Kirstie James

05/02/2023

Over 300 people have already signed my petition. Get amongst it!

🚲 🍃
Support Sustainable Transport: The NZ E-bike Rebate

Support Sustainable Transport: The NZ E-bike Rebate

16/05/2022

The Wheel of Athlete Privileges and Vulnerabilities.

This is a diagram I’ve had in my head for a long time and I wanted to get it down on paper.

Partaking in research about athletes and my job in mental health has influenced my awareness of these vulnerabilities.

While I’ve always known they are there, the inquiry highlighting them is important and I think seeing them on paper is helpful.

This diagram is based on my understanding of the research into mental health in sport and has been adapted from a similar diagram about privilege in a general sense by Sylvia Duckett.

One component that i have not acknowledged here, which is a huge area of my research, is chronic pain. This has a huge effect on sport and I’ve talked about this recently in an article with the herald. Especially for wāhine.

In the same vein, one of the most obvious privileges not acknowledged here is being male, which is followed by being female then being gender non-binary, non conforming or trans.

This diagram could be improved with these, what else needs to be included? Might give it another go.

Where do you see yourself?

Lastly, graphic design is not my strong point!

Thanks for reading.

06/05/2022

Let's talk about periods!

Two recent interviews with RNZ and New Zealand Herald:

https://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/in-her-head-womens-health-ex-olympian-kirstie-klingenbergs-endometriosis-battle/WNLZTGYKYS6BE6JRLMNEK5MF5I/

https://www.rnz.co.nz/national/programmes/morningreport/audio/2018840526/lydia-ko-kicks-off-conversation-about-periods-in-sport

"I started to think I was being dramatic or crazy," cycling champ says.

15/02/2022

🤩 A beautiful ending to my career. What a wonderful surprise.

💛 Thank you to all who came. And to those who couldn’t make it, thank you for the lovely messages, photos and kind words.

🚲 Lastly a massive thank you for everything you all have contributed to my career. It was a truly special ride. One that I’m forever proud of and grateful for.

🥰 Feeling the love.

nz

Kingsland Lodge

21/01/2022

02/01/2022

https://www.instagram.com/reel/CYNvXmkIIwa/?utm_medium=copy_link

3 Likes, 1 Comments - Kirstie Klingenberg (James)OLY () on Instagram: “We went on a Heli Hike at on New Years Day. Experience of a lifetime! Thankful for…”

01/01/2022

2021 Happy New Year Everyone ♥️

16/12/2021

Part IV

On that note, it’s finally time for me to call time on my career. I’m retiring from professional sport.

It’s been one hell of a ride, that’s for sure. I’ve been pulled and stretched and grown in ways I didn’t know possible when I started out my sports career at my local rowing club.

Some highlights for me were; Going to Russia to compete in rowing. It was an eye opening experience and gave me memories I always look back on and cherish.

Getting selected last minute for the Track World Champs in Hong Kong and getting to ride in the final of the team pursuit. I finally felt like I’d found my place in cycling and it wasn’t until I got that result that I really felt like part of the team. Doing my first big race and producing a result like that gave me a lot of confidence.

Racing on the road was also a highlight for me. Going off on my own to Europe really tested me, and meting my team in the US and racing around the country with women who inspired me was really special.

Commonwealth Games was by far the biggest highlight. Not only did the racing go well, but I really felt like part of the greater New Zealand team. I remember feeling like I was bursting with pride as I represented NZ. It was such a privilege to have that feeling and share it with my friends, family and team mates who I love.

After this I had a string of good times in cycling. Every World Cup I went to I came home with a medal. Going from race to race getting Olympic Points across the world gave me so many good memories and experiences. Cambridge World Cup was a good one, two years in a row competing with a home crowd was next level.

Lastly the Tokyo Olympics, even though it was marred with challenges, was a huge goal of mine. To be selected, become an Olympian for life, and have the chance to race my heart out with the world watching was truly special and something that I will remember forever.

Mixed in there were many challenges too, none of which I regret, as they are a part of my journey. Endometriosis, RED-S, injuries, non-selections, burnout and so on. They contributed to the spectrum of experiences that I got to have in sport. To be continued…

10/12/2021

Part III

MIQ was hard. I didn’t want to be alone and the NZOC were helpful in giving me a a co-joining door to my friend Sarah. I felt so relieved knowing I wouldn’t be by myself. We spent countless hours talking, processing, unravelling all of the good and the bad of the last few weeks and even years. We laughed and cried and went to Liv’s funeral together online.

