03/27/2025
Perimenopause. Ohhh, what a magical time to be a woman. Truly. I feel like this is the “WTF is happening to my body” phase of life.
Libido? She used to show up all flirty & fun—now she’s like, “I’m tired, & honestly, I’d rather reorganize the closet.” Then suddenly there she is! Though no one else is… Ugh. I’m not mad, I just wish she would’ve left a note on her itinerary before she peaced out.
My favorite: spontaneous clumsiness. I used to trip over things occasionally. I get stuck in zippers. I knock over water bottles like it’s a competitive sport. Graceful isn’t me. Now? I walk into walls, trip over vibes, drop everything I touch, forget to swallow my own spit, & stub my toe on air. At least now I can stop pretending I’m just quirky. Nope—turns out I’m hormonally wobbly! That’s science.
I wake up & my hips are like, “No thanks.” I feel like I just lost a bar brawl. Cracking everything like I’m made of bubble wrap. My knees sound like popcorn. My back has opinions. I didn’t even DO anything. I slept & now I need a massage, & likely an orthopedic surgeon.
Acne. Full-on hormonal acne. Like, ma’am, I did my time. Why zits AND wrinkles? Pick a lane, face. You’re being rude.
But here’s the kicker—no one really warns you about this. It sneaks up on you like, “Surprise! You’re aging beautifully… also clumsily, achily, sweatily, & with mysterious chin zits.”
Now, before you think I’m just spiraling—& I am, thank you—know I love her—this weird, evolving, strong-ass body of mine. She’s unpredictable, moody & creaks like a haunted house. Through life, heartbreak, joy, awkwardness, bad dates, & this hormonal rollercoaster. She’s still here, trying, showing up in all her imperfect glory! 🎉
If you see me out with pimples, no idea what I am looking for, & randomly crying in a parking lot; know—that I forgot my list, I’m wearing two different shoes, & I still deserve love, joy, + a damn cookie. Know, I’m THRIVING. Confused, exhausted, slightly damp from mystery sweat—but thriving.
If YOU are in this too—solidarity, sister. We may be hormonally feral, but we are fabulous. 🩷Tell me your monologue.