Ashleigh Jade Coaching

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Ashleigh Jade Coaching

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I'm a doctor turned transformational career coach specialising in helping young professionals, leaders and business owners to discover work that aligns with their passion, empowering them to create positive impact and a lifestyle of freedom. ⚡️

29/01/2024

But what do you do in your free time?

Wondered why you’ll find me in coffee shops in the middle of the week, often reading or typing away on my laptop?

I’m a part-time doctor, full-time hustler. 👩🏻‍⚕️✍🏼

But my “hustle” is not what you’d expect. The truth is, most of my free time is spent reading and building a community around books.

As of this year I’m leading a group of about 62 people (and counting) from around the world in a group read of the great Russian classic, Anna Karenina.

Last year I started a book club based in Cape Town, which is still going strong and keeps growing every month.

I read and discuss books on the internet every day of my life. I write about them, I inhale them, I think about them before I go to sleep at night. I love them so much that I enlist other people to read them with me.

I spread the love of what I love under the steam of nothing but unrelenting conviction.

And yes, I coach people who want to go down a similar creative path but have just never seen it done and don’t believe it’s possible.

And let me tell you, even the possible is not perfect.
But the feeling of being in flow, doing what you love, is incomparable. It’s the drug to outmatch all drugs.

You’ve got to find the thing you’d do even if no one paid you for it, even if it was just you alone in a vacuum and you had to go on doing this thing day in day out for nobody at all but yourself, for nothing but your own satisfaction.

01/01/2024

Oh hey, 2024! I sure am happy to see you. Relieved, to be exact.

2023 was challenging AF (no surprises there) but it was also probably one of the best years of my life?

Why? Because it was the continuation of something that started in 2022 and had been years in the making even before then.

But whereas 2022 was intense, exciting and downright scary, 2023 was a year of settling into the business of being whole, of being more of me.

It has been TOUGH and I still have moments when I doubt whether I can do it, when I consider throwing in the towel and walking the well-trodden path.

Nevertheless, I connected with likeminded souls, I continued to be a creator, I made time to write and read a ton and I built a community around what I love. I took refuge in familiar people and familiar places. Of glory there was little, of money even less, but somehow I do feel abundantly rich.

So, 2024, whether you’re going to be kind and gentle or handle me roughly, I just want to keep being surprised and delighted. I want all the curve balls coming from left field and maybe someday I’ll even get better at sports metaphors.

Thank youuuu ✌️

10/10/2023

Trust me, your people are out there waiting for you. 🙋🏻‍♀️

When I got back from Bali last year I felt bereft and stripped of the sense of community I’d found in my two short months there. Ubud is a place that seems engineered, created for connection and I found that in a women’s group and an amazing book club that I became a part of while staying there.

When I got back, I was so sad to leave that behind but I also thought: why should the same thing also not be possible here in Cape Town?

I’ve been surrounded by an online community of readers for years now, but I wanted the IRL experience- the real deal of getting excited about a book with people who really get it and maybe also talk with their hands and enjoy a good glass of red to make it all go down that much better.

SO, I teamed up with a fellow reader to create that community and it’s been growing slowly over the past few months in our WhatsApp group and at our monthly meets. It has been truly magical, to say the least. And it’s proof that you don’t need to be an extroverted socialite to rally together a group of like-minded individuals.

I am one of the most introverted people I know and I crave my downtime and my personal space, but that doesn’t mean I don’t also love the company of other people, especially when we’re communing around similar interests.

So, what’s your community? Who do you gravitate to and how do you find them? If you haven’t found them yet, what are you waiting for??

04/10/2023

Every day I am called upon to answer for the vagaries of the human body.
People seem on the whole more interested in forcing their bodies into submission than they are in truly paying attention to what’s going on with them and where it comes from.
They want objective measurements, results and quick fixes.
“Whichever pill works fastest- give me that one!”
Every now and again I come across someone who is willing to acknowledge the multifaceted nature of the human condition, and the fact that western medicine is by no means the only answer to their problems.

In fact, I scarcely believe or agree with much of what I was taught in my traditional medical training anymore. As a doctor it may seem strange to admit this but I don’t think I’m alone in my sentiments by any means.

The more I see, the more I question whether it is possible to know anything conclusively at all. We talk about evidence based medicine like it’s the be all and end all of everything but that evidence is almost always biased, almost always skewed, usually by inflated egos and powerful market forces.

In reality we are all subject to a great mystery, but how do we embrace that when the ego gets in the way?

27/09/2023

TW: Grief & Loss

I once spoke to a woman who had recently lost her husband.

She was shaking as she said: “I feel so angry all the time. I’m even angry with God.”

She was telling me about how they did everything together, how he was her best friend. I could tell that she needed to say these things, she needed someone to listen without interrupting her- that was the real medicine that was needed in this case.

I couldn’t get those words out of my head nor the way she looked when she said them: “I am so angry. I’m even angry with God”

And then while reading something unrelated, I came across the etymology for the word “anger”. It comes from the Old Norse “angr” which means sorrow or affliction. Suddenly it made so much sense why someone who is grieving would describe themselves as being angry. Anger is an emotion that accompanies pain and loss, yet so often we try to gloss over our anger.

We tend to fear it and mask it as something more socially acceptable like sadness, disappointment or aloofness.

This is partly because of its negative connotations. Especially as women, we are discouraged from expressing emotions that are seen as negative, yet we absolutely need to if we ever hope to process and move on from the things that happen to us.

