The Innerchild Healing Expert

The Innerchild Healing Expert I support mothers to become the conscious parents and connected partners they want to be through healing their inner child Hi!

My name is Lavinia Brown and I'm a psychodynamic coach that supports mothers to heal their inner child, integrate their past, stop history repeating itself and become the mothers THEY want to be (not who society or their families tell them they 'should' be)!

When you were born you were a blank slate. ⁠⁠Without any habits built around how best to get the attention and love you ...
01/09/2026

When you were born you were a blank slate. ⁠
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Without any habits built around how best to get the attention and love you needed from your parents. ⁠
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Habits that took into account what pleased THEM or made you more like THEM or moulded you into a version of yourself that was more in alignment with THEIR values rather than with YOUR authentic self. ⁠
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Habits such as people pleasing, being a martyr to work, becoming an A-type achiever, taking on the role of family fixer, entertainer, emotional release scape goat or family therapist. ⁠
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To shed adaptive behaviours that are not really you, you first need to realise that they are there. ⁠
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Next, it’s about creating the love and safety - from within - that you relied on from your parents (initially) and then from others.⁠
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Then, it’s about choosing differently in the moment that you need support - to lean on your inner parent (who can’t let you down) instead of on other (unreliable, unpredictable) humans.
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Adaptive behaviours served a purpose whilst you were dependent on your parents. ⁠
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But now, you are no longer dependent on anyone - you are a fully resourced adult who is capable of identifying YOUR needs and making choices that fulfill them.
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Here are some of the ways in which you can work with me when you are ready: online, self-led foundational course (Finding Freedom); online supported programme alongside twice-monthly group coaching calls (Making Peace With Your Past), or one-to-one guidance (Private Client work) ♥️

29/08/2026

There is a reason it seems like your kids are never getting enough - you are giving them more of what they are asking for but not what they really want (and can’t express)…and it’s not what you might think.

I’ve never been a fan of regret. ⁠⁠And I STILL can’t stand it when people tell you to “make the most of it because it wi...
23/08/2026

I’ve never been a fan of regret. ⁠
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And I STILL can’t stand it when people tell you to “make the most of it because it will all be over before you can blink” even though, as of last June, I now have three teenagers. ⁠
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Because the truth is, you don’t need to pine after stages that have passed. ⁠
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Yes they are super cute when they are little but they are also super demanding.

And now, I can vouch for the fact that parenting just gets easier and better. ⁠
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Not only do the days get longer and the nights shorter and calmer but their needs become so much easier to meet because you understand them so much better. ⁠
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With each year that passes, you are losing a dependent and making a friend as they grow into even more interesting little people whose complexity and individuality makes you burst with pride and joy. ⁠
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So don’t listen to those who say you only have 18 summers. Because they are not all equal. ⁠
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And the nearer you get to 18, the more fun and rewarding it gets as you get to receive the fruits of your labour not just keep on giving. ⁠
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Save this post for those days or nights that feel the most challenging. It won’t always be so high intensity - your investment will pay off in extraordinary ways ❤️

Your primary caregivers set the tone for the way you connect to yourself: ⁠⁠➡️the way you talk to yourself in your head⁠...
15/08/2026

Your primary caregivers set the tone for the way you connect to yourself: ⁠
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➡️the way you talk to yourself in your head⁠
➡️the way you accept or reject your size, shape and appearance⁠
➡️the way you feel about taking up space or retreating from the world⁠
➡️whether you feel safe or not asking for support and letting others in⁠
➡️whether you feel comfortable or not being truly yourself ⁠
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⁠Their voice became your inner voice as well as the basis for the self-limiting beliefs you hold about yourself and the behaviours you adopted in order to get your needs met (eg people-pleasing, procrastination, care-taking etc). ⁠
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The only way to reverse this and change the way you have been trained to think and act, is to REPARENT yourself. ⁠
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Which means taking a two-pronged approach: ⁠
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- MAKE SPACE by releasing the old stuck feelings you weren't able to process at the time that you had to suppress instead⁠
- FILL THAT SPACE with love, compassion and acceptance from your inner parent⁠
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This is how you embark on the route towards self-love. Which then allows you to be authentic. Which means you have the capacity to show up as a loving, authentic, mama. ⁠
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⁠Here are some of the ways in which you can work with me when you are ready: online, self-led foundational course (Finding Freedom); online supported programme alongside twice-monthly group coaching calls (Making Peace With Your Past), or one-to-one guidance (Private Client work) ♥️

14/08/2026

Efficiency is normally seen as a good thing.

