IkiLight - Illuminating Life

01/10/2025

The other day, my friends and I were chatting about online dating apps. They were telling me how successful these apps have been for people and how many meaningful relationships have come out of them. I can’t say I wasn’t pleasantly surprised.

Back when I was growing up (when I start a sentence with this - my kids get real concerned - lol), there wasn’t even social media, forget about dating apps. Meeting someone online, back then meant chat forums, was a risky business. The general idea was that people on these forums couldn’t make friends in real life; of course that wasn’t always true— my best friends met their partners in a chat forum and they’re still happily together.
However, that’s the mindset most of us grew up with and it shaped how we saw things.
We are humans - we struggle to see value in things we haven’t experienced ourselves. No wonder we’re so quick to judge anything outside our comfort zone as either wrong or inferior or foolish.

Back to dating apps - says who what worked for us 20 years ago should still apply to my Gen Z kids?
The world has evolved! Our entire social dynamic revolves around online interactions now - why should meeting people online be seen any differently? Why was I so surprised that it worked for people!

Here’s what I’m getting at:
without a willingness to grow and adapt - it’s impossible to bridge the generation gap we whine about. We tend to judge things based on our own experiences but the truth is - most of what worked for my generation isn’t relevant anymore.
So - if we don’t want to feel dated or out of touch - we need to open our minds and accept the changes around us.

That doesn’t mean blindly accepting everything—it means figuring out what fits and go from there -

12/10/2024

This is a story inspired by a friend who braved the storm of heartbreak and emerged stronger, more at peace, and deeply connected with himself.
It's a tale of love lost, but also of resilience found.
This is not just one person's story—it’s a reminder to all of us that even in the ruins of our heartbreak - there’s a chance to rebuild, to rediscover, and to find beauty in the journey.

Here begins the story of Noah -
==========================================

Noah had loved with all his heart—a love so pure it consumed him, leaving him breathless, and eventually shattering him into pieces he didn’t know how to mend.

But this isn’t a tale of despair. It’s a story of hope, of prayers answered, and of finding peace amidst the wreckage.

Noah’s heartbreak came from a woman he cherished more than life itself. They had moments of laughter and arguments, joy and frustration—a connection that felt unbreakable, eternal.
But slowly, everything began to fall apart. Her love started to fade - dimming like a candle burning out. And then, one day - without warning or explanation, she left.
His world crumbled around him.

For years, Noah struggled to pick up the pieces of his broken heart. He begged her to come back, pleaded for another chance, but all he received were breadcrumbs of attention - followed by cold silence.
She vanished from his life just like that - leaving him alone to carry the weight of unanswered questions and a love that had no place to go.
How could someone he loved so deeply leave him so easily?
The pain was unbearable, and Noah found himself trapped in a cycle of longing and despair.

In his darkest hours, Noah turned to the heavens. He poured out his soul, asking for relief, for strength, and for the courage to let go of the woman who had hurt him so deeply.
He didn’t pray for her return anymore—he prayed for freedom from the hold she had on his heart -

Slowly - things began to change. He felt a divine presence guiding him toward healing -
It wasn’t easy, but Noah started to take small steps forward.
For the first time in years, he went completely no contact. No social media, no checking on her, no talking about her. Days turned into weeks, and for the first time, he felt a tiny flicker of freedom. The constant urge to know how she was or to search her eyes for traces of love began to fade.....

Through reflection - Noah found clarity!
He realized that her leaving wasn’t about him or the love he had given.
It was about her—the person she was, her wounds, and her experiences. She had a history of seeking out relationships that mirrored chaos and pain where she could play the savior.
But Noah was different. He offered stability, kindness, and peace, but those weren’t the things she was looking for. He was a bridge she crossed to escape her own heartbreak. And when she was ready to move on, she did - leaving him behind.

But Noah no longer felt anger or bitterness. Instead, he began to see meaning in his pain. This woman, as challenging as she had been, had taught him profound lessons. She had brought him closer to a spiritual awakening he might never have found otherwise. She had forced him to confront his vulnerabilities, teaching him resilience and strength. In the process of putting himself back together, Noah discovered beauty—in others, in the world, and most importantly, within himself.

