02/09/2026
SU***DE AWARENESS MONTH 💜
These pictures were taken over the four months between the day that changed my life and the day I finally broke down carrying the weight of it.
The first picture was taken on 28 March 2015, just three days after the incident that triggered my PTSD for a second time.
And looking at these photographs, you’d probably never know.
I look normal.
I’m smiling.
I’m laughing.
I’m going about my life.
But only I knew what was happening underneath.
For months, I carried on. I smiled. I went out. I had fun. I went to work. I tried to be “normal”.
But behind the smile, I was slowly shutting down.
I was reliving the trauma over and over again.
My mind was stuck in something that had already happened, while everyone around me thought I was okay.
Eventually, in July 2015, I suffered a mental breakdown.
What followed was four months of EMDR treatment, learning to process what had happened and, slowly, learning how to live with it.
I eventually returned to work at the beginning of November 2015.
Looking back at these pictures now, I realise just how good I was at hiding my pain.
And that’s why I’m sharing them.
Because you cannot always see someone’s struggle.
The person laughing with you might be struggling to get through the day.
The person saying “I’m fine” might be anything but.
The person who looks like they have their s**t together might be fighting battles you know absolutely nothing about.
Please check in on your people.
Not just once.
Not just when they look like they’re struggling.
Ask twice. Listen properly. Make space for the answer.
And if you’re the person who is struggling silently, please know this:
You don’t have to keep smiling through it alone.
You don’t have to pretend you’re okay.
And asking for help isn’t weakness.
Sometimes, saying “I’m not okay” is the strongest thing you can do. 💜