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Parents that Work We support couples navigate parenthood and careers by with strong family foundations.

12/06/2026

One of the most uncomfortable parts of our latest Equal-ish conversation was talking about ambition in parenthood.

Many of us don't want less ambition.

We want to be great parents and build meaningful careers.

We want to stay healthy, nurture relationships, have hobbies and have time for ourselves.

Steve Cardwell reminded us that success doesn't mean progressing in every area simultaneously. Instead, we talked about seasons.

Sometimes family gets more attention. Sometimes work does. Sometimes maintaining your wellbeing is the priority.

We don't need to lower our standards forever. It's remembering the limits of what we can give, and having the wisdom to prioritise what matters most right now.

That raises a difficult question:

Are we struggling because life is genuinely harder?

Or because we're trying to win at every category simultaneously?

What does success look like in your current season of life?

🎧Listen to episode 41 of Equal-ish now

11/06/2026

One thing Steve Cardwell hears from fathers again and again?

Guilt.

Not because they're absent, but because they're trying to be more present.

They're at work feeling guilty they aren't with their children.
They're with their children feeling guilty about work.
They're answering Slack messages during bedtime.
Thinking about nursery pickup during meetings.
Mentally living in two places at once.

As Steve put it, modern fathers are trying to do something previous generations weren't expected to do: provide and be deeply present.

If more fathers are now experiencing the same pull between work and family that mothers have talked about for decades, could that become a catalyst for changing how all workplaces think about caregiving?

Or are we simply asking everyone to carry an impossible load?

What's your experience?

Do you think parenting guilt is becoming more equal, or are we still having fundamentally different experiences?

🎧 Listen to episode 42 of Equal-ish now with





10/06/2026

A man could probably triple his social media following if he just started posting videos of himself cleaning the kitchen before his wife got home.

This is one of those jokes that isn't really a joke from our latest Equal-ish conversation with Deliberate Dad founder Steve Cardwell.

Because somehow, in 2026, a man loading the dishwasher can still attract millions of views.

A father cleans the kitchen.
A husband tidies the house.
A man packs a lunch.
And the internet loses its mind.

Meanwhile, millions of women do these things every single day without applause, praise, or viral recognition.

The bar for fatherhood has risen in many ways. Dads are expected to be more present, more emotionally engaged, and more involved than previous generations.

But in other ways, the bar remains astonishingly low. So low that ordinary acts of adult responsibility can still be treated as extraordinary examples of fatherhood.

The question isn't whether we should celebrate involved dads. We absolutely should.

The question is: Are we celebrating genuine partnership and shared responsibility? Or are we still rewarding men for doing things we simply expect women to do?

What do you think? Has the bar for fatherhood really changed?

🎧 Listen to episode 42 of Equal-ish now with





05/06/2026

Familiar wtih the "Nag Paradox"? If you've not heard of this, you've definitely experienced it.

It goes something like this:

"Just tell me what needs doing."

So you tell them. Then they feel criticised. So you stop telling them.

Then it doesn't get done.

Then you're frustrated.

Then they ask why you didn't tell them.

And around and around you go.

The irony is, we're taught that this is what a good relationship looks like. When in reality, it's far from equal because one person carrying the responsibility for making sure everything happens and having to dish out lists like a project manager.

The challenge isn't creating a better spreadsheet or to-do list to feel like you're not "nagging", it's building a relationship where both people feel responsible and accountable.

Have you ever found yourself trapped in the nag paradox at home or work?

🎧 Listen to episode 41 of Equal-ish now





04/06/2026

The uncomfortable truth about being needed.

In our recent Equal-ish conversation, and in her book 'No More Mediocre', Laura described travelling away while her husband managed everything perfectly at home.

No disasters, no panic, everything was fine.

And instead of relief? She felt uncomfortable.

Because she realised something many of us never admit out loud:

đź’ˇSometimes we attach our value as a mother to being indispensable.

We tell ourselves we're exhausted because everyone needs us. But beneath that exhaustion can also be identity. Purpose. Importance.
Security.

If nobody needs me, who am I?

It's a difficult conversation because it asks us to look beyond what our partners are doing and examine what we might be holding onto ourselves.

Not because we want to control, or because we're trying to gatekeep. But because being needed can feel good.

Especially in a world that often undervalues care work and is pushing mother's out of the workforce.

So here's a question worth sitting with:

Have you ever struggled to let go of something because being the person who held it all together had become part of your identity?

🎧 Listen to the latest episode of Equal-ish now





03/06/2026

We all keep laughing at the same joke. But is it funny anymore?

The exhausted mum.
The clueless dad.
The wife who nags.
The husband who "helps."

It's the joke that keeps on giving....
In sitcoms.
In Instagram reels.
In stand-up comedy.
In WhatsApp groups.

And because we've seen it so many times, we've stopped questioning it.

In our conversation with Laura Danger, she shared how the pandemic exposed a huge gap between what people were experiencing behind closed doors and what social media was celebrating.

