Fulfilled You.

10/10/2021

Agree or disagree?

10/10/2021

Change your language, change your life!

How I language my realities shapes my experience. When I language my role in the family as Supporter rather than Influencer/Inspirer/Pacesetter/Leader, etc, the mindset changes as well as expectation of self and therefore ensuing actions.

It's changed my thinking from "How can I lead?" to "How can I support my child/wife in this situation?". And it opens another world of possibilities.

At times, you may need to change it to "How can I lead?", How can I serve?", "How can I inspire?", etc, depending on the situation and the outcome you so desire.

Try this on yourself and see the difference how languaging does shape how you experience your reality.

Would love to hear your experience on this.

With lots of love on a Sunday morning!

21/09/2021

Love this. Unless the underlying needs are addressed, people are just scratching the surface.

19/09/2021

Boundary-setting language.

Positively Present

18/09/2021

Whenever you want to correct your child's behaviour, make sure you bring your attention to start with you being at the cause and not the effect of your child's tantrum or for whatever it is that you want to correct in him or her.​
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Pause and realize that you have a choice in how you react to the behaviour of your child. What are other options you can have access to? Apart from anger, you can go to curiosity, understanding, compassion, "the is the opportunity" attitude, etc. ​
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Asking yourself what help your child needs right now is a more resourceful place to go to rather than succumbing to your automatic anger. ​
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Realizing that your child may be acting out of fear and you are able to help him or her feel secure and loved would be a beautiful gift of the moment that you can give. Perhaps s/he needs a reassurance of how worthy and lovable s/he is? ​
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Wouldn't it be wonderful to use the gift of the moment to strengthen your relationship with and understanding about your child? Know how you can make a difference to your child's life just by being conscious that you can choose how you respond. ​
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A "cry for help" is often encoded as undesirable behaviours such as tantrum, anger, addiction, etc. and for you to have the ability to decode these messages and give what the child needs (not necessarily wants) is magical and a blessing to your child. ​
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Expand and build your muscles in accessing the choices that you have within you. Notice what you tend to go to automatically. Is it anger, revenge, sadness, disappointment, jealousy or neediness? Become aware of your own pattern and act from cause rather than effect.​
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If you feel angry, feel it and process it without lashing it out on your child. Anger and violence are two separate matters. All emotions need to be felt and processed, not suppressed or denied.​
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In my previous post (https://fb.watch/860gzOyZTf/), I talked from the perspective of a child realizing that your parents are not perfect and that they are also on their journey of development and healing. ​
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They have never been taught in how to become a parent. They learned it with the child. ​
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For a child to see that there's a boundary separating what s/he did and the parent's reaction is the first step of empowerment and going back to self love.​
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13/09/2021

Having functional boundaries is crucial to developing strong self-esteem. ​
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One way to cultivate strong boundaries is to have the ability to draw the line between your stuff (your control) and other people's stuff (what they need to own). Be it your parents, siblings, bosses, friends, husband and wife or your children.​
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When we were young when our parents got "angry" at us because of something we did, we blamed ourselves for being a bad child. "We made them angry". We did not have the mental faculty to separate between the actions that we did and how they responded to those actions. We simply blamed it on ourselves for having made our parents "mad".​
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In fact, how they reacted to our actions is "their stuff" as they have the choice of how they choose to feel or react to things that happen around them. It's the parents that chose to get angry and not the child that caused them to feel angry or any other emotions. ​
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What difference would it make to the world of a child if the parents could become conscious and aware that how they react to a child's action is their choice. If they resort to getting angry, they clearly have an area to grow. They need to learn how to functionally express their emotions.​
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What difference would it make to us to be aware of our own boundaries and to let other people own "their stuff" of ​ how they react to a situation and not to take the responsibility of how someone reacts.​
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Teach this to your child that it is your choice if you choose to be angry, disappointed, sad, etc. over your child's actions or behavior that you disapprove of and that it does not mean that your child is bad.​
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A child should not be responsible for an emotional state of a grown adult. Many of them are not able to outgrow this unjust responsibility unconsciously imposed to them by their parents. If you are one of them, I hope this message is useful for you.​
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If you would like to discuss, I am available. If you think someone will benefit from this, feel free to share.

06/09/2021

How has this message inspired you?

For me it brings a sense of relief that I don't have to do it all at once and therefore not overwhelmed.

It also tells me that what lies in the future is up to how I walk my steps, one at a time. It's about having a vision for the future and being consistent with myself.

Let me know how you got inspired by this message.