Diaries of a Pastor's Wife Blog

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Diaries of a Pastor's Wife Blog

Trauma-Certified; We service online.

Wife•Mom•Survivor 🪷
I help you feel it to heal it mentally & emotionally so you can live free in Christ w/o performance— along with my husband we help marriages find connection.

09/03/2025

spiritual bypassing isn’t true healing—it’s using faith to avoid facing our wounds.

(español en los comentarios 👇🏻)

for a long time I was led in this type of leadership. looking back, it very wrong. when your personal struggles are ignored or dismissed in the name of ‘faith’, it can lead to spiritual abuse and you would never know it.

I remember the first time I sought counseling outside of the church I attended, my sweet counselor’s cheeks got red with holy anger for me at the stories I shared. It was honestly the first time I realized that I was not wrong for feeling “by-passed” though I had little to no language at the time.

true healing requires facing our pain with honesty, not pretending it doesn’t exist.

my perspective of growing spiritually has changed drastically since then. there have been a lot of growing pain in the process, but God IS FAITHFUL.

the indwelling of the Holy Spirit and the peace that comes with it are what God desires most for us.
It makes obedience natural.
It makes trusting God through the impossible normal.

let’s rethink what it means to grow spiritually; let’s honor God as we honor the small still voice inside.

📖 Matthew 22:36-40 🕊️

have you experienced this; let’s talk about it 👇🏻
as always, DM’s always open ❤️‍🩹

08/06/2025

(desliza para español y luego ve a los comments 👇🏻)

deconstruction is a word I understood as I began my own healing journey after It’s not a bad word— and I wouldn’t know what else to call the experience if not that.

rebuilding your faith after loss or disappointment can feel overwhelming, but remember, you’re not alone. Just like Job, who lost everything yet still trusted God, healing takes time and at times (or most of the time) it’s messy and cruel, but it leads to renewal.

pain and grief are powerful teachers—they help shape our resilience and deepen our trust in God.

in this carousel, I unpack three common struggles that I’ve seen in both men and women I’ve worked with on this path, with faith and emotional intelligence as powerful tools for healing.

i identify small actions and steps that align with mine and your faith and with your deepest desires—gradually you too will begin to feel purpose, trust (and learn how to embrace grief) in new and unexpected ways.

through my own journey, I’ve seen that healing comes not through quick fixes but through trusting the process— changing my mind, learning to accept myself as God created me and seeing others find that same love and kindness for themselves truly honors a beautiful God who formed us with identity and baptized us with a spirit that won’t relent.

healing is possible and our portion ❤️‍🩹

💌 I will be taking new discovery calls mid August for the final trimester of 2025– if you’re ready to start your healing, DM me, and let’s walk this journey together.

07/30/2025

(desliza para español ➡️ luego ve a los comments👇🏻)

last week a friend shared a video of a very known pastor—who I will not name. the title read something like “So-and-so tells it all.” It was him, standing before a large audience, emotionally recounting his side of the hardest test he’d ever endured. with tears in his eyes, he claimed innocence, insisted he’d only suffered for doing what was right, and painted himself as the misunderstood hero. the room stood up and clapped.

I watched in silence—repulsed. because I’ve been under that same manipulative influence before... and couldn’t see it then. I replied to my friend, half-joking: “gaslighting has entered the chat.”

but it’s not a joke. when someone preaches from a wounded ego rather than a surrendered heart, it’s not just emotional—it’s spiritual abuse. When they twist Scripture to protect power, silence dissent, and bind people’s loyalty to them instead of Christ, it’s not just poor theology—it’s heresy.

gaslighting in the church is real. and dangerous. it plays on your compassion while stealing your clarity. It replaces God’s personal instruction with human hierarchy. this isn’t the Gospel.

👀 friend, I wanna help you recognize the signs, think critically, and walk in the freedom Jesus paid for.

swipe through, share with someone who needs this, and remember: discernment is not rebellion, it’s wisdom. 💥

dm or comment for healthy and healing convo around this. ❤️‍🩹

07/16/2025

here’s something to consider: your timeline is not broken. feeling left behind assumes there’s a race, but most “success” stories are nonlinear. plenty of people who look like they’re thriving now were once in your exact shoes — stuck, tired, unsure.

performance has never been our calling. and in our darkened night of the soul, God’s heart is near and for us.

what has helped me in the past is to process, first by identifying what part of my life feels the most stuck— work, relationships, purpose, or something else?

when you can begin to identify the areas you are feeling disconnected, and you begin to unpack your emotions, then the beauty of self awareness begins and self awareness is the path to emotional healing and emotional intelligence. This also has worked for me and my clients, when I honor my body, and take it to the Word of God exegetically.

we don’t need to project an image of something we aren’t when we are already called His image bearers. I pray you may be anchored by God’s love in this season.

did this resonate with you? Let’s chat in the comments or send me a DM. 💌

follow for part 2 where I will help you unpack some of these from personal and client experiences. 🗓️

06/15/2025

happy father’s day to my 1 & only
you broke the mold bay and great shall be your reward.
thank you for carrying us through the last 17 years.
you are loved, valued, admired and highly respected.
here’s to celebrating you and praying that God will fulfill His promise and purpose in your life. 💚 ILY 4 eva!!

and happy father’s day to the dads in our beautiful blended family and the best tios a woman can have.
am grateful to be surrounded with so much love.

keep shining ✨

feliz dia del padre a mi 1 & unico —-
rompiste el molde bay y grande sera tu recompensa.
gracias por llevarnos a traves de los ultimos 17 años.
eres amado, valorado, admirado y altamente respetado.
aqui esta para celebrarte y orar para que Dios cumpla su promesa y proposito en tu vida. ¡¡¡💚 TE AMO 4 eva!!!

