Coach Tom Weder

Coach Tom Weder Junior Soccer Coach | U5-13, Technical foundations & intelligent play. Helping players solve the game

Respect isn't something we simply ask children to have.It's something they learn by watching the adults around them.A ch...
02/09/2026

Respect isn't something we simply ask children to have.

It's something they learn by watching the adults around them.

A child who blames and berates a referee may have learned that behaviour from a parent or coach.

A child who speaks disrespectfully to a coach may have learned that their behaviour carries no consequence.

A child who talks poorly to teammates may have learned that nobody will hold them accountable for it.

Children are constantly watching what we do, what we say and what we allow.

If we want players who take ownership, accept responsibility and don't look for someone else to blame, those behaviours need to be modelled first.

That includes Saturday morning.

If you're yelling at a junior referee, blaming every decision or speaking to officials in a way you wouldn't want your child to speak to someone else, perhaps it's worth reconsidering what you're teaching.

The behaviour we tolerate becomes part of the environment we create.

Set the example you want your child to follow.

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It's an uncomfortable question because most of us want both.We want our child to play well. And we want them to win.But ...
28/08/2026

It's an uncomfortable question because most of us want both.

We want our child to play well. And we want them to win.

But junior football doesn't always give us both.

Sometimes the performance is excellent and the result isn't. Sometimes the result is excellent and the performance isn't.

So what are we actually celebrating?

The score?

Or the development that happened along the way?

A player can make better decisions, show courage and take another step forward - and still lose.

Another can win the game and learn very little.

The scoreboard tells us who won. It doesn't always tell us who learned.

Perhaps the real challenge isn't choosing between winning and playing well.

It's deciding which one we want our children to believe matters most.

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“Parent management” is a phrase often used in junior sport. But it can suggest that parents are simply another problem f...
26/08/2026

“Parent management” is a phrase often used in junior sport.

But it can suggest that parents are simply another problem for coaches to deal with.

In my experience, most parents are reasonable, interested and willing.

They want to understand the environment their child is part of.

The coach sees the whole picture. Parents often see only part of it.

When communication leaves a gap, assumptions can fill it.

A parent may not understand a playing-time decision, a position their child is playing, a training approach or a result. That doesn’t automatically make them difficult. Often, they simply don’t have the same information as the coach.

Good communication doesn’t mean every decision needs to be negotiated or agreed upon. It means expectations are clear, information arrives reliably, and reasonable questions can be asked.

Communicate the season’s priorities. Provide weekly information in plenty of time. Keep families informed when plans change. Share progress throughout the year.
If the environment ultimately isn’t the right fit for a child or family, that can also be handled respectfully. Not every coach and family will be perfectly aligned, and neither party has necessarily failed.

Clear. Frequent. Reliable. Good communication builds trust.

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When we talk about being tough, we often think about physical strength.Being brave in a challenge. Working through disco...
19/08/2026

When we talk about being tough, we often think about physical strength.

Being brave in a challenge. Working through discomfort. Getting back up when things get hard.

Those things matter.

But toughness also has a mental side.

Can you stay focused when someone frustrates you? Can you control your emotions when a decision doesn't go your way? Can you keep thinking clearly when the game becomes difficult?

Being physically strong is valuable. But if someone can easily make you angry, distract you from the game or cause you to react, there is still an area to develop.

Real resilience is not about ignoring your emotions. It's about learning not to let them control your actions.

You won't control every tackle, decision or opponent.

But you can control what you do next.

That is a skill worth practising in football and well beyond it.

Be strong. Be composed. Stay in control.

đź’š

A player cannot be expected to consistently recognise, understand or execute something simply because a coach knows it s...
14/08/2026

A player cannot be expected to consistently recognise, understand or execute something simply because a coach knows it should happen.

If the behaviour matters, it needs to be taught.

That means creating opportunities to experience it, giving players enough information to understand it, and allowing them time to make mistakes while learning.

Before asking, "Why didn't they do it?"

Ask:

"Have I given them enough opportunity to learn it?"

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Community coaches naturally want to fix what went wrong on the weekend.It's a good instinct.But if every Tuesday session...
12/08/2026

Community coaches naturally want to fix what went wrong on the weekend.

It's a good instinct.

But if every Tuesday session is built around Saturday's mistakes, the season can quickly lose direction.