MIQ was this strange holding pen. Time felt like it warped. I stayed up late and slept in. I had no motivation to do my thesis. I felt a spectrum of human emotions in there. I tried to workout but I felt exhausted. I tried to plan for the future, even did a job interview, felt excited, but then I gave up. It was a two week blur, the kind I hope to never have again.

Then by the time the doors opened for our release of MIQ, it was like the world had moved on.

We walked out of there and into lockdown which meant the welcome home was cancelled. Holiday plan A then shortly plan B holiday cancelled. Plan C NZ trip, cancelled. Those who know me well know I don’t like to focus on things I can’t control but man, it was a challenge not to.

The post-games blues hit me hard. I experienced this a bit after Commonwealth Games, but in a different way completely. After CG, I’d just had one of the best experiences of my life. I performed better than I ever had before, and had an amazing time celebrating with my team. I really felt like a part of the wider NZ team. When I got home, it was all over and normal life just felt like such a down-buzz compared. I managed to move on pretty quickly and in a few weeks I was back into things at full speed.

This time was different. There wasn’t that warm glow of returning successfully. And even now, 18 weeks post racing, I still feel, well, I don’t know. Weird. Still somewhat confused and unsatisfied with the Games. Still reeling in the loss of Liv.

About a week after I got home I got a letter from the NZOC that acknowledged me as an Olympian and gave me my NZ Olympian number. It felt more real and I began to acknowledge that achievement. Number #1441. Only the one thousand, four hundred and forty first New Zealander to receive this honour…

To be continued.

01/11/2021

PART II

The Olympics drew near, and some things chipped away at my expectations. I dealt with and processed them one by one; the 1 year delay, family not attending, pre-departure isolation, being away from the NZ Team in a satellite village etc. All their own challenges, but I trucked on with performance in full focus. We landed in Japan and I was buzzing with excitement. I pulled out my race suit and just stared at the Olympic rings on it. Proud and excited to represent NZ.

A week later, we got to race. Something I’d looked forward to my whole life. I’d had my confidence shaken last year with the burnout, but my form leading in was good and I felt like truly like myself. Ready. Excited. That is probably the part of the Olympics that I’m most proud of. After a long hiatus of competition, walking up to the line feeling truly like me, was such a great feeling. I smiled to myself in the start gate.

When racing ended, the joy I got from competing turned to disappointment. Knowing we were coming home empty handed was tough. I’d made an ex*****on error too and was super hard on myself. The realisation of our pay cuts set in. Seeing our competitors head off to the village, get a photo with the Olympic Rings, dine in the food hall and attend the closing ceremony was hard too. Those were some of the experiences I dreamed of. We saw the Olympic village on the bus ride to the airport. I laughed at the irony, it was just right there in our view. So close, yet so far away.

Arriving at the airport we got the news about Liv’s death. Utter devastation and turmoil filled my body. Heart ache filled us all. On one hand, I couldn’t believe it was real. On the other I was overwhelmed by sadness.

I found myself pacing and heard someone call my name. I didn’t want to talk so I didn’t respond. Then, again ‘Kirstie!”, I thought, ‘I know that voice’. I turned and saw Helene. Our beautiful physio who was part of our team previously. She was in the line to check-in to travel home too. Helene embraced me and I wept uncontrollably in the middle of the airport. Lines of people staring, but it gave me comfort and peace. Then, before I knew it, I was in MIQ…
* To be continued.

20/10/2021

PART I

It’s been hard trying to put the weeks since the Olympics into words.

The Games didn’t go to plan for us and what was a dream my whole life felt as though it just slipped through my fingers. I dreamed my whole life of going to the Olympics, and even though I have been, I struggled to feel like it ever happened.

Firstly as we all know, covid put a large spanner in the works. The extra year for some was a blessing, but for me, it was really, really tough.

The thing that I love most about sport was taken away. Racing.

I realised that without the build up and taper of races, I was running myself into the ground. The monotony of training and the constant battle to push myself meant I drove myself into downward spiral of exhaustion, poor health and a deep mental battle.

I sought professional help dealing with burnout. Burnout, really? Who me? Its something I never expected to experience as I truly loved sport so much. And up until that point, I had already successfully conquered so many other challenges like endometriosis, non-selection, being unpaid for years and so on. But I wore out.

Training became extremely challenging. Being physically and mentally burnt out, I lost my spark. I almost lost the will to keep going, even when I was closer than ever to my dream. Which in hindsight seems crazy, but at the time, I felt like I couldn’t see further than one day at a time.

I had some time away training on my own, and some help. Then I got back on the horse and kept going. Kept pursing and built up better fitness than ever. Leading into the Olympics, I felt like me again. Ready to get it. Ready to rise to the challenge and do what I do best. Race (to be continued).