13/05/2022
So, it's 10.10 on the evening of Friday 13th May and today has been such a difficult day. I've been sitting outside in the stillness of the moonlight evening after a particularly windy day and I was perched on a tractor tyre next to the mound where I have just had to lay my equine partner of 27 years and famous armed post office robber chasing pony, Mr Smiffy to rest.
I have been thinking of the difference between an equine partner and a regular horse and Mr Smiffy summed it up..... he knew he had learned his responsibilities and for the most part, he took them on. I didn't have to worry about him when I was asking him to be a 'pony up pony' to es**rt clients out to the beach or cross country training courses or farm hacks etc. When out riding and leading my other horses off of him, he was a true partner, often pinning his ears at them if they even dared to get in front of him! His training had helped him become reliable and I knew that he only did the things required of him because I had asked him to and he trusted me enough to not ask the questions that he was not capable of doing.
In the words of Karen Rolphe 'Is it fair, reasonable and possible to for him to do?' Since hearing Karen Rohlf teaching that, I have always taken that into consideration.
Over the 27 years of his life here with me on the Romney Marsh, he has always been the herd leader, right up until today, when even though his fragile weak and wobbly legs wouldn't allow him to drive my big 17hh french horse Louie away from the best grass as I'd opened up the electric fencing he still managed a feeble outstretched neck and ears pinned to drive Louie away. Louie moved.....of course.
I hope I have given my other two horses, Louie and Willow enough time today to realise that their herd leader has passed over. They had been calling out earlier and so that is why this evening, I sat with them in their field right by the spot that Mr Smiffy has been laid to rest. It took a good long while before they felt brave enough to mooch on over and see why I was perched on this tractor tyre. And of course I had treats in my pocket and then the licking of my hand and much chewing and more licking began taking place.
For the first time in recent weeks I allowed myself to actually observe the remaining two horses on my holding and how they were intereacting with each other in times of change. Change is the only constant thing we have.
I am so grateful for the support of some wonderful friends and teachers who I know are in it for the horse and these include Edwina Gray, the absolute best craniosacral equine (and human) therapist in the land. It was she who confirmed my fears that Mr Smiffy was in such pain and supported me in my decision to release him from his pain (and trust me, I tried everything including 3 bute/day, essential oil therapy, and Bush Flower Essence Therapy from my lovely friend Debbie Short, also known as The Essence Practioner. Nothing made any difference. It was not arthritis and definitley not laminitis as confirmed by my fabulous farrier Sam Pilkington who has been sterling in his support over the years for this fabulous pony.
But in the end, his 27 years got the better of him and I wasn't prepared to put him through the stab and jab investigations of him to find out the true cause of his inabiltiy to continue life as a prey animal, which of course is what all of our equine friends are. It is simply not OK for a prey animal to be in that much pain that they cannot run from perceived danger. In the wild, their integral being simply would not allow that to happen.
And so, it was with a heavy heart and such gratitude that the lovely vet Sunna ( I really really hope I have spelt her name right) from Lingfield East Vets based in Stelling Minnis, agreed to come out and help me end Mr Smiffy's suffering. ( I shall be promoting this equine vets practise to my clients in that area)
And then onto the immense gratitude I feel for Tom Reynolds who did the very final responsiblity of digging a hole big enough in which to lay Mr Smiffy to rest. His 12 year old son Quinn is the next generation of natural horsemen that I have the privilege of coaching and it makes my heart melt when I watch how brilliantly he is bringing on his 6 year old pony, Mallow.
So sad times for a while when I catch myself thinking of Smiffy and how he really was the epitome of everything we can ask of our horse without being egotistical. And for those of you who do not know how Mr Smiffy and I spent our first four years together then may I suggest that you give yourself 18 minutes to watch my Tedtalk that I was so lucky to give four years ago. I've included the link so you don't have to look for it:-) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uM9NAjSE5bo&t=3s
I am quite sure I will have more lessons that Mr Smiffy taught me, but for now I will leave you with a time when on a three day clinic with Liesbeth Jorna, Mr Smiffy had given me so much in the first two days that he had nothing left in the tank to give me on the third day and I was frustrated to the point that I was crying and complaining to Liesbeth that I was lost and didn't know what to do to get the 'magic back' and her reply was 'That's OK Cathy, If you want to carry on crying and riding, then carry on'
That has stuck with me since that day and it is so true, although today I am not riding, just crying. And there is nothing wrong with that at the appropriate time.
My equine partner is suffering no longer and when their time comes, that is the best that all of us horse lovers can hope for:-)
Mr Smiffy, you have been great. Thank you:-)