After all, why wouldn’t you prefer to save energy, time and effort so that you have some left over, rather than constantly driving yourself into the ground?

But what if that desire to be more efficient was not only being driven by that reasonable desire but also by a wound?

What if efficiency was also a way to avoid the fear of not being of control? And then Bad Things might happen...

The wounded inner child (the part of you that didn’t get her needs met) is always looking to create safety via control.

Efficiency often comes into this.

Here I share my two new ‘mantras’ to help me to continue to heal the new layer of this wound which emerged this summer (in case this also resonates with you!)♥️

Your children never stop teaching you. Just as life itself is one big lesson if you can see it this way. ⁠⁠By seeing the...
11/08/2026

Your children never stop teaching you. Just as life itself is one big lesson if you can see it this way. ⁠
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By seeing the learning in whatever you are experiencing, you are learning to detach yourself from it emotionally. ⁠
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To no longer see yourself as a victim, having something done 'to' you, to no longer take things personally, to no longer feel powerless and helpless to change things. ⁠
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This is what frees you up to take back control of what you are going to do with that new insight into yourself and the room for growth it has exposed. ⁠
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It also frees up the relationship dynamic with your children to be what it IS rather than what you feel it SHOULD be.⁠
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No more unrealistic expectations. No more value judgements based on your own childhood. No more triggered reactions or feeling disrespected. ⁠
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No-one can make you feel anything. They can merely stir up old, unprocessed self-limiting beliefs from your past. ⁠
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Seeing a reaction or a behaviour as an opportunity to learn something new and show up in a more aligned way puts adult you back in charge, empowering you to take action rather than remaining stuck in a cycle of passivity. ⁠
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Try it out and see how it works : ) ⁠
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Here are some of the ways in which you can work with me when you are ready: online, self-led foundational course (Finding Freedom); online supported programme alongside twice-monthly group coaching calls (Making Peace With Your Past), or one-to-one guidance (Private Client work) ♥️

One of the most validating results of inner child healing is allowing your magical inner child to shine through once the...
09/08/2026

One of the most validating results of inner child healing is allowing your magical inner child to shine through once the wounded inner child feels safe again. ⁠
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The magical inner child is full of awe and wonder at the world. She is there for the joy, the magic, the colour, the music, the dancing, the movement, the sheer thrill of being present and experiencing sensations in her body. ⁠
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She is not attached to any form of being. She has no heavy sense of identity and who she should be. ⁠
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She doesn't carry the burden of duty or of misplaced loyalty to anyone that doesn't feel right in the moment. ⁠
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She is there for the now, for the sensations and for the thrill of being alive. ⁠
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A couple of weeks ago I chaperoned my two teenage girls to their second music 'festival'. They were so excited about going that they even persuaded me to cut short our holiday in order to attend. ⁠
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And because I got carried away by their excitement and wanted them to be proud (or to at least accept my attire) rather than be that embarassing mum archetype so I allowed them to dress me. ⁠
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This meant wearing a 'dress' that I basically hang out of - in fact, I've only ever worn it as a t-shirt, it's so short - and to make peace with the parts of my body I been on a long and arduous relationship since I was a tween: my legs. ⁠
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And not only that, to accept them in their aged form: with bumps and lumps and cellulite and saggy knees and all the delights that you notice once you hit 50. ⁠
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My first reaction was, I can't wear this at my age. They told me outfits were ageless. Then I said, I felt silly. They told me to get over myself. I said I felt like I was mutton dressed as lamb. And as teenagers, they didn't even get that bit. ⁠
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So I did for them. And then I realised I'd also done it for me. It was about time. ⁠
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And as a result, out came the magical inner child: concerned far more with the music, movement, connection and feelings available that night than how I looked or might be perceived by others. ⁠
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Let yourself be inspired by your kids, mama. I highly recommend it ❤️

You don't need to change your words or actions to be the parent your child needs. ⁠⁠You need to release whatever block i...
07/08/2026

