Janine Defontaine

17/06/2026

If your brain wants to curl up in a ball and become a weighted blanket, this one’s for you.

Winter has well and truly arrived, and my ADHD/AuDHD brain has entered hibernation mode.

The cold is rude.
The dark mornings? Uncalled for.
The transitions are dramatic.
The sensory stuff is sensory-ing.

Side eye to the woolly cardigan I put on today that has been itching my neck for hours, while I have mostly ignored it, despite knowing full well I’ll probably end up with red claw marks later.

Could I take it off? Yes.
Have I? No.
Why? Great question. Please submit it to the executive function department, currently offline for maintenance.

Lunch today was packet soup.
Was it fancy? No.
Was it warm? Yes.
Did I need to be heated from the inside out? Absolutely.

This is your reminder that winter hibernation mode doesn’t mean you’re lazy.

Sometimes your capacity has shifted, and your expectations haven’t caught up yet.

So instead of asking, “Why can’t I do the thing?”

Try:

“What’s the smallest version of this that still counts?”

Shower too hard? Wash your face.
Exercise too much? Do one stretch.
Cooking impossible? Packet soup counts (or my personal fave - grilled cheese on toast).
Admin overwhelming? Open one email. Just opening it counts.

Freya, my rescue Doberman and unofficial VA, would like to add that she also has opinions about textures, baths and being asked to transition before she is emotionally prepared.

So, she gets it.

What’s your winter brain making weirdly hard right now? Freya and I are accepting submissions!

Pictured: me, still wearing the itchy cardigan. Because apparently taking it off was too many steps.

08/06/2026

This is Freya and me during my recent time off, after her diabetes diagnosis, meditating together on the bed.

Not exactly a glossy “content creation” moment.

But maybe that’s the point.

I’ve been thinking a lot about visibility, writing, marketing, and how to stay connected without self-combusting — especially as someone with an AuDHD brain that can go all-in, disappear into the mist, then return like I’ve been hiding in a cupboard.

So I’ve started writing again.

Not with a grand comeback.
Not with a 12-part content strategy.
Absolutely not with a Reel.

Just reflections.

My first new blog post is called Visible, But Not Combusting — about returning to writing, staying visible without burning out, and building a more sustainable relationship with creativity, marketing, and neurodivergent identity.

Check it out here: https://janinedefontaine.com/visible-but-not-combusting/

14/05/2026

This week I had the privilege of delivering two Neurodiversity workshops for MIFWA.

Monday: Supporting Neurodivergent Staff — a 2-hour workshop for people leaders. Eight managers showing up genuinely curious, asking honest questions, and leaving with real things to take back to their teams, like ‘Checking in with people who go under the radar’ and ‘Being more curious and open to different brains’.

Thursday: Thriving at Work — Neurodivergent Style. A 3-hour session for peer workers and staff. Twelve people. Feedback like 'mask less' and the value in ‘real conversations’ and people sharing their lived experiences … that I'll be sitting with for a while.

Across both sessions, what stood out most wasn’t just the strategies or frameworks — it was the honesty and openness in the room.

We talked about things like:

• overwhelm and burnout
• masking and exhaustion
• unclear expectations and hidden labour
• capacity vs capability
• sustainable ways of working
• practical supports that actually help

But we also talked about strengths, self-understanding, flexibility, curiosity, and the importance of creating workplaces where people feel safe to work differently.

Personally, I left both workshops feeling incredibly grateful. AND I'm not wiped out, brain-fried. or non-verbal. I'm feeling tired but also pretty damn uplifted!

Working with MIFWA always feels like coming home — I’ve worked with them for a number of years across my career in varying capacities. And it really lifted my heart to see some familiar faces in the room :)

Thank you again to everyone who attended, contributed and supported so generously.

Two workshops. Twenty people. One very full heart 💝

22/04/2026

Freya doesn’t always rest perfectly.

She’ll push through if there’s a ball involved; high drive, easily distracted, and carries her own history.

But over time, she’s learned what helps her settle:

- A fluffy blanket.
- Sensory roles on the grass.
- Snuggles on the couch.

She comes back to those things, again and again.

Not perfectly. But consistently.

And I think that’s what regulation actually looks like. Finding what works for you. Not getting it right all the time. Just learning what helps, and returning to it.

Still learning from her, every day!

20/04/2026

“Just push through.” It’s one of those phrases that sounds helpful. Motivating, even.

And sometimes, it can be.

But as a long-term strategy? It’s not particularly sustainable.

And especially if “pushing through” isn’t something you do occasionally, but something you’ve built your life around. Which plenty of us ADHD and AuDHDers have done - through no fault of our own (been there, many times!).

The issue isn’t effort or capability.

The issue is what happens from the constant pushing and ignoring any warning signs.

You end up with:

• bigger crashes
• longer recovery time
• multi-systemic symtpoms (think whole of body and mind)
• and a cycle that becomes harder to interrupt

There’s a different way to approach this. And it's not by removing effort altogether.

But by identifying and working with your capacity, not against it. And by building in strategies and supports that mean you don’t have to rely on pushing through just to get by.

15/04/2026

Pics from a recent long weekend.

Exploring somewhere new on an impromptu lunch date with hubby, trying Korean tapas for the first time (highly recommend Seoul Hoppers - Korean Tapas Bar Leederville), and walking into a place where the service was so warm we left feeling like family.