Her friends were texting:
"I'm drowning."
"I don't know how we're going to do this."
"I can't keep carrying everything."

At the exact same time, "couples comedy" accounts were posting jokes about mums parenting through illness while dads recovered from a mild cold in bed.

Everyone laughed.

But Laura started asking: What if the joke isn't funny?

What if it's normalising something that is actually hurting us?

The more we laugh at unequal relationships, the more we begin to believe they're inevitable.

And if something feels inevitable, we stop trying to change it.

So here's the question:

What relationship dynamic have we collectively accepted as "normal" that maybe shouldn't be normal at all?

🎧 Listen to episdoe 41 with author of No More Mediocre, Laura Danger





29/05/2026

“If men want to care, why are we still stuck?”

Because the data is clear:
âś” Fathers overwhelmingly say they want close relationships with their children.
âś” Men are doing more caregiving than previous generations.
âś” Parents describe caregiving as joyful, purposeful and identity-shaping.

And yet…
Families are still struggling with unequal mental loads.
Caregiving is still penalised at work.
Many dads still don’t feel fully empowered to step into care.

So what’s going on?

In this week's Equal-ish Edit, we unpack one uncomfortable truth:
Wanting to care and being socially supported to care are two very different things.

You cannot solve systemic problems with individual good intentions alone.

When workplaces only offer token leave…
When men are still socially rewarded for prioritising work over caregiving…
When mothers are still expected to hold the invisible logistics of family life…
Equality becomes something families are expected to “figure out” privately.

And that pressure is crushing parents.

🎧 Listen to episode 40 of Equal-ish now




28/05/2026

At the end of this week’s Equal-ish Edit, Kate shared something that hit us both emotionally.

She described feeling completely overwhelmed by everything sitting on her plate.

And when she tried talking about it with her partner, he moved into problem-solving mode.

Offering solutions.
Trying to fix it.
Trying to make it better.

While this is a wonderful sign of love, quite often what we really need is much simpler.

“I just want you to listen.”

Not advice.
Not silver linings.
Not productivity hacks.

Just another human willing to witness the weight we're carrying.

Sometimes the greatest relief isn’t having our load removed. It’s just not feeling like we're carrying it invisibly and alone.

In a world obsessed with fixing, optimising and coping better…
there’s something profoundly human about simply saying:

“I see how much you’re holding.”

If someone in your life is overwhelmed right now:
maybe you don’t need the perfect answer.

Maybe presence is enough.

🎧 listen to episode 40 of Equal-ish now





27/05/2026

One of the biggest reflections we had after speaking to Professor Leah Ruppanner:

What if we stop assigning the mental load as a “women’s issue”?

Because right now, that's what most conversations and content about mental load are targeting.

And what if that framing is actually limiting the conversation?

What Leah’s work opens up is something much bigger:
Every human carries a mental load.

The emotional labour.
The financial pressure.
The invisible planning.
The constant anticipation.
The decision fatigue.
The overwhelm.

Some loads are heavier.
Some are different.
Some are deeply gendered.

But if we only frame mental load as “mum life”, we risk missing the opportunity to create language EVERYONE can connect to.

Maybe the goal isn’t comparing mental loads.
Maybe the goal is finally being able to SEE them.

To say:
“This is what’s sitting on my plate.”
“This is what I’m carrying.”
“This is why I feel overwhelmed.”

Not to compete.
Not to defend.
But to understand each other better.

This conversation completely shifted how we think about the future of the mental load conversation, and where it could go next.

What do you think?
Has “mental load” become too associated with our gendered definition of motherhood for people to fully engage with it?

🎧 Listen to episode 40 of Equal-ish where Kate and I reflect on our last few conversations





22/05/2026

One of the strongest takeaways from our conversation with Danny Mercer from the National At-Home Dad Network was this:

The mental load is not inherently female. It belongs to whoever is carrying responsibility.

Danny, who has been the primary caregiver for his four children for the last 16 years, described the relentless nature of being the default parent:
• who needs socks
• whose birthday party is coming
• what time practice ends
• who needs feeding
• which permission slip is missing
• when the next appointment is booked

The constant invisible tracking, the cognitive labour, the emotional management.

“It will burn you out. Period.”

Not because men are weak.
Not because women are naturally better at it.
Not because some people are built for caregiving and others aren’t.

But because no human being is designed to carry relentless invisible labour without support, appreciation and recovery.

Danny’s story powerfully challenges the idea that women are somehow biologically wired for the mental load.

Instead, it suggests something else: women have simply been expected to carry it for generations.

And when men fully step into the same role?
They experience many of the exact same pressures:
• identity loss
• exhaustion
• resentment
• invisibility
• burnout
• financial dependence
• lack of appreciation

The mental load isn’t a women’s issue. It’s a caregiving issue.

And until we start treating caregiving as real labour — emotionally, socially and economically — families will continue to struggle under its weight.

🎧Listen to Danny’s incredible and heartfelt story in episode 39 now and let us know what you thought.

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