29/10/2022
I was doing some reflection the other day, as I was lying in the paddock soaking up the sun, 4 of my horses grazing around me - and couldn’t help but think how proud and excited my 10yr old self would be of where I am today at 29. For me, horses seem to be an endless love affair which I have never been able to shake. I am completely obsessed and probably always will be. A couple of months ago I did some goal setting with the view to getting back out competing this season. Before I went to Uni, I was always out at shows, comfortably jumping around 1.10m (I have never had aspirations to jump much bigger than that). These days though, the thought of being out in the ring at a show makes me feel literally sick… and it gets to the point that I’ll actually be sick before even loading horses onto the float! Completely irrational fear, but for me it’s my biggest barrier and a huge mental block. What I am scared of is whether my horses will go well, whether I’ll miss every single distance in the ring and if something goes wrong will I be able to handle it. I get so caught up on the ‘what if’s’ and completely ignore the fact that I’ve done the training, the horses are prepared, I am a capable rider and I have jumped many many successful rounds before. Anyway, the point is that I think the 10yr old me would actually just be bloody stoked that I have gorgeous, well mannered, talented and fun horses in my paddock. I think 10yr old me would likely be telling me to put my big girl pants on and get over myself. So to all the other overthinkers, nervous nellies and scaredy cats - when you start to get that overwhelming feeling of dread, nerves and sickness - take the pressure off and imagine 10yr old you that would just be genuinely stoked to have the horses you have and to have the opportunity to go out and enjoy them whether that be in the ring, pleasure riding or adventuring 🦄