Followed by a wander through a record and bookstore… which is a slightly dangerous combination for me.

Came home with:

– a small stack of books to add to my reading collection
– a Nina Simone album
– and a growing curiosity for jazz and blues

There’s something about these slower, more tangible moments lately — good food, music, books, time together — that just feels… grounding and so good!

07/04/2026

I’ve been thinking a lot about something I saw recently — the idea that Autistic people “can’t rest”… that we’re wired to keep going, to push through, and that’s just how we are.

And while that can feel true, it’s not the whole story.

The “we all…” statements, even when well-intentioned, can flatten a lot of nuance, and leave people feeling like they don’t quite fit or that this is the only way to be.

I felt this myself when I was first diagnosed with ADHD. At first, there was a sense of relief — like I’d found something that finally made sense.

But over time, I started to feel a disconnect. What I was seeing didn’t fully reflect my experience… and I found myself feeling like I didn’t quite belong there either. (Later came some more answers in the form of Autism and C-PTSD)

(And honestly, more exhausted than before.)

What I’ve learned since is this:

Rest is a skill.

It’s not always intuitive.
It doesn’t look the same for everyone.
And it’s not about forcing yourself into rigid routines or idealised “self-care”.

It’s about:

✔️ understanding your patterns and capacity
✔️ building supports and tools around you
✔️ creating space to regulate, restore and reset

Slowly. Safely. In ways that actually work for you.

Because pushing through isn’t sustainable.

And we don’t need to earn rest by burning ourselves out first.

Full post on the blog:

There's a difference between "this is how my brain works" and "this is a dysregulated state." On learning rest as a skill, not through burnout.

03/04/2026

It’s Autism Awareness Month. And if I’m honest, I have growing mixed feelings about “awareness”.

Awareness without understanding doesn’t change much.
Awareness without acceptance can still feel isolating.
For me, it’s about more than awareness.

It’s about lived experience, meaningful change, and feeling comfortable in our own skin — with the understanding and support around us.
It’s about connection.
It’s about not feeling so alone in something that can often feel isolating.

That’s why I’ve always shared my story — even before I had the language for it.

Because many workplaces — and much of the world — still aren’t designed with neurodivergent people in mind.

For me, this has never been about a month.

It’s about how we genuinely live, work, and support each other every day.

I’ll be sharing a few reflections over the next few weeks as part of that ongoing conversation — and you’re always welcome to share your thoughts too, here or via DM.

27/02/2026

Neurodivergent life. Its all about transitions. Throughout your day. At the end of your day. From one environment to the next. From task to task. Interaction to interaction.

A real big non-coaching call, intensive and motivated computer writing and social media marketing day today, combined with hubby at home from lunchtime, air con man (its fixed yay!) and lots of end of month stuff before a few days off.

Brain is fried.
Eyes are heavy (we joke that my ‘left eye’ is a sign i overdid it or need a break as it goes kinda droopy)
I was irritable when i finished.
Severe stomach issues interrupted my morning (fu #% gluten)
Verbalised to my hubby and (the latter who didn’t care) that i was a bit fried and cranky and needed transition time before i could verbalise or really be social.

30 minutes on the grass, listening to the parakeets, feet stretches in the grass, throwing ball for freya, and a small glass of wine. Slowly recalibrating and looking forward to a few days off the computer.

These are my realities and why i simply cannot push anything near like i used to nor should i. Today i was in flow so i allowed it. But i know this cant be an everyday thing as the consequences on my brain and self are too great.

Side-note (cause i love a good side note); who can type on the iPhone keyboard anymore! Every second word 😆😆🤔😒😡

Have a great and restfully restorative weekend all!

23/02/2026

"Just because something is good for you doesn't mean it's good for YOUR body."

Last year I started reformer Pilates.

Everyone said it would help with stability [especially for someone who's hypermobile]. And it seemed like the right choice.

But then I started noticing something.

I'd leave class feeling shaky, tearful, really fatigued — sometimes unable to stop crying (like, real messy 'end of the world' crying).

My body (and brain) was trying to tell me something.

Deep down I knew something wasn’t right. (and it wasn't because of 'hormones').

So I stopped. And it felt like failure at first. I'd paid for classes. I'd committed. I'd told people I was doing it.

But here's what I've learned: building a healthier life with ADHD isn't about following the "right" advice or optimising everything.

It's about finding what actually works for YOUR brain and body — and having the courage to stop things that don't, even when you've invested time, money, or effort, or are being told 'it will be good for you'.

These days? I'm back to basics.

Learning to use the right muscles as I learn to walk properly on my treadmill at speed 5 or less.

Cutting back on 'doing all the things' to support my body, and instead paring it back to work with my chiro and an exercise physiologist who understands hypermobility and ADHD.

And gentle, retsorative movement that works with my body (and brain), not against it.

In my latest blog post, I share:

• What's genuinely helped (protein, electrolytes, capacity planning, sensory awareness)
• Building a support team (not doing it alone)
• Why things stop working (and what to do about it)
• Permission to do things differently

This isn't a prescriptive "10 steps to fix yourself" post. It's the messy, real version — trial, error, and a lot of self-compassion.

If you're navigating your own journey of building a life that fits your brain, this one's for you.

Link to the full post: https://janinedefontaine.com/a-healthier-life-with-adhd/