“I’m grateful,” Noah whispered one day, a quiet peace settling over him. “Grateful for the pain she caused, the lessons she taught me, and the journey that brought me closer to my true self.”

Noah let go of the sadness, embraced the closure he had sought, and accepted that their paths had crossed for a reason.
She had served her purpose in his life, and perhaps, unknowingly, he had served a purpose in hers.
Their paths had crossed for a reason, and now, they were free to walk their separate journeys.

With a smile, Noah felt the weight finally lift from his heart. He was no longer broken. He was whole, stronger, and filled with gratitude for the person he had become.

In losing her, he had found himself—and that was a love story worth treasuring -

12/07/2024

Is it just me, or have you also noticed how terms like ‘narcissist’, ‘gaslighting’, ‘attachment issues’ are being thrown around in everyday conversations lately? It feels like everyone’s suddenly a psychologist - diagnosing their partners, friends, children, or peers based on something they saw in a social media post or TikTok.

Here’s the thing - these words have real, specific meanings and consequences. A narcissist isn’t just someone who’s selfish - it’s a clinical diagnosis. Gaslighting isn’t simply disagreeing with someone - it’s a deliberate and harmful form of emotional manipulation.
When we misuse these terms, we’re not just oversimplifying things - we’re creating more conflict and confusion.

Sure - calling someone a narcissist or a gaslighter can feel very satisfying in the moment, but does it really solve anything?
No!
But, we still do it because it’s much easier to label someone else than to sit with our own behavior or emotions.

So - maybe instead of diagnosing others, we should pause and take a moment to reflect next time we feel the urge to drop a psychological buzzword.
Ask ourselves: 'Why am I reacting this way? What’s my role in this?', and leave the diagnosing to the professionals.

Yes, it’s not the easiest habit to break, but it’s where growth begins : )

Happy Holidays, everyone!

10/31/2024

https://www.businessinsider.com/careerist-corporate-ladder-decline-promotions-work-ethic-american-dream-2024-10?utm_source=linkedin&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=business-author-post

What a great follow-up to my last piece!
Even though she didn’t write it with me in mind - I’m so happy to see that even in corporate America people are choosing personal values over titles and promotions!
Climbing that career ladder doesn’t mean as much as it used to—what a wonderful shift in perspective!

I used to think I was one of the few stepping away from the ladder comfortably because I realized that true joy and peace come from within—not from fame, money, or titles.
But it’s amazing to see I’m not alone. Even better - I now feel more aligned with Gen Z’s (my two boys) mindset about life and work as a whole.
Check this out my dear children - even Gen X now prefers work that offers balance and meaning instead of just status!
Talk about closing the gap on some level!

Bottom Line: success is about the quality of our lives; true fulfillment comes from those inner strengths that endure far beyond titles, fame, or the corner office we once thought defined success -

Happy Halloween to those who celebrate! 🎃

Getting ahead was once a cornerstone of the American Dream. Now, many professionals are stepping off the corporate ladder.

10/22/2024

Not to be all doom and gloom - but here’s something to really think about:
When we die - nothing comes with us!

Shouldn’t that be a clue that life isn’t about what we have, what we’ve done, or what people think of us?
So, why don’t we remember this when we chase money, fame, or respect?

It’s because we believe those things will give us the joy, fulfillment, ecstasy, and peace we’re always searching for.
But deep down - we all know that none of those things can really make life good. Feeling good comes from the love, gratitude, calm, and kindness we hold inside

Here's a way to begin your mindfulness journey -
Constantly ask yourself -
“Why do I do what I do?”—whether it’s activism, charity, volunteer work, or even chasing money or fame.
“Am I doing it to fill an emptiness inside? Am I trying to distract myself from how I truly feel about me inside? Or am I doing it out of gratitude for all I’ve been given and the love I feel deep inside?”

Once you start asking these questions - you’ll set yourself on the path toward lasting peace and joy -
Yes, it's a long journey - but within our reach —and it’s a beautiful one!
Sending love and peace to All!

10/14/2024

It is what it is - so I choose to make the best of what is
as opposed to chasing what isn’t -

10/07/2024

A few people have asked -
“if you’re all about peace, who will bring justice into the world? Doesn’t justice require activism which can sometimes be non-peaceful?”

