24/03/2020
Not choosing to leave is a choice to stay. Let's pretend that our life is a roadtrip in the car: we start out as toddlers in the backseat, sometimes with siblings by our side, and our parents or guardians drive us around. They teach us what they know about the road, prepare us for possible hazards up ahead, and point us in the direction they would like us to take on our own someday.
Around 18 years of age, we get out of our parents' car and into our own. We either take the onramp they have chosen for us to begin our journey, mimic their driving style, pace, and destination, or we peel out and speed in the opposite direction. Either way, we are now in control of our lives, where we go, and how fast we get there. More often than not, our lives are actually a complex combination of our own personal drive, parental influence, some peer pressure, fear, compromise, circumstantial obstacles, and a dash of luck, synchronicity, or fate, depending on what you believe.
Decades later, some people are still on the same road that their parents have chosen for them while others have taken many detours and dirt roads not listed on any map. At the same time, millions of people abandon their vehicles altogether, get on a bus or train instead, and just sit there, riding it to wherever it goes. They have essentially relinquished all control over the speed or destination of their lives, sometimes until the very last stop.
In many ways, that last choice is very appealing: everything is predetermined, there are very little surprises, and you can surf the web or watch TV while the conventional train chugs along.
In the old days, all we ever saw were the people immediately around us, so we always felt like everyone was on the same train or driving down the same road as us. But now we have social media and YouTube, for example, which means we regularly see pictures and videos that other people share from their own path, and suddenly we're exposed to how different life can be.
The moment we stop blaming other people for the way we choose to live our lives (our parents or kids, most frequently), we discover a lot more options available to us than we ever thought were possible (some more than others). And I'm not suggesting there is a "right" or "wrong" way to go about life, only that it's imperative to remember two things: 1. At some point we made a choice, and 2. Each day we make another choice to either keep making that choice or to change direction.
It's important that we never feel stuck or victimized, even if we've been on the same bus for many years, or on a road that we wish was different. First: acknowledge that you chose to get on the conventional train, for example, and admit that you've also chosen to stay on it for as long as you have. But as of right now, do you choose to stay the course, or will you choose to get off the bus?
Every once in a while, we need a reminder to check-in with ourselves. Are we still living the life we want? Is our job fulfilling us the way we thought it would? Is there anything on the back burner that needs to move to the front (or something on the front that can either be moved back or off altogether?)
When you ask yourself those questions, if your answer is "Yes, I love my life." If there's nowhere else you'd rather be and nothing else you'd rather be doing, that's fantastic! Keep doing what you're doing. But if your answer motivates you to make a change, remember that just because you were born somewhere, it doesn't mean you have to stay there. As the old saying goes: If you don't like where you are, then move. You're not a tree :)
Every offramp, bus stop, or train station offers new opportunities. I know you're scared and thinking, "What if everything goes wrong?" But what if it doesn't? As the adage goes, "The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it." So replace your fear of the unknown with curiosity, and make the most out of life because it passes very quickly. What are you waiting for?
