything. We earned this. Now we've got one more series. Play for each other, leave everything out there, and let's finish the damn thing."»

BUD: That's actually pretty inspiring.

CHAZ: It was.

BUD: What happened next?

CHAZ: He requested that Beard receive additional media coverage.

BUD: Incredible.

CHAZ: We are witnessing tremendous personal growth.

---

📰 A WORD FROM THE FRONT OFFICE

BUD: Meanwhile, sources inside Mobil headquarters tell us Becky has spent Championship Week doing what Becky does best.

CHAZ: Preparing?

BUD: Overpreparing.

Stats have been reviewed.

Previous D&R games have been analyzed.

Lineups have presumably been contemplated.

Storylines have been documented.

GameChanger is charged.

CHAZ: And every player has been strongly advised not to question a scoring decision during the championship series.

BUD: Sources say that policy is now considered "settled law."

---

🏆 AND NOW... WE PLAY

CHAZ: So what's the matchup?

D&R has beaten Mobil three times.

That's real.

They're younger. They can hit. They've scored runs in bunches against this team before, and they have absolutely no reason to be intimidated by Mobil.

BUD: But they're not getting the same Mobil team they saw in June.

They're getting a team that finished first in the regular season.

A team hitting .519.

A team that has won three of its last four.

A team that beat D&R 20-10 the last time they met.

A team whose defense has tightened up at exactly the right time.

A team with Alex turning third base into a NO TRESPASSING zone.

A team with Pete directing traffic from third.

A team with Becky guarding the official record like it's the National Archives.

And a team full of middle-aged men who have somehow decided that a recreational slowpitch softball championship is now the single most important athletic event on Earth.

CHAZ: D&R may have youth.

Mobil has experience.

D&R has the 3-1 season-series advantage.

Mobil has the last win.

D&R may have younger legs.

Mobil has heart.

BUD: And Advil.

CHAZ: Lots of Advil.

BUD: The regular season is over.

The semifinals are over.

Twenty-five games got them here.

None of them can win the championship now.

Only these can.

CHAZ: Mobil.

D&R.

For the title.

BUD: For Chaz, I'm Bud.

CHAZ: For Bud, I'm Chaz.

BOTH: FINISH THE DAMN THING. 🥎🏆

08/20/2026

Mobil Survives Vulc Tech, Advances to Championship After Three-Game Playoff Circus

HUDSON — Mobil Softball is headed to the championship.

It took three nights, 54 runs, 105 combined hits, one alarming Game 1 collapse, several emotional swings, the return of a migratory Floridian, and an unexpected late-series endorsement of Beard by Justin.

But they got there.

After dropping Game 1 of the best-of-three semifinal series to Vulc Tech Auto Repair, 10-9, Mobil responded with back-to-back wins — 15-7 Tuesday and 18-10 Wednesday — to punch its ticket to the championship series.

When reached for comment following the series victory, retired Mobil legend Greg Ford offered perhaps the most powerful analysis of the evening:

«“I’m speechless. Just speechless.”»

We assume this was about Mobil's inspiring playoff performance.

It may also have been about literally anything else.

GAME 1: Well, That Got Uncomfortable

Mobil opened the series Monday by outhitting Vulc Tech 16-13 and losing anyway, which is a very Mobil way to begin a playoff run.

The teams were tied 2-2 before Vulc Tech dropped eight runs in the fifth inning, suddenly putting Mobil in a 10-2 hole.

Most reasonable teams might have accepted their fate.

Mobil apparently does not employ reasonable people.

They stormed back with six runs in the sixth, highlighted by RBI triples from Beard and Brock and a two-run homer from Alex, eventually pulling within one before falling 10-9.

Alex, Jeremy, Justin, Tom, Colby and John all had two hits.

The loss put Mobil's season one game away from ending.

Which, in hindsight, mostly just seems to have irritated them.

GAME 2: Oh. Never Mind.

Mobil showed up Tuesday and apparently decided that a one-run playoff loss was enough character building for one week.

They won 15-7.

Alex went 3-for-3 with four RBI, including a two-run double and a two-run homer. Mobil exploded for eight runs in the fourth, with Colby hitting a two-run homer, Beard going deep, Keith driving in two and Sonic driving in two.

John handled the rest, going all seven innings while Mobil's defense committed zero errors.

After allowing eight runs in one inning the night before, playing an entire game without an error felt almost suspiciously responsible.

The series was tied.

One game for the championship berth.

