15/07/2025
Instead of illusions, REALITY!
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In the media, advertisements, and social media, we often encounter messages in which happy, smiling people have achieved quick results with the help of a certain diet, a certain health and fitness program, or exercise equipment.
→→★ These promises of quick, happiness-bringing results do not refer to the potential failures, negative reactions, or challenges that inevitably arise when we embark on a healthier lifestyle.
→→★ In other words, we are often encouraged to chase illusions without any indication of how many difficulties we will encounter along the way. So let's see things more clearly—we will spare ourselves a lot of disappointment. How?
→→★ When we begin to see a situation, a person, or ourselves more clearly, the illusions we previously held often disappear. This process can be painful, but it is also one of the keys to self-knowledge and maturity.
So if we are disappointed, it may be that we have nurtured illusions and have not seen clearly, so this clarity and insight helps us to create a more pleasant life. (Or we don't even get into "promising" situations.)
In psychology, this kind of pursuit of illusions is also called hedonistic. By definition, hedonistic activity means the pursuit of pleasure. The miracle capsule, the 5-day diet, and chasing the latest workout trend will inevitably lead to disappointment.
Hedonic activities are short-lived, require little effort, but do indeed produce pleasant feelings. On the other hand, a meaningful, principled, morally rich life requires more effort, thought, long-term commitment, and delayed gratification.
→→★ What does all this have to do with people who are already slim and muscular, happy and smiling?
People often expect to find the rainbow, the illusion, the miracle cure, the one thing that will put everything in its place.
No wonder we believe in illusions... who wants REALITY? :)
- Who would sign up for a diet that is full of long-term challenges, mental effort, and even pain?
- Who would want a diet program where we first work on our ego, which may take years and involve a lot of emotional work?
- Who would want a consumer lifestyle recommendation that requires changing 60-80% of their current habits?
→→★ When we become mature enough, we see that long-term and PERMANENT change is not a walk in the park, and we consciously choose the HARDER PATH.
This is exactly the process we need for lasting happiness and well-being. Personal development is the only path that guarantees lasting and real results.
So instead of instant gratification, what awaits us is development, which often comes in waves. During this learning process, we remain open to new methods in the world and deal with failures creatively. Ultimately, successfully dealing with failures can also be seen as a personal victory, which brings joy once again.
→→★ These victories can fuel interest in the actual process of change. It is a way to develop our perseverance as things unfold.
1. Oishi et al. (2020) note that a large part of developing lasting joy is learning to change our perspective. Instead of focusing only on the good outcome, the new perspective values the process as well as the outcome.
Managing the change process, implementing it slowly, and basing it on each person's history, preferences, and goals can help with the transition. One key factor in achieving this is to support people in developing their ability to rethink and reevaluate specific situations. "Are we sure we haven't learned from this, even if our plan didn't work out?"
2. Practicing flexible thinking can also help in dealing with negative emotional situations. It is very easy to distract ourselves with short-lived pleasures instead of spending time and mental effort on choosing a different strategy. "If it doesn't work this way, let's try something else."
The solution may be to firmly believe that these changes are possible. Long-term personal development is a lasting way to maintain your health and improve your appearance. Let's celebrate this journey together, which will bring deep, lasting happiness and well-being. (It's just harder and lasts a lifetime...).
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Used sources:
Henderson, L.W., Knight, T, Richardson, B. (2012). An exploration of the well-being benefits of hedonic and eudaimonic behavior. Journal of Positive Psychology. Vol. 8, (4). 322-336.
Oishi, S., et al. (2020). Happiness, Meaning, and Psychological Richness. The Society for Affective Science. 1:107-115.
Dunton, G.F., et al. (2023). Assessing basic and higher-level psychological needs satisfied through physical activity. Frontiers in Psychology. 14:1023556.