You don't need to change your words or actions to be the parent your child needs. ⁠
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You need to release whatever block is getting in the way of you feeling self-loving enough and safe enough to be fully embodied. ⁠
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THIS is what your children are trying to connect with when they are acting clingy. This is what they they want more of when they ask you to play longer or better or want one more story or for you to pay attention more. ⁠
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They want to FEEL you. Not just see you. And presence comes from embodiment. ⁠
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This is what makes them feel safe - that you are there, that they can be freely authentic without jeopardizing your dynamic, that you are the strong leader they need when they feel like they can't cope. ⁠
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To become embodied YOU need to feel safe. Which means doing the work to move from shame to acceptance. From self-loathing or rejection to self-love and compassion. ⁠
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Good parenting stems from self-love not tactics. And that's all within reach, within you. ⁠
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Here are some of the ways in which you can work with me when you are ready: online, self-led foundational course (Finding Freedom); online supported programme alongside twice-monthly group coaching calls (Making Peace With Your Past), or one-to-one guidance (Private Client work) ♥️

I did a thing! Actually I did a couple of things. ⁠⁠I blame the full moon. Or decamping to SE Asia for a month. Or being...
05/08/2026

I did a thing!

Actually I did a couple of things. ⁠
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I blame the full moon. Or decamping to SE Asia for a month. Or being 50 and so caring alot less about what others think. Or now having three teenagers who are watching my every move and so acting with integrity counts even more. Or being able now to allow a desire to evolve over time and spot the perfect moment to act on it...⁠
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Who knows. ⁠
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Either way, this month I not only got a tattoo (after the inclination emerged over 30 years ago) making concrete a relationship with Asian dragons that I’ve been nurturing for just as long.⁠
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I made my largest ever purchase and probably my most exciting investment, in the form of a painting by my hugely talented friend Miranda Boulton (having waited for the right moment and piece for 13 years). ⁠
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And I also committed to: ⁠
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❤️truly and wholeheartedly listening to my body and acting on its needs whatever these are (however much I don’t want to hear what its communicating)⁠
❤️making my biggest ever investment in my business so that I can not only grow the community of healing mamas I support but also become the business I want to be rather than just a coach with a website⁠ ⁠
❤️finally healing my childhood se**al trauma through hypnosis so that my body no longer has to bear the consequences⁠
❤️closing our 7 year Spanish chapter by selling our house so that we can create a life that feels more in alignment with the changing needs of our family⁠
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As a Virgo, I don’t much like loose ends so bringing certain parts of my life and identity to a close and fanning emerging sparks to ignite new pathways feels very exciting. ⁠
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I’m so grateful to you mamas - my community - for joining me on this wild ride that is Becoming Yourself! ⁠
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xx⁠
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PS. Dragon fire: “Current of universal healing energy available to all humans. Dissolves the false identities behind your problems and resolves your physical, emotional, mental and spiritual issues.”⁠ Now who wouldn’t want a bit of that?

It is very common for fear and resistance to come up when considering healing your past. Such as: ⁠⁠➡️what if your heali...
01/08/2026

It is very common for fear and resistance to come up when considering healing your past. Such as: ⁠
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➡️what if your healing causes a rift between you and your parents?⁠
➡️will shining a light on how they weren’t there for you in the way that you needed them to be make you see them differently? ⁠
➡️will focusing on how some aspects of your childhood were difficult make you forget the aspects that were good? ⁠
➡️will your current relationship with your parents deteriorate if you acknowledge their part in the pain you experienced and how can you ringfence what you have? ⁠
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The truth is, acknowledging your parents as the flawed human beings (and parents) that they are (just as you are a flawed human being and parent) doesn’t detract from what you had, it enhances it. ⁠
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Focusing on the pain of your past in order, precisely, to release old stuck feelings and consciously process them, means that you will no longer be carrying them, which means they will no longer get in the way of acceptance of your parents of who they are and how they behave(d). ⁠
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The good parts aren’t forgotten, they are heightened, as your compassion for your inner child, provokes compassion for their inner children and the reasons they are the way that they are. ⁠
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Healing leads to a more meaningful and more authentic relationship based on adult you relating to adult them, rather than a dependent inner child needing them to show up in a way that they may not be able to. ⁠
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And all of this work means you are not passing stuff on to your own children unconsciously. So they don’t have to do it too.⁠
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Here are some of the ways in which you can work with me when you are ready: online, self-led foundational course (Finding Freedom); online supported programme alongside twice-monthly group coaching calls (Making Peace With Your Past), or one-to-one guidance (Private Client work) ♥️

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