Feelings Unjumbled

17/06/2026

I've been in an intense period of creation the last few weeks - finishing the feelings grid, the quiz, the webinar, the emails, the tech automations...

It's felt good in lots of ways, but has also been an emotional rollercoaster that's left me wired.

Today I decided to practice what I preach! To pause and spend some time getting back in touch with myself.

Here's a less polished, but more grounded description of the Self-Attunement Circle.

It's a space to pay attention to all those parts of us we spend so much time pushing away.

To say to our bodies, our nervous systems and our inner children "I believe you, how can I help?"

We start on Monday - check the comments for the link for more info

16/06/2026

I wrote this a while ago and haven't been sure about posting it. Not for fear of attracting hate or losing followers, but for fear of inadvertently "getting it wrong" and talking out of my lane.

But I'm seeing trans friends and people I deeply respect sharing that since the EHRC ruling on the Equality Act they are starting to not travel any distance that would involve needing a toilet break. And choosing not to access gyms and leisure centres because of the complications of using the facilities. All for simply existing in the way that is true to them.

I'm aware that me sharing a post like this to my comparatively small audience isn't going to have any grand impact. Yet in Pride month in 2026 as I'm getting more visible on here - with a message of learning to be true to what's inside - it feels important to be clear about what I stand for.

I've been thinking about the boxes we try to fit people into.

We've made two boxes: "man" and "woman" (and this was comparatively recently in history - I defer to the wonderful Anna Knight for the history lesson >> https://www.facebook.com/iamannaknight/posts/pfbid0vPthEa6ufLGas9zYdin7VhQBgx4E65aQt3nVWHbCyUUC1UbRLiZrkibMgTNaZjcJl )

Then we set up our society in a way that requires everybody to fit into one of these boxes. Right from the moment of creating their birth certificate. Even when there is actual biological uncertainty at that point - parents still have to choose a box.

And this isn't just about what's in our pants. We treat people differently depending on what box we put them in.

We expect different things of people depending on what box we put them in.

The spaces, jobs, education opportunities people can access are somewhat determined by which box they are in. Who people are expected to love is often determined by the box we put them in.

For many people, they are comfortable in their box, and content with the way the box has shaped their lives.

Other people (like me) are mostly comfortable in their box, but feel restricted by what that box dictates about how they move through the world.

Other people don't feel comfortable in their box at all. Some are clear that they would be more comfortable in the other box, and some of those are brave enough to do what they need to do to switch boxes. Others suffer on in a box that doesn't fit them, or worse.

Other people look at the two boxes available and neither of them feel right.

But what if we had never decided there were only two boxes available? What if we'd made a whole set of different boxes from the beginning, and everyone had a big range of boxes to choose from? What if every person was able to design their own box that's comfortable for them?

(To be clear - I mean box in the sense of having a recognised identity - not actual boxes!)

What if we reimagined society starting with the assumption that all these different boxes exist? (Because... they clearly do).

The more boxes we have, the more clear we can get on what we're talking about.

One pushback I see against the statement trans men are men, and trans women are women, is that this is somehow saying there's no difference between a trans woman and any other kind of women.

Clarity of language is important. Instead of arguing about whether trans women fit in the man or woman box, what if we allow for the existence of a trans woman box and a cis woman box.

They are all women, and they all have different experiences of womanhood. Both of these things can be true at the same time, without taking anything away from anyone's personal experience.

They all need to use toilets without drama.

Then, if spaces are sometimes required that are only accessible by cis women, they can be created with the explicit understanding that they are only accessible to cis women - and own that they aren't inclusive of all women.

Other spaces that are inclusive of trans women, can make it clear that they mean all women - and do the work to figure out how to *actually* be inclusive.

And other spaces can simply be gender neutral.

Then we can move onto to asking ourselves a much more interesting question - what changes do we need to make to ensure people inhabiting all boxes are able to feel safe moving through the world?

16/06/2026

It's been such an honour to work with Diversity Doodles on this project!

The more this work gets out there, the more clear it is to me that everyone's inner world is so gloriously unique and individual.
That's why I'll never be showing up saying "these are the actions to take to deal with your feelings" - always only with invitations to experiment and find out what actually works for you.

Like we learned on the webinar - for some people anger feels powerful and galvanising, but they feel lost in the face of sadness. Others have gone their whole life avoiding their anger at all costs, but feel much more in control when it comes to metabolising their grief.

Different brains really are different.

And you can see that so clearly in the way Diversity Doodles beautifully and creatively describes these feelings and brings them to life. And the contrast of these amazing pictures with how I used spreadsheets, glossaries and structure to create the more logic-brained feelings grid.

I really believe that our two approaches paired together will result in a resource with potential to help so many people figure out what their body has been trying so hard to tell them all along.

We're undoing decades of being told we're too sensitive, our feelings aren't welcome, not to be silly, that there's nothing really wrong, or other people have it worse.

But we've been lied to!

Our feelings are the most powerful compass towards our own needs, wants and values. And they're freely and constantly available to us, whenever we're ready to listen.

