06/03/2026
This life is equal parts magic and struggle. It has the highest highs but the lows can really topple you. This weekend we had an accident on the farm. My precious, clingy, screaming goat kid Rupert died in an accident. It was sudden and catastrophic. He passed in my arms.
When our goat Brian died in April, it was after an illness. I was relieved he was out of pain. Then our horse Griffin died a few weeks ago. I was so worried about everyone else's feelings, I pushed all the grief down and tried to keep going. It was hard, but I stumbled through. We had new kittens to distract me. I just kept grinding.
But Rupert? I raised him from a few days old. He's been my constant clingy, loud, demanding companion for the past 12 weeks. I was doing chores, tripping over him every 2 minutes...And then he was gone. I lost it. Every bit of grief I tried to push down came surging forward. I sobbed in the midst of no less than 9 horses, all trying to comfort me. I collapsed in the field, overcome. But I live on a farm, and there are always things to be done. I still had to fill troughs, corral the horses into their fields for the night. The barn cats had to be fed, the gates closed and the chickens checked on. Ronan still needed his nightly bottle. I dug a grave as the sun set and buried my little "Rooper-booper". I thanked him for his love and trust. I cried some more. Through the tears I searched Kijiji for a 12-week old goat kid. Ronan has never been without another kid companion, and I wanted to reduce his stress of losing his friend.
At midnight, I confirmed a purchase of a new goat kid and went to bed. The next day we drove 4 hours and brought home Gary. He's sweet and cute and fitting in well. He's not a replacement for Rupert, but he's a great new addition and I'm definitely falling in love with him.
With highs and lows, this life is not for the faint of heart.