28/09/2026
😝😊😂😂 bit t of morning humour
South African officials announce sweeping changes to rugby history, as scores of Test defeats mysteriously disappear overnight.
By Percival “Percy” Puddleton, Award-Winning Rugby Journalist — The Daily Knock On
South African rugby officials have announced a groundbreaking new initiative under which every previous Springbok Test defeat will retrospectively be classified as a match played by the South African B team.
The announcement was made yesterday by SARU’s newly created Director of Historical Squad Classification, Dr Koos “Kobus” van Boksburg, who explained that the decision would immediately bring South Africa’s historical record into line with what supporters have apparently been saying for years.
“We have conducted an exhaustive review of every Springbok loss,” explained van Boksburg. “And after considerable investigation, we have discovered that the players involved were not the real Springboks.”
Asked who they actually were, he paused.
“The B team.”
The policy will apply retrospectively to every defeat in South African rugby history, including matches where the losing side contained numerous experienced internationals.
According to SARU’s Minister for Retrospective Selection, Ockert-Johan van der Thunderpants, the process is remarkably straightforward.
“If South Africa lost, it wasn’t the A team. If South Africa won, it was absolutely the A team. This is basic squad management.”
NEW SYSTEM
Under the new regulations, all future Tests will initially be classified as “provisional rugby” until the final whistle.
If South Africa wins, the match immediately receives Full Test Status.
If South Africa loses, officials will review the squad and determine whether it was actually the B team, C team, Development XV, Experimental XV, “injured-but-technically-available XV” or “that side we were basically using to see what happens.”
Springbok supporter Braam “Bokkie” Boerewors-Bliksem welcomed the announcement.
“I’ve been saying this for years. We haven’t really lost anything. We’ve just occasionally sent the wrong team.”
Another supporter, Pieter-Johan van Tryline, agreed.
“The only confusing part is that sometimes I remember watching our best players playing.”
Officials said this was easily explained.
“Those were our best B-team players,” he replied.
Historians have reportedly raised concerns that the new policy could require the rewriting of thousands of record books.
SARU dismissed those concerns.
Meanwhile, World Rugby has reportedly been asked whether historical Test records can simply be amended with Tippex.
The organisation has yet to respond.
SARU officials insist the new system will bring much-needed clarity to international rugby.
“From now on, there will be no ambiguity,” said van Boksburg.
“South Africa either wins with the A team, or loses with somebody else.”
Percival “Percy” Puddleton
Award-Winning Rugby Journalist
The Daily Knock On
