10/02/2025
A post I just read from was the breathe I needed. It was the kind, honest truth. You see, my body and I are in a tug of war. It started with a bladder disease at 10 or 11 and then endo at 16 which resulted in surgery during Covid. Also there was a sprinkle of arthritis and thyroid disease.
But with the help of supportive family, friends, my faith and my youth I seemed to bounce back within a year or two after every major flare up or struggle. I learned to live with the pain and discomfort…it was just a part of me.
But something happened in my late 30s into 40. I started to fight back with avengejce and the harder I fought the more my body resisted. I’ve done the diets and cleanses and hormones…oh yeah..hello Peri! (IYKYK). The workouts, the supplements, the doctors, the research. But this time it didn’t seem to be working…well not good enough anyways.
And some were along the line I started to hide myself, hide my body, and at times hide my heart…bc it’s lonely and it hurts to much to be in a body that doesn’t cooperate or meet my expectations.
I have one person in my life that is in my shoes, around my age that I can talk to, vent to and be angry with. And it sometimes it helps. But I know that your words matter. I guess that’s why this post knock me down(in a good way).
These wise words that I need to hear more. I struggle hard with kindness to my body. It feels like every other day it’s hurting or fatigued or failing me in some hard, ugly way. And I’m not kind. I’m mad. I’m annoyed. I’m frustrated and I’m sad. So very sad.
But I do have a good body, and it works the way it needs to right now. And I need to trust that.