HedleyFitness

12/12/2019

How are you REALLY?⁣
⁣
I never used to ask even myself this question. Not only would I show up with a big smile on my face, but I would make fun of myself in what seemed like a lighthearted matter... when really, I was breaking down from the inside out.⁣
⁣
My emotions would scream at me for help, and I would ignore them because the feelings I experienced weren’t what I wanted. My mind would be telling me so many things at once, that I couldn’t hear what it was saying. ⁣
⁣
Constant ups and downs.⁣
⁣
Endless overthinking.⁣
⁣
Meditation was not a possibility for me. I couldn’t even sit still for 10 seconds without needing to play music, let my mind wander into something completely outside of myself, or needing to be on my phone.⁣
⁣
This constant NEED to distract myself from the darkness devouring me from inside.⁣
⁣
It was only when I asked myself how I am REALLY. Once I finally got the courage to ask myself, I realized that the pain was real in not just myself, but in everyone. I’m now living a life I could only dream of.⁣
⁣
We all face struggles. I don’t care if you’re a CEO or a student, I’ve worked with all kinds of people, from rich to poor. They all have very similar struggles.⁣
⁣
What you produce and how you feel does not define you. The only thing that defines you is whether you’re willing to do something about it.⁣
⁣
If you need that support. I’m here. Just reach out.⁣
⁣
And as mentioned... myself and a few beautiful humans are hosting an event to help you find the keys within yourself to take action on this. This coming Tuesday evening is an event that could be the turning point for you if you feel like your own mind and emotion are working against you. You will learn to have them work for you. Link is in my bio ❤️⁣
⁣
Stay blessed.⁣
⁣
🥝 @ Whenuapai, New Zealand

11/12/2019

Ask yourself. HOW ARE YOU REALLY?

and I are hosting this FREE event shining light on Mental Health and the struggles that happen right in front of our noses. Mental Health involves all areas of well being, and is not just exclusive to depression and anxiety. If you have constant ups and downs, this will be just as helpful.

How often do you ACTUALLY voice how you feel? 🙋🏼‍♀️🙋🏻‍♂️ Well so does everyone else.

We're here to teach you how to have the conversation for the sake of your own well-being... But to also lead the way and help others to have that conversation too.

We will share the depths of our struggles, and the tools and techniques we have used to overcome these struggles. We guarantee you will take away something new. Let this be the start for change from simply living, to thriving.

The event will run for 2 hours and it's completely FREE. All we ask is that you bring along at least one friend or family member. You will also have the option to donate towards Mental Health Federation NZ if you wish to.

Our guest speakers will be and one other guest speaker yet to be announced!

See you there

⏰ When: 7.30pm Tuesday 17 December
📍 Where: Outram Hall, Murray's Bay, Auckland

The hall has capacity for 100, so be sure to reserve a spot on this event page by tap "going".

Bring: pen, paper, a ready mind and a humble self ❤️

08/12/2019

05/12/2019

He would cringe at the thought of himself in social situations. The intense awkwardness that consumed his being as he walked through school, the bar or into social gatherings. As if he never belonged there. So ready to be judged for every movement he made.⁣⁣
⁣⁣
This overwhelming anxiousness of who was looking his way, whether the girl he liked noticed him, and this thought of being secluded frightened him to the core.⁣⁣
⁣⁣
“Why is everyone good at this social thing? How can I fit in? How do I have to act to be enough?”⁣⁣
⁣⁣
Self devaluing questions would arise, and very quickly he would be perceptively below so many others.⁣..⁣
⁣⁣
I’m actually talking about myself here. You might see me today and think that’s bullsh*t. But you see now the true result of many years of inner work.⁣⁣
⁣⁣
What you don’t see is the soft interior within the fragile shell that I had for so many years faking smiles and forcing laughs. I suffered.⁣⁣
⁣⁣
Heck, I still experience insecurity and self sabotaging thoughts... because guess what? I’M HUMAN. But, they’re addressed very quickly.⁣
⁣⁣
Some of you might read this and think “WTF I relate to a lot of this”. You wouldn’t believe how many people you know also suffer similar experiences. It’s saddening.⁣⁣
⁣⁣
So...⁣⁣
⁣⁣
1. Be compassionate to EVERYONE. Even those who may seem nasty... because they most definitely feel nasty on the inside. Be kind.⁣⁣
⁣⁣
2. Start with you. No one heals you. Not even your 10 year relationship. That’s called codependent toxicity. If you don’t invest time DAILY into your inner wellbeing (not outer wellbeing of buying stuff), then the outside will never look good no matter what you have.⁣⁣
⁣⁣
Let’s normalize the talk of these struggles yeah? They’re more common than you think.
⁣
Much love ❤️⁣
⁣
🥝⁣

02/12/2019

You’ve got this. I believe in you.