GAME 3: RELEASE THE BEARD

Wednesday night's deciding game started as a back-and-forth battle.

Vulc Tech led 2-0.

Mobil led 4-2.

Vulc Tech led 6-4.

Mobil led 8-6.

Vulc Tech tied it 8-8.

And then Mobil apparently remembered it had finished the regular season in first place for a reason.

Six runs in the fifth.

Four more in the sixth.

18-10. Ballgame. Series.

Justin hit a two-run homer in the fifth to help break things open, Colby reached base four times and scored twice, Ryan casually went 3-for-3, Jeremy and Florida Scott each had two hits, and John once again went the distance.

Yes, Florida Scott.

Snowbird returned north from his brief southern migration/recharging expedition just in time for the playoffs. Apparently the Florida maintenance program worked: Scott collected four hits during the series and can now safely begin planning his next seasonal disappearance.

But the headline belonged to Beard.

Three hits.

Five RBI.

And a grand slam in the sixth inning to put the finishing touches on the series.

Beard finished the deciding game 3-for-4 and was one of Mobil's biggest offensive weapons throughout the series.

And nobody was more eager to make sure that fact appeared in this article than...

Justin.

Yes.

That Justin.

The same Justin who, just a few weeks ago, was decidedly less enthusiastic about the media attention Beard received after hitting TWO GRAND SLAMS IN ONE INNING has now formally requested that Beard's Game 3 performance receive proper recognition.

Mobil Media Relations would like to recognize this tremendous personal growth.

We haven't seen a character arc like this in years.

Beard hits two grand slams in one inning:
Justin: Let's not get carried away.

Beard hits one grand slam in a playoff game:
Justin: THE PEOPLE NEED TO KNOW.

We agree, Justin.

The people have now been informed.

THREE GAMES. ONE TICKET PUNCHED.

Across the three-game series, Mobil piled up 54 hits and 42 runs.

They lost the opener by one.

Then won the next two by eight.

Alex was a menace throughout the series. Beard became the unlikely beneficiary of the Justin Media Machine. Colby kept producing. Justin homered twice. Ryan apparently saved all his hits for the deciding game. John threw 21 playoff innings in three consecutive nights, which feels like something we should probably check on him about tomorrow.

And somewhere, Greg Ford remains speechless.

Mobil entered the postseason as the regular-season champions.

Now they're headed to the championship series.

The first-round bye is over.
The semifinal scare is over.
Snowbird has returned from migration.
Justin and Beard have apparently entered a temporary period of diplomatic relations.

And Mobil is still playing.

The playoffs came.

Mobil survived.

Now we go win the damn thing.

08/07/2026

Bud & Chaz Finally Break Their Silence: Mobil Clinches the #1 Seed... and Apparently the Lawyers Have Gone Home

By Bud & Chaz, who are no longer under legal advisement.

For those wondering why there wasn't a Robinson game recap... there was one.

Unfortunately, approximately 14 minutes after the final out, Mobil Softball Media received a cease-and-desist letter from an unnamed player alleging that "further coverage of this game would result in excessive praise and irreversible ego inflation."

The player's name has been withheld.

It definitely wasn't the guy who hit two grand slams in the same inning and drove in 11 runs.

Definitely not Beard.

Our legal team (Bud's cousin Gary, who once watched Law & Order) advised us to remain silent.

But after another Mobil victory, the statute of limitations on ridiculous softball performances has officially expired.

So yes... Beard really did hit two grand slams in one inning against Robinson. Brock somehow hit a home run that same inning and barely made the headlines. Mobil scored 20 runs in the second, finished with 36 hits, won 32-4, and Justin's request of "please don't write about it" has now been completely ignored.

You're welcome.

---

Fast forward to Thursday night, when Mobil traveled to D&R for the regular season finale with first place on the line.

No pressure.

One noticeable absence was Florida Scott, who reportedly has already migrated back south to recharge his solar panels before the playoffs. Team officials assure everyone he'll return next week once his batteries are fully charged and the weather forecast in New Hampshire becomes slightly less offensive.

Without Snowbird, someone had to carry the offense.

Justin politely volunteered.

He blasted two home runs, drove in seven runs, and apparently decided that if Beard was going to dominate one week's headlines, he'd at least make the conversation interesting.

Brock wasted no time launching a three-run homer in the first inning, giving Mobil an early cushion before the lineup immediately turned into a revolving door of base hits, sacrifice flies, walks, and general emotional damage.

By the end of the second inning, Mobil already led 11-4.

