07/30/2026
There’s more than one way to say goodbye.
Most people picture scattering cremated remains (aka “ashes”) into a body of water, or letting them fly into the wind, or keeping an urn on the mantel. But there’s another way that doesn’t get talked about as much: trenching.
A trenching ceremony involves digging a hole in the earth, choosing a spot that’s meaningful, placing the remains into the ground, covering them with soil, then marking the spot with flowers, maybe a letter or note, or a natural marker that honours the experience.
Today, I helped my dad release the remainder of his dear friend. We had an ocean scattering ceremony last weekend (see Seeking Ceremony 💛🖤 for the full story) but there was a lot of cremated remains to deal with and he didn’t know what to do with them.
So I went into our forest, found a quiet spot away from people and growing vegetation, and dug a hole. I placed the remaining ashes inside, covered them with soil, and chose flowers from our garden: yellow roses for friendship, pink roses for love, white hydrangeas for peace, and rosemary for remembrance. The same flowers from our scattering ceremony.
It was simple and it was meaningful. Not holding on to the grief, but releasing of it ~ letting it move through us, the way grief needs to.
⬇️
What have you done with cremated remains? Where have you sent them, or laid them to rest? Let’s normalize these stories and inspire people with options!
Also ~ my dear friend Christa Ovenell | Death Educator offers a free webinar on what to do with cremated remains if you want more ideas 💞