01/04/2020
“Drink from the well
of yourself
and begin again”
: Charles Bukowski
Tried four times today to film some juicy yoga flows. Left my mat feeling like I had failed about ten more. To start the day with such vigour, hope, positivity, enthusiasm and joy only to crash in a pile of inadequacy, despair, grief, sadness and an overwhelming imposter syndrome. I’m flirting between wanting to use this time to be creative and the other half refusing to let go, resisting giving up my boss hat. I believe this time is a time of surrender. A time for rest and rejuvenation. A time to awaken parts of ourselves which have been flattened by the bustle of the hustle and the need to get it right. More than ever it is a time to slow down and tune in in to what really matters. I know this but my conditioning is making it hard for me to live it. I have a hall pass to dig deeper within my Self and I’m currently too scared to use it. So I lay here on my bed, exhausted from a day of over thinking and stare at this photo of myself from a time when I last filled my cup, properly, truely, with the things that light me up. Rediscovering my sense of Self is exactly what the doctor ordered. Filling up my cup. Allowing my Kylie-ness to over flow. Okay, some of that then we are good to roll 🤙💫