09/01/2025
Trigger warning❗️❗️❗️
I’ve been contemplating writing this post because it’s raw and vulnerable and I dont open up easlily but in the end I feel like it’s important for people to see that I am a real human who also struggles. One client of mine said to me after telling her I ate a pint of ice cream “thank you for telling me that because it shows you’re a real person” I might have all this education behind me for health and nutrition, but my struggles are just like everybody else’s.
Mental health hasn’t always been something I would think about until people close to me were having a hard time with it. For the last 7 yrs I’ve become very serious about it. Making sure my loved ones were getting the help they needed but I never struggled with it. I was stressed and overwhelmed at times but I had my ways of decompressing. I have been in therapy since i was 19 and thought i was doing everything right
About two years ago I found myself in the darkest part of my life I have ever been in. I was extremely depressed, couldn’t eat, and all I wanted to do was die. Life was so much that I just wanted it all to stop. One night as I was driving I tried to run my car off the road into a ravine. Something pulled the wheel from my hands and back on the road which saved my life. I quickly found somewhere to park and cried my eyes out. I truly believe that was my guardian angle. Without her looking over me and the thought of my six children losing their mother I’m not sure I’d be here writing this.
I went home that night to an empty house and crawled into bed for 48hrs. I slept and slept and slept. Which my body needed. I slowly started doing small things that I knew would make me feel a little better. Eating, brushing my teeth, and showering. I called my therapist and got in right away with her. I learned that when my world gets to be too much my brain looks for an escape. Unfortunately that escape is removing all the noise by removing myself from the world. That is something that I’m not ok with.
I have found better ways of handling the noise. I continue to workout. Even if it’s the most shortest, lightest, non motivating, tears streaming down my face, workout ever. I still do it. It sucks but I still do it. I take time alone doing whatever I feel like my body and mind needs. Could be laying on the couch, watching trash tv, eating junk food. Or going on a solo hike in nature to clear my head. Meeting with someone I love to catch up and laugh. Laughter is the best medicine!
My mind still gets very overwhelmed and being a single mom is hard asf but I know I’ve got this. Im not giving up on myself. If you are struggling with the same things just know that I love you and I see you. I would be happy to have a sh*tty workout with you. Im here for it all and I understand these struggles. F**k the noise and don’t give up! 💪🏻❤️🫶🏻 r
