31/07/2024
๐ ๐ฃ๐๐ฅ๐ฆ๐ข๐ก๐๐ ๐ฆ๐๐๐ฅ๐๐ก๐
To be honest, the last 2 months i didnโt feel very "juicy and vibrant".
I can't remember a time in my life, when i have been crying so much.
๐ง๐ฒ๐ฎ๐ฟ๐ ๐ณ๐ผ๐ฟ ๐๐ต๐ฒ ๐๐ผ๐๐ป๐ด๐ฒ๐ฟ ๐๐ฒ๐ฟ๐๐ถ๐ผ๐ป ๐ผ๐ณ ๐บ๐๐๐ฒ๐น๐ณ, ๐๐ต๐ผ ๐ฐ๐ฟ๐ผ๐๐๐ฒ๐ฑ ๐ต๐ฒ๐ฟ ๐ฏ๐ผ๐๐ป๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ฟ๐ถ๐ฒ๐ ๐ฎ๐ป๐ฑ ๐ฏ๐ฟ๐ผ๐๐ด๐ต๐ ๐ต๐ฒ๐ฟ๐๐ฒ๐น๐ณ ๐ถ๐ป ๐ฎ๐ฏ๐๐๐ถ๐๐ฒ ๐๐ถ๐๐๐ฎ๐๐ถ๐ผ๐ป๐ ๐ผ๐๐ฒ๐ฟ & ๐ผ๐๐ฒ๐ฟ ๐ฎ๐ด๐ฎ๐ถ๐ป.
This summer a deep memory came up for me, which i was finally ready to feel in my body
โก๏ธ ๐ง๐ต๐ฒ ๐บ๐ฒ๐บ๐ผ๐ฟ๐ ๐๐ต๐ฎ๐ ๐ฎ๐น๐บ๐ผ๐๐ ๐บ๐ ๐๐ต๐ผ๐น๐ฒ ๐น๐ถ๐ณ๐ฒ ๐ถ ๐๐ต๐ผ๐๐ด๐ต๐ ๐๐ต๐ฎ๐ "๐ ๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐จ๐ฅ๐"
The deep emptiness in me, which i tried to numb since a very young age:
Food, alcohol, s.ex, men, partying
.later on yoga, spirituality, meditation.
But the fact is: you can't meditate & breathe your wounds away.
___________
And you know why i was crying so many tears the last months?
Tears of sadness & compassion, because i didnโt know better!
๐ฟ i didnโt have the tools to move myself out of FREEZE & FAWN and feel my body in s.exual interactions, which felt "off"
๐ฟ i didnโt have the capacity to say "no" and to sense & hold my boundaries
๐ฟ i didnโt know that s.exual intimacy is something that i could really enjoy & crave for.
(Because the kind of "casual" s.exuality i was experiencing for years was definitly not worth craving)
๐ฟ i never felt "s.exy" or "beautiful" in my body and as a woman, because i felt so much shame.
๐ฟ and: i didnโt know how to FEEL and deal with all this emptiness, pain & frustration inside myself.
๐ ๐ ๐๐๐ฟ๐๐ถ๐๐ฎ๐น ๐๐๐ฟ๐ฎ๐๐ฒ๐ด๐: ๐ฝ๐๐๐๐ถ๐ป๐ด ๐ผ๐ป ๐ฎ ๐บ๐ฎ๐๐ธ ๐ฎ๐ป๐ฑ ๐ฝ๐ฟ๐ฒ๐๐ฒ๐ป๐ฑ ๐๐ต๐ฎ๐ ๐ฒ๐๐ฒ๐ฟ๐๐๐ต๐ถ๐ป๐ด ๐ถ๐ ๐ผ๐ธ๐ฎ๐.
..but the body never forgets.
And i feel compassion for my younger self, who didnโt know better.
But i do know.
That's why i do, what i do now.
____
And if you are ready to move out of shame into liberation & empowerment:
Join THE NATURE OF LOVE RETREAT!
24th - 27th OCT in Aljezur
๐ A 3 Day Somatic Journey to your natural state of love, connection & erotic innocence
๐ท title:.luna
๐ท (photo on slide 8&9) .foto.lab