Justin wasn't satisfied.

He added another two-run bomb in the fourth just to make sure everyone in the next parking lot knew he had arrived.

Marshall and Alex quietly put together four-hit nights, Jeremy reached base all evening, Beard collected another pair of hits despite no longer being legally allowed to receive media attention, and the offense piled up 24 hits while drawing six walks.

Meanwhile, John continued his annual tradition of throwing seven complete innings while calmly allowing approximately one million balls to be put in play. Somehow, it keeps working. Nobody asks questions anymore.

D&R battled all night, collecting 18 hits of their own, with Seth refusing to make an out and Scott launching a homer. But Mobil answered nearly every punch and even turned two double plays, reminding everyone that defense occasionally exists in slowpitch softball.

When the dust settled, Mobil had claimed a 20-10 victory, finishing the regular season atop the standings and officially locking up the #1 seed.

That means a first-round bye, a week off to rest sore backs, questionable hamstrings, and whatever muscles Beard used to hit two grand slams in one inning... and then it's time for the playoffs.

Bud has already begun polishing the championship trophy.

Chaz would like everyone to know that this is "premature and statistically irresponsible."

Bud doesn't care.

Playoffs are coming.

07/15/2026

Breaking News: Snowbird Scott's Migration Pattern Has Been Confirmed

Mobil Softball Survives Vulc Tech, Humidity, and Canadian Smoke

Wildlife experts have spent weeks tracking one of New Hampshire's rarest seasonal phenomena:
The return of the Snowbird.

At approximately 8:25 p.m. Tuesday evening, after an extended disappearance that left teammates questioning whether he'd accidentally renewed his Florida residency, Snowbird Scott was officially spotted at Jette Field.

Witnesses reported he looked healthy, carried a softball glove, and even hit a double—an encouraging sign that the species remains thriving.

His return also happened to coincide with Mobil overcoming a four-run deficit, surviving air that felt like warm soup seasoned with Canadian wildfire smoke, and defeating Vulc Tech Auto Repair, 13-10.

Whether the two events are related remains under investigation.

Vulc Tech came out swinging, hanging four runs on the board before many fans had even found their seats. For a brief moment, it looked like Mobil might be in for a long evening. Fortunately, panic lasted about as long as Snowbird Scott's offseason.

Mobil answered with four runs of its own in the first inning before unleashing what local historians are now calling "The Second Inning Incident."
Eight runs crossed the plate as Mobil turned the game completely upside down.

The biggest blow came from Alex ( #13), who demolished a grand slam to straightaway center. The ball was last seen crossing the border into Canada, where authorities reportedly assumed it was another piece of wildfire debris.

After building a comfortable 12-4 lead, Mobil did what Mobil occasionally enjoys doing: making sure nobody gets to relax.

Vulc Tech erupted for six runs in the fourth inning, cutting the lead to two and immediately raising the blood pressure of everyone wearing navy and orange.

Justin took the scenic route to earning the victory, tossing all seven innings while allowing 18 hits. In slow-pitch softball, however, that statistic is less alarming than it sounds. Pitching is often little more than politely introducing the softball to the hitter before hoping your defense feels charitable.
Thankfully, Mobil's defense did.

Despite the constant action—and despite field conditions that felt somewhere between a steam room and an active campfire—the team played a flawless game defensively, committing zero errors. Jeremy quietly handled everything hit his way at first base, while the rest of the defense repeatedly turned hard-hit balls into outs.

Offensively, the lineup once again proved there are no easy outs.

Evan continued what has quietly become one of the hottest stretches on the team, finishing a perfect 3-for-3 with a home run and three RBIs from the seven spot in the order. Keith added another home run to his growing collection, Beard ripped an RBI triple (yes, another one), Sonic and Colby each collected two hits, Justin helped his own cause with two knocks, and Grant reached base twice while scoring a pair of runs.

By night's end, Mobil had piled up 16 hits, survived 18 by Vulc Tech, conquered oppressive humidity, successfully inhaled half of Ontario, and even confirmed that Snowbird Scott does, in fact, still play for the team.

The club now heads to Sousa for Thursday's doubleheader.

As for Snowbird Scott?

Wildlife officials have fitted him with an imaginary GPS tracker and are cautiously optimistic he'll remain north of the Mason-Dixon Line for at least another 48 hours. The team, however, isn't taking any chances—they've reportedly hidden his flip-flops until after Thursday's games.

RPM Mobil Softball

09/02/2026

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