y feliz dia del padre a los papas de nuestra hermosa familia ensamblada y a los mejores tios que una mujer puede tener. estoy agradecida de estar rodeada de tanto amor.

sigan brillando ✨

05/24/2025

est 05.24.08 until we turn to dust 🍃🍂

seventeen years, countless dances, and so many songs — but every step still leads me to you. from “all my life” to barefoot dances in the kitchen or the living room (or empty streets), you’ve been my favorite rhythm and you remain my favorite melody, my perfect symphony 🎶

after all this time, my smile is even wider — not only because you make me laugh but because loving you only grows deeper; all I can say is thank you for the way you love, ALL of me (scars included).
matt wayne matthews jr., you’re the realest!!

I love you gr**go, always and 4eva. 💋
happy anni to us 💃🏻🕺🏻🥂🤧

05/16/2025

📌desliza para español—y luego ve a los comments 👇🏻

so often we try to “have more faith” without noticing the state of our nervous system.
but Scripture invites stillness—not performance.

“Be still and know…” isn’t a command to try harder; it’s an invitation to safety, surrender, and connection. If your body’s been stuck in survival mode, you’re not broken—you’re human.

And healing is holy.

it’s a journey of rediscovering everyday, who we are and what we’re made of. I want to plant a seed in your heart today, because you may be stuck in a fight or flight— but a regulated nervous system will thrive.

we have been given the promise of peace in the chaos— but there is a peace that settles our soul out of every mess and every fearful circumstance 🕊️

DM me if you wanna chat or would like to begin your healing journey. ❤️‍🩹

here with you, in the becoming 🪷

05/09/2025

She didn’t know it yet… but her healing would help others find theirs. 🧵

(en español en los comments ⬇️

I had been a little quiet, but that reel reached a few people who needed to feel seen and understood —and maybe that’s the point.

when we experience spiritual abuse or religious trauma, silence can feel safer— but healing starts when we speak.

here’s why I believe sharing your story matters:

🕊️ It helps others survive what you’ve overcome
🕊️ It breaks shame and glorifies God
🕊️ It helps us build safe, Spirit-led community
🕊️ It reminds us that sound doctrine is part of healing—not a burden, but a balm

the truth is: some confuse culture for God’s calling. that’s how manipulation and cult-like control happen.
we need hermeneutics and exegesis—not just tradition and hype. sadly evangelicalism and hyper-fundamentalism is in a continual hunt for “new wine”, “new portals” and “fresh revelation” vaguely understanding that there’s so much more to Christianity and the teaching and learning God’s word and church history.

I do this for healing, for freedom, for faith—and for salvation. because God didn’t just save me from-something. He saved me for-something.

here’s a biblical reason to share you’re testimony:

📖And they have conquered him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony… Revelation 12:11

and this one I pray you take to heart and consider practicing more:

📖 “Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God…” 1 John 4:1

tag someone who’s walking out their healing. Or just drop a “me too” if this hit home. you’re not alone. 👇🏻

if you’d like to chat or simply be heard, DM’s always opened. 💌

here with you, in the healing and becoming; with sacred Joy and life after… ❤️‍🩹

05/02/2025

two years cancer free. Closer to the five-year mark.
Breast cancer came and took a part of me—but it did not win.

(español en comentarios 👇🏻)

like Jacob, I’ve wrestled—with fear, grief, identity, and God Himself. these last two years have bruised me and blessed me, but they didn’t break me.

hope isn’t just a feeling—it’s a Person I’ve clung to.
despair forgets there are more pages to the story.
but hope… hope embraces the whole story.

my circle is small but rich in love. a friend called me this morning to celebrate in conversation what today means today and she made my day— another flew down from NY with her family for my bornday; this little things go a long way in my life right now.
I’m rooted in faith, even when the ground shakes.
wrestling with God isn’t about losing—it’s about refusing to let go of what matters while accepting the limp that changed our name and view of Who God is, forever.

reminder, my dear one: be kind to yourself. It’s not a sin to show yourself compassion. it’s survival.

may is mental health awareness month—check in on your mind, not just your body. you matter. the story continues.

has your faith been bruised but you’re still clinging to the hem of His garment, still finding hope in the journey and peace in the storm? lmk in the comments so we can rejoice together and give hope to those in need. ❤️‍🩹

with you, here, as we become, heal and awaken. 💚

04/20/2025

This is FIFTY ✨

Heavenly Father, thank you for my life and all the beauty in it. Thank you for health, family and great friends— the true riches we can have. Thank you for Your Holy Spirit who dwells in me, and for your Son, who died and resurrected for Love. I would not be who I am today if it was not for the Greatest Love of All, my Lord and Savior.

I had a great time last night surrounded by all the people I love the most in this world—while some were missing, my heart is FULL. I am GRATEFUL. 🥹

here’s to the first day of my new decade…
what a glorious day it is. HE IS RISEN!! 🗣️

car selfies 🤳🏻 >>>

04/07/2025

18 years ago today, asked me to be his girlfriend 👫🏻

who would’ve told me that I would bump into that skater-looking kid with the eyebrow piercing from D&B at church years after working together, that I’d end up falling for him—and still laughing at his jokes (even the bad ones) every day?

here’s to us and the wild, wonderful ride that is “us.”
I love you more than when I said yes!
here’s looking at you kid 🥂 💋

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33000-33099

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https://diariesofapastorswife.com/2019/02/18/no-longer-and-not-yet/

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