09/07/2026
I spent years thinking I had to earn the right to become the woman I wanted to be.
For most of my life, I believed effort was how you became the person you wanted to be.
Work hard. Grow. Become capable. Prove yourself.
What I never realized was that I had applied the same rule to my identity.
More confidence first. More healing first. More certainty. More proof.
As though eventually I would have enough evidence to say, Okay. This is who I am now.
But what if we have some of that backwards?
What if you decide who you want to be, and then start making choices that match?
That made me think about something else too.
The stories I have repeated about myself for years:
I am too sensitive.
I am not confident.
I am too old to start again.
I am just the kind of person who...
The words that follow “I am” matter.
Repeat something about yourself for long enough and you start looking for proof that it is true.
And some of those stories may not have started with you at all.
Someone criticized you.
A relationship changed how you saw yourself.
You were given a label when you were young.
You became who you needed to be at the time.
So instead of asking:
“How do I become someone new?”
I have been sitting with a much better question:
Which parts of who I think I am are actually true now, and which stories am I ready to stop carrying?
And questioning the stories you have believed about yourself is really only the beginning.
It is one of the things I’m exploring inside Inner Bloom this month, and I already know this one is going to stay with me.
Who have you been saying you are? 🌸