To express anger you need to:
1. Feel entitled to your emotions, this comes from holding yourself in high regard and believing that you have the right to feel anything and everything that is true for you
2. Have a safe space- a person you trust and an environment in which you feel safe to be honest about whatever you’re feeling

This sounds so basic but when you really think about it: do you allow yourself to feel everything or do you judge yourself in these moments?

07/09/2023

Playing by a different set of rules these days and finding that it suits me very well. 🎾

When you’re young (not that I’m not young anymore because I feel more youthful by the day) you sort of get given a script to follow and most of us don’t question it too much.

But then you find yourself out in the arena or on the stage (jeez I’m really mixing up my metaphors here)

Aaanyway, my point is that you need to start acting out the script and that’s the only way to find out which roles stick and which lines need to be rewritten.

Some of us will end up chucking the entire thing in the trash and going right back to the drawing board because the role to suit us has just not been written yet and you know what? I consider us the lucky ones.

📷

05/09/2023

“The world is your oyster.” 🦪

There’s so much you can do. So many options available to you.

But this, I think, is a double edged sword.

Just because you can do something, does it mean that you should?

We are born with natural talents and passions that we can choose to cultivate or ignore in favour of other motives.

Even with a hundred options available to you, you will still find that there is one that stands out above the rest. One that makes the most sense for you,

because of how we’re taught to choose our paths, it is quite likely that your first choice was not necessarily the best one for you.

And yet, the world is your oyster.
You can begin again. You can choose differently. You can redirect the course of your life at any time.

📷:

04/09/2023

Alignment is a word that gets thrown around a lot these days, and is often spoken about as if it’s something you can attain.

But it’s not something you attain, it’s something you embody.

It isn’t something you don’t have one day, and wake up with the next. It doesn’t arrive in the post like your Hogwarts letter (I WISH 🧙🏻‍♀️)

Embodiment as a process is like an elastic band that you keep stretching little by little, but on some days it will recoil a bit too. Some days will feel like taking a few steps back, and that is absolutely to be expected.

Even the baseline of what is aligned for you will keep shifting over time, as you evolve and learn and exercise the muscle of being authentically expressed.

How do you know you’re making progress then?

I think it feels different for everyone, but for me the biggest sign has been the dissolving of my triggers. Things that used to trigger me a heck of a lot in the past (eg money, relationships, career) now hold very little charge.

If you’ve started noticing these changes in yourself I would absolutely love to know about it!

I’m going to be less active on here for the next two months but in the meantime I’ll be working on a newsletter that will be all about authentic and intentional career creation (and I mean real authenticity, not the aesthetically Insta perfect kind).

Hashtags Coaching

31/08/2023

You are 100% responsible for your experience. ✨

We tend to say “so-and-so made me angry” or “they made me nervous”

But that’s not how it works. It’s only a trigger. Nobody can trigger something in you that wasn’t there to begin with.

If you don’t understand and neutralise the trigger, you’ll keep having the same reaction in slightly different situations, maybe even with different people and you’ll think one of two things:
1. There must be something wrong with me
2. There must be something wrong with other people

This happens all the time in both personal and professional relationships.

Meanwhile, it is not a defect but simply an unmet need at play.

If you want to own your life, you need to own your triggers first. To own your attachment wounds.

When you realise this, you will stop looking for someone to blame and start learning how to meet that unmet need for yourself.

22/08/2023

🔥How far out of your comfort zone should you go?

Or maybe a better question is: have you ever hitchhiked before?

Well, I have, but never in South Africa. It was in Georgia. It felt crazy, a bit scary and thrilling at the time, and it was something I’d never have tried at home.

Whenever I travel my family tends to worry about me, especially my mom. But I always tell them that I feel safer in most other countries than I do in SA.

But I don’t think it’s just about feeling safe, I think I find more of my courage the further I go.

Visiting distant corners of the world prepared me for other extreme sports, like quitting my job with no backup plan and a sizeable mortgage to my name.

Things that on paper sound ludicrous but in reality are some of the sanest, most logical decisions I ever made because for the first time they were coming from the real me, not the conditioned me.

You may think starting with a bold move is not for you, but it needs to be at least a little bold to remind you what you’re capable of.

All of this is available to you if you really want it, you just have to train yourself for it, and the training can be… unconventional, but that’s exactly why it works.

📷

20/08/2023

What you want is to bring more “lean back energy” to whatever you do.

How many times have you gotten a new job and felt relieved that you were the one they chose?

How many times have you done something you didn’t want to do for fear of the consequences, of upsetting someone with more power than you?

How often do you try to prove why you deserve something, instead of having the other person show you why you should choose them?

When you’re leaning in, trying to be good enough to measure up to someone else’s standards, you’re putting yourself at a disadvantage and taking away your own power for no reason.

These differences in power are mostly a matter of perception, and they only exist because we agree to see ourselves that way in relation to other people.

Remember that going for an interview is a bit like going on a date: you’re finding out about them as much as they’re finding out about you. You don’t need them more than they need you, and if you think you do then you’re already on the backfoot.

Remember that someone who is “superior” to you is still a colleague, and you have every right to question them if it’s warranted.

The next time you go for an interview, instead of telling them all the reasons why you’d be a good fit, ask them why they think you should join their team. Have them sell themselves to you for a change- just try it and see how it changes the way you feel about the entire interaction.

Address

Nowgong

Website

https://linktr.ee/ashleighandipatin

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