27/11/2019

Me VS the way things are.⠀⁣⁣
⠀⁣⁣
No wonder anxiety is natural...⠀⁣⁣
⠀⁣⁣
Start accepting the reality of the situation. Screaming when the plane is turbulent doesn’t stop the turbulence 😉✈️⁣⁣
⁣⁣
All I can do is realize the truth of what is causing the pain; feel the emotions that come with it or I’m fighting a lost battle... Then I can move on.⁣⁣
⁣
Side note: is back in action on a weekly basis with incredibly powerful individuals sharing their vulnerable side of life around struggles. Search Pocket Coach Bites for my second podcast showcasing 5-10 minute bites on mental health and self growth 🔥⁣
⠀⁣⁣
Much love ❤️ ⠀⁣⁣
⠀⁣⁣
🥝

24/11/2019

What if you could love yourself with the same exuberance as you love someone else?⁣⁣
⁣⁣
This is probably one of the most healing thoughts I’ve had that have come up in meditation. Alongside many mentors/coaches helping me realize this, I finally felt like I could embody this feeling through simply just sitting with no-one else but... me.⁣⁣
⁣⁣
I can know that I love myself, but feeling it is something else. I can say I’m grateful, but embodying that is whole different game.⁣⁣
⁣⁣
Saying “I love myself” over and over again won’t do it. It’s the action of genuinely treating yourself the way you would with another. Taking yourself on dates. Sitting with your eyes closed and feeling your emotions. Journaling a conversation with yourself. Taking care of your body because it’s the house of your thoughts and emotions.⁣⁣
⁣⁣
Start with you first, because if you’re trying to give from a half filled cup you’re going to suffer, and very likely create toxicity in any relationship. Love must come from overflow if you want to experience detachment within the love you have for another.⁣⁣
⁣⁣
Stay blessed ❤️⁣⁣
⁣⁣
🥝⁣
⁣
📸 @ Ubud, Bali, Indonesia

16/11/2019

“I can’t go to a waterfall on my own because of my anxiety” or “I’m a positive person so I always have to smile around people” because “that’s just the way I am”.

How often have you told yourself something like this? Using an identity to excuse yourself or as a means to how you must be perceived?

This was me in a nutshell:

Not being able to be as confident as everyone else because of “my depression”.

Breaking down in a relationships because of “my anxiety” and then seeking compassion.

Having to always smile because I was “the nice guy” even when I felt like s**t.

These decisions of “how I am” are identities. They’re inhibitions. They’re personally built walls utilized to protect (my) self from potential painful experiences coming through...

However they’re walls we can also never climb over.

The walls need to be broken down first before growth can occur, or you’ll keep running into this “plateau” wondering why growth won’t happen. Be it in relationships, business, or self.

What do you identify with? Maybe it’s being “strong and healthy” so when you’re sick or injured you beat yourself up (that’s me still lol).

Maybe it’s “I’m positive” so you always have to show up with a smile on your face even when you’re sad. Now you can’t embody your emotions properly and hate interactions when you feel off (this use to be me).

I used to also identity myself with my partner meaning I now required the other person to be a certain way and say certain things to be enough. Possibly the most toxic thing I could do.

Every evening before bed, write down these identities. “I am letting go of X identity” “I am enough without Y” “I am no longer labeling myself as Z”.

This act instills new neurology to help you move away from these identities. Do this consistently over time to help free yourself of “the way you are”.

Stay blessed ❤️ 🥝 @ WaterfalL sekumpul

10/11/2019

If I was a fruit... I’d be a fine-apple 🍍

Just kidding I’m more of a 🍌 very a-peeling 😉

Self-confidence / self-worth... it’s something I’ve struggle with intensely for my whole life.

This sinking feeling of seeing others appear so happy with who they are and so capable of conversation. It’s something I just didn’t seem to have.

My inner dialogue would go along the lines of “I will never be loved” “I’m socially awkward” “I don’t belong here”. I felt so out of place that I figured there must be something not right in my brain.

Only in recent years I finally understood the expectations I had developed from “social standards” of myself compared to the person that I actually was were so out of line. This caused the self-sabotaging thoughts.

I was an apple tree trying to produce oranges. My apples might be sweet as fricken lemon meringue pie, but I still couldn’t grow oranges.

This idea of “I need to produce oranges because everyone else is being noticed for producing oranges” is what lead to these skewed expectations of self.

Where are you forcing yourself to show up with s**tty oranges? Your seed is worth way fricken more than s**tty oranges. It’s worth the apples that are used to make those $15 smoothies from overpriced juice bars.

Set expectations aside and see where you bear your fruit. Bring to fruition your absolute best in what lights you up when no one else knows what you’ve done. That’s when you know it’s “your thing”.

Once people taste what you’re good at, they’ll be a YOU supporter, not an orange supporter 😉 Much love ❤️ 🥝
-
📸 @ Hvar- Croácia