12/21/2025
If you’re Asian and hyper-focused on your career, you’ll probably resonate with this.
We were raised to believe success comes first.
Get the degree.
Get the job.
Make your parents proud.
Everything else can wait.
Your body can wait.
Your relationships can wait.
Your happiness can wait.
So you grind.
I did the same thing.
Chased the “right” path.
Built the credentials.
Got a doctorate degree
Became the UFC physical therapist.
From the outside, it looked like I won.
But my health suffered.
And more quietly my relationship took a back seat.
Not because I didn’t care.
But because I was so focused on that one element of what I thought was success
My career
What no one tells you is this:
You don’t lose relationships all at once.
You lose them slowly… through distraction.
Through being tired.
Through being mentally elsewhere.
Through always chasing the next thing.
And here’s the truth most high-achieving Asians don’t want to face:
When your body is neglected, your nervous system is wrecked.
When your nervous system is wrecked, you can’t be present.
And when you’re not present, the people you love feel alone, even if you’re sitting right beside them.
Leaving that career broke me open.
I felt empty.
Unfulfilled and very lost
Not because I failed.
But because I was so focused on building society’s definition of success
I moved away from my partner for 3.5 years for school and then did it again for my career
Fitness wasn’t about abs for me.
It was about reclaiming self-respect.
It gave me my energy back.
My calm back.
My ability to actually be there as a partner, not just a provider.
When you build yourself and focus on becoming your best version
You become the version who can:
• slow down
• regulate their emotions
• show up fully
• lead with calm confidence
• love without being distracted
If success costs your health and your relationship, it’s not success.
It’s just inherited pressure running your life.
And you’re allowed to choose something different.