And yes, there can be an energetic cost in taking the time to listen to our bodies - especially after decades of pushing it all away. But it turns out that's way smaller than the energetic cost of trying to keep all our feelings squashed away.

Anyone who joins the Self-Attunement Circle will be the first to see our combined resources all put together - and will likely influence the version that will be later released more widely.

There are only 6 places left - this will be a small group so everyone will get plenty of individual input from me.

Any questions feel free to drop them here!

Feelings have never been distinct. Nor easily discernable for me. Always difficult to recognize. Delayed when they are. Only intense when present. Tangled up in each other. So much so I could not pick them out in a line up.

But they aren't absent. Or missing. They are so much easier to recognize elsewhere. In others. In situations witnessed. Just somehow lost in transit when arising from the inside out.

So I've been working on a different approach. From the outside in. In a story I'd tell if I wanted to invoke that emotion. To invoke a metaphor with meaning. One that is personally relatable, not a blanket definition.

And this is where I have been collaborating with Ellen at Feelings Unjumbled, as she brings her expertise and lived experience into striving to help those who struggle in the same, or similar ways, to myself. To tease out and explore true feelings. To learn to name them, experience them, process them, and live more in tune with them.

So I lead with my go to, as an example. Dissociation. It's my go to because it moves me away from the feelings I could not name. Or don't feel able to confront. And how do I know this is the feeling? Because this is the metaphor.

And now I can name it through that image. Through that description. Not a a physical feeling. Not in within a medical model framework. But through a metaphor of my own experience that can be translated into the understood term.

And then what feelings lie beneath that dissociation? What other feelings are actually there in other situations, underpinning other experiences? Well, there are metaphorically doodles created for those too. And these are an exploration into this different way to identify those through their own metaphorical descriptions.

These doodles will fit together with a feelings grid, created by Ellen, https://www.facebook.com/61565625824612/posts/122194471112520860/?app=fblhttps://www.facebook.com/61565625824612/posts/122194471112520860/?app=fbl
as a starting point for helping people to identify those feelings. The doodles themselves are meant as examples of those states that perhaps others relate directly to, or to simply serve as a jumping off point for others to define themselves.

Ellen has created this quiz to take as a starting point for anyone who would like to begin this journey, and the feelings grid is freely downloadable.

Her upcoming course https://www.facebook.com/61565625824612/posts/122195630060520860/?app=fblhttps://www.facebook.com/61565625824612/posts/122195630060520860/?app=fbl
will explore in more detail how we can use other methods to relate our feelings to ourselves through the exploration of different avenues, including the doodles, on a journey to seek to better understand ourselves, relate our experiences to others to fund support, and move toward better emotional regulation through that understanding and connection.

Find the feelings unjumbled quiz here https://www.facebook.com/61565625824612/posts/122194471112520860/?app=fblhttps://www.facebook.com/61565625824612/posts/122194471112520860/?app=fbl

The replay for the recent feelings webinar here https://www.facebook.com/61565625824612/posts/122195503580520860/?app=fbl

And the link for more information about the upcoming course here
https://www.facebook.com/61565625824612/posts/122195630060520860/?app=fblhttps://www.facebook.com/61565625824612/posts/122195630060520860/?app=fbl

And make sure to follow feelings unjumbled for upcoming information soon!

❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

15/06/2026

The Self-Attunement Circle kicks off in a week!

It's a deep dive into what's really going on inside.

We'll be a small group in a private online space. Using evidence based practices to explore what our feelings are really trying to tell us (it's usually not what you think!)

After four weeks you'll feel more able to process emotions, regulate your nervous system, and take care of your needs.

You'll have got to know your own unique inner world and learned the language of your feelings. Giving you access to a constant stream of information guiding you to meet your needs, pursue your desires, and act in line with your values.

Who's in? Comment CIRCLE for the link.

14/06/2026

So great to see the feelings grid finding a home in different places 💖

(Comment HOME for my feelings quiz link if you'd like a copy - you get one with the outcome)

13/06/2026

The Self-attunement Circle is a 4 week feelings deep dive in a small group setting. We start 22 June.

Together we'll build a practice of paying attention to what's really going on inside.

You'll find yourself:
- knowing what you need so you can take care of yourself
- uncovering what you really want so you can start to move towards it
- getting clear on what really matters to you so you can live in alignment with your values.

Comment TODAY for the details.

11/06/2026

Such a fabulous conversation today! I'm still processing it 💖

Comment REPLAY for a link to the replay

10/06/2026

Last chance to join me tomorrow!
I'm very excited!!
Comment FEELINGS for the link!!!

08/06/2026

Take 30 seconds for a mini check in.

And comment 30 to learn how they can add up to something life-changing!

22/10/2025

Feeling so inspired after my VIP day with Anna from The Audacious And - new frameworks for finding true self-confidence are forming in my brain.

And focusing on unmasking with H Arlo-Harris helped me feel happy to let my fingers do their thing.

Comment CONFIDENCE to join my waitlist for exciting new developments!