02/10/2022
💜I used to feel so unhappy in my body and mind, I was constantly trying to out train what I would eat, restrict my eating, ignore my body's needs, abuse her, bully her, shame her and torture myself mentally. My inner voice was so mean and hateful, I would rarely look at my naked body in the mirror, rarely touch or connect to myself, feeling constantly disappointed with how I looked and feeling like a constant failure as a woman. My need to control what I ate was exhausting and unrealistic, plus I would feel so much shame and loathe when I would eat in general let alone when I would binge. I rarely had any fun, from fear of letting go of control of what I would eat and not trusting myself with my choices, imprisoning myself and being totally antisocial. My weight, my body and my shape was always a negative to me. I would pride myself on punishing myself with pain, ignoring my need for rest, pushing myself to burnout and being so rigid with my food choices. I bored myself sh*tless, never feeling satisfied or alive unless I was hurting myself with extreme exercise. Drama and conflict followed me and I felt empty, emotionless and unloved.
💙Externally I appeared confident and bold, yet inside I was void, anxious and depressed. My vibe was so low and entangled with medications, pain killers, binge cycles and self hate. Life felt repetitive, stagnant and seemed pointless, each day was long and draining and then YOGA came into my world. Something awoke in me, an opportunity to explore my body, get out of my head, get curious, creative and my energy began to feel different, playful and lighter. Yoga brang fun challenges, a different kind of strength, patience and exploration. I began to connect to myself and my external life began to mirror how my yoga practice deepened. I felt magical when I was in my yoga practice and when heartbreak hit me, Yoga pulled me through, I didn't need anyone, just me and my practice to get me through the darkness, it gave me hope, freedom and power to be me. I felt united with myself, I was coming home to myself and I was able to slowly let go of my old ways of punishing my body. Things were shifting yet I still kept myself in the fast lane with how I lived my life and found it a challenge to slow down, needing medication and w**d to sleep at night, however Yoga allowed me space to make some changes.
💛In Sept 2020 I hit rock bottom from another heartbreak and this time Yoga just didnt cut it on its own, my medication wasnt working any longer and I couldn't sleep at night. I was spiralling out of control and my anxiety had returned with a vengence, darkness was suffocating me and I couldnt see the woods for the trees. Ironically it was the happiest and most accepting I had ever felt in my body however the pain of the heartbreak was so deep I couldnt escape or bypass this pain. One night a good friend insisted I try some breathwork technique as I was such a wreck and that one session changed my life overnight. Breathwork became a daily practice morning and evening, helping me ride through the anxiety, helping me to sleep and eventually allowed me to come off all my medications and stop relying on w**d. Breathwork then led me to meditation which is also a daily practice now, grounding me and changing my life beyond belief.
💚These daily rituals of breathwork and meditation alongside my Yoga taught me I could ride any wave, breaking me free of so many control factors and I am flexible with how long and when I do my practices as I became so adaptable. When Yin Yoga then got added to my mix of magic tools, life just made so much sense. I finally began to really slow down, embrace the beauty of patience and compassion, opening up the channels for my emotions and begin to heal my body on so many levels. Everything that I had blocked and numbed out, ran from, ignored and stuffed down with food began to gently surface for me to feel, heal and release. I am fully equipped with my tool box of practices and adding Kundalini now to the mix, my warrior mode stepped in, helping me navigate peacefully as I continue on this path of exploration. My heart is slowly opening and yes it has been painful at times, testing and scary, however it has been the most alive and empowered I have ever felt, stepping into my soverignty, shedding old stories and limiting beliefs. My eating habits have become intuitive and the relationship I now have with my body and food has totally transformed.
🧡All of these disciplines and practices have burst my creativity open, awoken my awareness and given me the confidence to take total responsibilty for myself, I show up for myself and listen to my wants and needs finally. Each day I feel stronger, braver and loved. My spirituality is peaking through and I find my balance. I am calm, I am grounded and I am supported. I trust in divine wisdom and divine knowledge. I protect my energy and I look after me.
🦋I am here to guide us through the rollar coaster of life, the ups, the downs, the anxiety, the overwhelm, the fear, the worry and I am here to help us step into FREEDOM to enjoy being who we are, letting go of the old hurts and make them into our strengths, bringing us PEACE, FLEXIBILITY and SELF LOVE. Lets raise our vibrations and be who we came here to be. Let's have fun, get creative and explore who we are, no judgments, no more critism, just open hearts, open minds and open bodies. Welcome October, we focus on BALANCE, HARMONY and ADAPTABILITY. The new schedule has been created to bring STRENGTH, WISDOM, HEALTH, YOUTH, JOY and PROTECTION.
💖All classes are recorded and available on catch up too with your subscription 😘 Classes commence Sunday 9th Full Moon in Aries workshop and from Monday 10th October weekly timetable as below
https://www.themercadomethod.co.uk/