One week it's finishing. The next it's defending corners. Then it's playing out from the back. Before long, you've spent months reacting instead of developing.

A season plan exists to protect against that.

It identifies the technical skills, tactical concepts, and game principles your players should experience throughout the year. It provides direction and helps ensure important areas of development aren't overlooked.

That doesn't mean you ignore what happened on the weekend.

It means you decide whether it deserves attention without abandoning the bigger picture.

Junior players need far more than solutions to last week's problems.

They need a broad foundation that prepares them for the years ahead.

A season plan doesn't exist to organise sessions. It exists to protect long-term development from short-term reactions.

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Every community sports club will face difficult decisions.Facilities. Coaches. Teams. Finances. Competitions. Priorities...
06/08/2026

Every community sports club will face difficult decisions.

Facilities. Coaches. Teams. Finances. Competitions. Priorities.

Reasonable people won’t always agree on the right answer.

But every decision should begin with one simple question:

Who does this decision serve?

If the answer is the community, the club is probably staying true to its purpose.

If decisions consistently favour the ambitions, preferences, or interests of a few, it’s worth asking whether the club is still serving the people it was created for.

Community clubs exist because people volunteer their time, families invest their trust, and children turn up each week hoping to belong.

Every coach, committee member, volunteer and parent is only a custodian for a time.

The club itself belongs to the community.

Our responsibility is not simply to leave it successful.

It’s to leave it stronger than we found it.

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The language we use as coaches shapes the way players think.When we speak in absolutes-“Don’t shoot from there.” “Never ...
28/07/2026

The language we use as coaches shapes the way players think.

When we speak in absolutes-“Don’t shoot from there.” “Never dribble there.”—we’re doing more than giving instruction. We’re teaching players what to stop looking for.

Football is full of moments where a player needs to recognize an opportunity others don’t. Sometimes the difficult option is exactly what’s required.

If we’ve spent years coaching those decisions out of young players, they may stop looking for them altogether.

Instead of making the decision for them, help them understand the situation. Talk about angles, space, numbers, pressure, and risk. Explain why one option might succeed more often than another.

Then trust them to decide.

Most of the time they’ll choose the higher-percentage option.

Occasionally they’ll see something others don’t.

Those moments come from players who have been trusted to think for themselves.

Our role isn’t to make every decision for our players.

It’s to prepare them for the moments when they have to make their own.

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It’s tempting to model a junior team after a professional club you admire. The patterns, the formations, the style-it al...
25/06/2026

It’s tempting to model a junior team after a professional club you admire. The patterns, the formations, the style-it all looks exciting on TV.

But young players are not ready to replicate elite systems. Their learning is ongoing, their decision-making is developing, and their physical and technical abilities are still growing. Forcing a system designed for professionals can limit creativity, confidence, and understanding.

The most effective coaches focus on the players in front of them. They adapt ideas to suit the group, emphasizing skill development, decision-making, and understanding over rigid ex*****on. Mistakes are encouraged, choices are respected, and effort is applauded.

By looking at your coaching style and prioritizing player growth, you help every individual progress on their own path. Development takes patience, reflection, and humility.

The goal is simple: build capable, confident players - not miniature copies of your favourite team.

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Many parents judge coaching by results.That is understandable. Scores and ladders are easy to see. What is often harder ...
10/06/2026

Many parents judge coaching by results.

That is understandable. Scores and ladders are easy to see. What is often harder to see is the coach's focus and intention.

A strong junior coach is not only teaching skills. They are building an environment where children feel safe to try, make mistakes, ask questions, and keep learning. They balance challenge with support, and they think about the long-term development of every player, not just the outcome of one match.

One useful sign is this: if your child continues to enjoy coming to training, stays connected to the game, and feels encouraged to improve, there is a good chance they are part of a positive environment.

Creating that experience takes time, patience, and care. Much of that work happens quietly, away from the spotlight of match day.

Not every child has the benefit of a coach who prioritises development, enjoyment, and long-term growth.

If your child is fortunate enough to have that environment, take a moment to let their coach know you appreciate what they do. A simple thank you can go a long way.

Good coaches invest in more than football. They help children build confidence, resilience, and a lasting connection to the game.

Much of that work goes unseen, but its impact can last for years.

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