This got me thinking (again), and here’s where I landed -

I believe in justice, and yes - Activism is indeed needed to challenge societal injustice and oppression.

But when activism comes from internal instability, unresolved issues, or as a way to escape life, it can become what I call "Re-Activism" (not a real word, I know) instead of true activism.

Think about it—if you're not at peace within yourself, how can you advocate for justice without negativities and biases? Activism driven by imbalance can lead to a distorted sense of justice, no?
True that we will not always understand why someone starts their activism journey, but the person doing it will always know their own reasons.

Just my perspective - I’m not an expert or a recognized activist, but I firmly believe in the power of love and peace to shape a better world : )

10/06/2024

"Lookin’ for love in all the wrong places, lookin’ for love in all the wrong faces..." -
The song popped into my feed yesterday - and I've been thinking

Is there really a “wrong” or “right” place or face? What’s wrong for me might be just perfect for someone else : )

So, doesn’t it all come down to how we define right or wrong within ourselves?

At the end of the day, we all want to feel good, to feel right. And there are two ways we approach that:

1st way is to look outside - try to control everything around us to feel accepted, loved, and validated. We believe if we can manage our environment efficiently, we’ll have control over our happiness.
In the pursuit of controlling everything outside - we end up dedicating our lives to constantly managing and chasing what we do -

Don’t get me wrong. It works—until it doesn’t.
Problem is - we can’t control everything, or anything for that matter. Life’s unpredictable, and the more we try to manage external factors, the more frustrated we become when things don’t go our way.

We may find temporary distractions—new love, new places, new events—but once the novelty fades - we’re back to feeling the urge to control it all again!
It’s an endless cycle - many of us live our whole lives in that struggle - always chasing and never quite finding peace and joy

The 2nd way is different: instead of looking outside, we turn inward. We work on ourselves - make sure that no matter what’s happening around us - we’re stable inside.
If someone doesn’t act how we’d like, it won’t shake our peace or joy because we’re not relying on them to make us feel good. We’re simply grateful for the love and companionship they bring.

So - the choice is ours -
Try to control the world, or focus on controlling our mind and thoughts -

Yes, the 2nd way is possible! Takes work - but within our reach -

10/02/2024

Have you ever felt that overwhelming surge of energy and love from within - without any known reason? : )

That, my friend, is love—pure, unfiltered, and powerful!

It’s that amazing force that makes you want to dance in joy for no reason at all, just sheer gratitude for being here on earth -
It’s indeed a reminder that no amount of fame, wealth, financial security, or external respect can bring true - inner peace

09/30/2024

You know - life is going to unfold however it’s meant to, just like we can’t change the weather.
But what do we do? We sit there, worrying about every little thing as if that’ll change anything.
The truth is, life isn’t trying to bother us at all—it’s just doing its thing. We're the ones getting in our own way.
But how do we not get in our own way? That’s the real question, isn’t it? It’s the question that starts our journey—

09/28/2024

Today, I was offered a very tempting business deal; the pitch was all about how quickly I could make a fortune and live happily ever after. It sounded great, but I asked myself -
"How do I tell them that I’m already content? That I’m not searching for more because I feel like I have everything I need?"

Then I realized I wanted to write about it - I realized that by writing, I could better articulate these thoughts for myself, and perhaps, in the process, offer clarity for others as well.

Listen - I don’t want to sound condescending —
I genuinely appreciate everything I have and everything that comes my way. But I’ve reached a point where I’m not willing to chase after things in the hope they’ll bring me 'more' joy or happiness.
I’ve learned that money can buy experiences that bring moments of joy, but I’m no longer after those fleeting moments 'only' -

What I seek now is a constant sense of peace and contentment, and I know that can’t come from anything outside of me—it has to come from within.

To be clear - I’m not someone who believes in renunciation.

I believe you can fully engage with the world and still reach a place where you understand that having or not having anything won’t change the peace and contentment you feel within.

The capacity of having constant peace inside is a gift we’re all born with, but sadly, many of us go through life without ever unwrapping it, believing that lasting happiness is out of reach.

