16/05/2025
When I feel like beating myself up, I remind myself that she deserved to feel safe in her mind, body and heart. That her safety might have been taken from her time and time again from people she loved, but now she is safe and deserves love and softness and kindness and anything that falls short of that, has no place in her life.
Learning to feel safe in my body has taken years of ugly, messy, healing work. I feel like I have landed there, after 8 years of trying to figure it out.
A past version of me needed to work until I felt like I had nothing left, my work and training was a method to make me feel strong in a world where men had taken away the power in my mind, my body and my heart. My safety shattered through violence, force, coercion and manipulation. That s**t is real and takes years to dismantle.
I am safe now. I don’t have to always be so strong. I am safe in my body and my mind. My heart is safe.
Through yoga; on & off the mat, I have relearned who I am when everything I have been told about myself is stripped away. I have learnt to be soft with myself; treat myself with the care and attention often not found in the hands of another. Being able to sit and just feel was once an impossible idea, and is now something I relish in, something I find comfort in, it’s safe now.
It’s so much more than throwing some shapes and touching my toes; it’s complete and utter connection to myself and my needs.. something I ignored for way too long.