I’ll keep writing here, in case it helps even one person realize they have that gift too. I may not convince everyone, but at least I’ll know I’ve tried to share what has worked for me.

This is my way of staying grateful—for all that I have, and even for what I don’t have.

Please share and follow our page if our thoughts resonate with you. Teach us your secret to lasting happiness, or feel free to ask any questions—we’re here to help in any way we can! ~~

(I am a Registered Yoga Teacher & Mindfulness Instructor)

আজকে আমাকে খুব লোভনীয় একটা ব্যবসায়িক চুক্তির প্রস্তাব দেওয়া হয়েছিল - ওরা আমাকে বোঝানর চেষ্টা করছিলো কত তাড়াতাড়ি আমি আমার ভাগ্য পরিবর্তন করতে পারবো - সারাজীবনের জন্যে সুখে জীবনযাপন করতে পারবো।
আমি নিজেকে জিজ্ঞেস করলাম, "আমি কীভাবে তাদের বোঝাই যে আমি 'আরও' কিছু খুঁজছি না কারণ যা যা প্রয়োজন তার সবই আমার আছে?"

আমি চাই না আপনারা ভাবুন আমি নিজেকে বড়ো কিছু ভাবছি — আসলে আমার যা কিছু আছে, আর যা কিছু আমার কাছে নিজ থেকে আসে তার সব কিছুর জন্যে আমি কৃতজ্ঞ।
কিন্তু এখন আমি নতুন কিছুর পেছনে ছুটতে রাজি নই শুধু এই আশায় যে সেসব জিনিস আমাকে সুখ দেবে, আনন্দ দেবে।

এটা ঠিক অর্থ অভিজ্ঞতা কিনতে পারে যা পরোক্ষ ভাবে আনন্দ কিনতে পারে, কিন্তু শুধু সেই ক্ষণস্থায়ী মুহুর্তগুলির পেছনে আমি আর থাকতে চাইনা।
আমি চাই স্থায়ী শান্তি আর আনন্দ। আর আমি এখন এটাও জানি যে আমার ভেতরের সুখ আর আনন্দ বাইরের কিছু থেকে আসতে পারে না - এটা ভেতর থেকে আসতে হবে।

স্পষ্ট করে বলছি - আমি ত্যাগে বিশ্বাসী নই।
আমি বিশ্বাস করি আপনি সম্পূর্ণ সংসারী হয়েও এখনও এমন একটা জায়গায় পৌঁছাতে পারেন যেখানে পার্থিব কিছু থাকা বা না থাকার ওপর আপনার সুখ নির্ভর করবেনা

আমরা সবাই ভেতরে সবসময় শান্তিতে থাকার ক্ষমতা নিয়ে জন্মগ্রহণ করি, কিন্তু বেশিরভাগ মানুষ বিশ্বাস করে অবিরাম সুখ নাগালের বাইরে।
আমি সেই বিষয় সবার সাথে ভাগ করতে চাই - বোঝাতে চাই সবাইকে যে চাইলেই সবাই সুখী হতে পারে, সারাজীবন।
বাইরের পৃথিবীর ওপর নির্ভর না করে - শুধু মনের ভেতরটা পরিবর্তন করে - সেই অবিরাম সুখে আর শান্তিতেও সবাই থাকতে পারে।

আমি জানি আমি সবাইকে বা কাউকে হয়তো আমার মন্ত্র বোঝাতে পারবোনা, তবে অন্তত আমি জানব যে আমি আমার স্বল্প জ্ঞান আপনাদের সাথে ভাগ করার চেষ্টা করেছি।

আমার সাথে থাকার জন্যে আপনি চাইলে এই পেজ ফলো করতে পারেন, আপনার প্রশ্ন কিংবা অভিজ্ঞতা আমাদের সাথে ভাগ করে নিতে পারেন, কিংবা আমাকে আর আমাদেরকে আপনার ভালো থাকার মন্ত্র শেখাতে পারেন। ~~

09/28/2024

You feel sad and lonely because you believe someone special is missing, and that having them will make everything ok inside.

But what if you could feel content and whole within yourself - without needing anything external to bring you joy and happiness?

Is it even possible? The answer is - Yes! Not easy, but within reach for everyone. How?

Stay tuned for more...